In need of a fresh perspective, A situation I don't know how to handle.

[havelock]

Brace yourselves folks. This might take a while.

Now I’m not normally the sort of person that likes to go to other people for advice, Independence can be something of a flaw for me sometimes, but I genuinely haven’t got a clue about how to deal with the situation in which I have found myself, and my friends become stoic and glassy eyed if you mention anything that even hints of emotion to them. It concerns a female co-worker.

I’ll start by saying I’m a man in my mid-twenties. I’ve always been hopeless with the opposite sex, but I get by. I started a new job about 5 or six months ago and I met this girl, (she’s not English, but speaks it very well). I immediately knew I was very attracted too her because my ability to speak vanished – not helpful – anyway I did nothing because that’s how I usually play it. She is a very flirty girl naturally and this was something I was aware of from the start so when she started speaking to me a lot in work I thought nothing of it. Now a few months have passed, I’ve become more and more enamoured by her. We get along well and she passes me flirty little notes a lot. Anyway I’m still getting confused by these signals am I just another male co-worker she flirts with or could there be more to it. A friend of mine pointed out that although she talks to a lot of the other guys she generally keeps a bit of distance and I’m the only one that she gets close too and touches, she touches my hands and arms a lot or just rubs her hand across my front when she walks past stuff like that. Also not too long ago we had a bit of a misunderstanding and she was pissed off. She thought I had showed someone else one of the notes she writes for me and didn’t speak to me for a day or too. This was when I realized my feeling for her had escalated to something I was unprepared for because I was despairing that I had upset her.

My point is I’m not sure of her intentions towards me, I may have become too attached to her and I really don’t know how to handle the situation. I don’t want to do nothing and then find out that she had feelings towards me but couldn’t keep waiting for me to ‘man up’. But I don’t want to scare her off. I think a bit a female (or any, really) perspective on the situation may help shed some light.

[River Rain]

I'm all for taking risks and finding things out by directly asking a person, but the thing that would deter me in your situation is that you have to work together.

 

Maybe just ask her out for lunch or a coffee, a very friendly meeting and see where it goes from there?

[kamani]

"She is a very flirty girl naturally and this was something I was aware of from the start so when she started speaking to me a lot in work I thought nothing of it. "

 

Well, what do you mean by 'flirty'? If she is 'flirty' with other guys as well, you are just another one for her. She knows about you and she finds it easy to access you.

 

 

"arms a lot or just rubs her hand across my front when she walks past stuff like that. "

 

I'm not sure what you mean by 'front'. Is it rubbing against your private areas? If it is so she's playing you a fool.

 

Frankly, I don't feel that you should pursue her.