ForeverlovingRami Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 (edited) We took a break / broke up after several discussions about taking time apart couse we both dident feel well. This was bothsided...Tho I ment to take a break just to heal and find eachother again and start all fresh... But in her eyes, break was same thing as breaking up and so we both agreed on doing so couse we coulden't find any other solution. But I feel like I regret doin so now that I notice she kinda takes distance from me even as a friend! No calls, no texting, nothing more or less.. She gave me the " If it's ment to be, we'll find eachother again" or "I'll be here for you, you can call me anytime".. First week was fine, then I got depressed after realising it was all real.. Started texting that I coulden't take it, called alot etc etc... Now I've accepted that fact and I'm now in the state where I'm trying to move on. Exercise, hang with friends goin on trips etc etc.. Tho we met yesterday (1½ weeks after the breakup). It was all good, nothing bout the past just had a great laugh together and talked about dreams and such. But what I wonder is... Is she feeding of me emotionally, was she only seeing me becouse she felt sorry for me after calling, begging and pleeding? What should I do now? Couse I gave her the taste of how I am now, more calm, cool n collected. Even left the door open to go out grabing something to eat next week and she said sure. Maybe this was too soon? Should I leave it be, and go NC for some weeks to see if her lonelyness kicks in and contacts me? Couse after all, it was she who grew tierd of me after I simply acted like a insecure jerk and let her dominate me like a little puppy more or less.. No big fights, but small argues once in a wile that we both got depressed from. I know I love her to the grave and that's why I'm not letting her go! Anyone whos experienced the same thing? Thoughts about it? Regards... Edited November 1, 2012 by ForeverlovingRami
oracle Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 You guys are caught up in the attachment and comfortzone of what you had. That takes time to get over. We can all get attached to anything, even situations that are really bad for us, or we didn't really enjoy being in. Bottom line is how you got to where you are. Thats not a good scenario. Chances are it would happen again. Don't read into anything.. I know that is impossible to do - but take my word for it. I have lived with my ex 2.5yrs past break up. I spent the first year reading into everything and moving the goal posts on waiting for things to happen that would "Change" the situation. You DON'T WANT to wait for her to get lonely. That means shes not there cause she loves you.. it means shes lonely and you will do for that moment. We all get caught up in the hopelessness of the moment and do things that fullfill a temporary need. Keyword temporary. Don't hang around like a dog for the scraps. I did that. Change and do things for YOU.. don't show her how you have changed. Don't make it a fight about trying to win her back. Thats a bad place to live your life from, cause you will be forever a slave to your emotions and her whims. Find a way to change the channel, take her outta focus and do things you wanna do for you and you alone. It will get better Hang in there
Author ForeverlovingRami Posted November 1, 2012 Author Posted November 1, 2012 Well, I've heard the same thing from friends and family but It's just so damn hard. Like yesterday I diden't feel anything, I felt like I came out strong after keepin it so collected when we met up again... But today, I've been crying alot and doin the "woulda, coulda, shoulda" over and over.. I know I have to move on for myself, hell I even got a new job coming next monday. But I really don't wanna leave my lover whos my best friend behind. We had small argues, but if we sum it down together don't you think theres a chans we can move on from there? As friends, to build something beutiful again or do u really think sparks are gone for good and should just move on without her? I'm so confused... It hurts so much... Not fun at all, poisoned by her love
flitzanu Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 if it was "a break" and she took the opportunity to push you out of her life, sounds like she was looking for a reason to breakup anyway.
Author ForeverlovingRami Posted November 2, 2012 Author Posted November 2, 2012 if it was "a break" and she took the opportunity to push you out of her life, sounds like she was looking for a reason to breakup anyway. Yeah true man, I broke the trust and therefore she lost interest in me prolly other reasons aswell... Besides, this girl got alooot in her bag.. She had been treaded like **** most of her life and now I did the same in small terms... Guess u meet people in different periods in life, im glad she helped me with everything she did and made me realise all thoose things that now left behind (drugs n such). Been sober / clean for 7 weeks and I'm still going strong.. Aiming on myself now, but hope to become one of her best friends in the future couse shes such a fine girl!
Author ForeverlovingRami Posted November 3, 2012 Author Posted November 3, 2012 My friend saw her out with another guy, the guy she claimed being a "good" friend, a so to call listener to her problems. Probably a player ofc. Anyways, they we're kissing at the club! Do u guys think she's looking for a rebound?
puzzled1 Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 My friend saw her out with another guy, the guy she claimed being a "good" friend, a so to call listener to her problems. Probably a player ofc. Anyways, they we're kissing at the club! Do u guys think she's looking for a rebound? Honestly man, she is moving on and you need too also. It has such a hard task to ignore what she is doing every second of the day, but that just prolongs the healing process. You need to cut all ties with her, dont ask mutual friends about her, dont call/ text her. Let her live her life and you live yours.
ImYours Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 hi ForeverlovingRami Just checking on you. I read ur post I feel your pain.
Author ForeverlovingRami Posted November 3, 2012 Author Posted November 3, 2012 Yeah Its hard alltho she made it abit easyer now that she turned to that ugly prick. I know ill be the one coming out stronger on This one. Thanks alot for the great support, been boosting and helping me alot. Its time to get ripped again and wait for My true princess!! Roar!!!
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