lovehurts1255 Posted August 2, 2004 Posted August 2, 2004 I have never done anything like this before but I'm really confuse about my ex. Let start off by saying that we were together for 8 months as bf/gf but was just friends for three months before that. The last couple of weeks had been really hard for the both of us fighting and not getting along. About two weeks ago on a Sunday we called it off but was back together by Wed. But it just did not feel right so last Tuesday when i went over to see him i told him that we needed to talk about our relationship and he really did not want to talk about it at that time but it was not fair to me that we did not. The bottom line is that he told me that he still love me and he does not want me to hate him because he can see us being together one day but he needs some time right now. I agree to this because I love him so much but it hurts because i keep getting mix emotions from him. We have talked everyday since last Tuesday and he still calls me sweetie and tells me that he loves me every-time before we hang up. Which was driving me crazy because if he cares that much about me then why can't we work together though this. So last night he called me again and we got in to a long discussion for about an hour. Which he tells me that we are not bf/gf and that he loves me and cares for me alot but does now know if he is in love with me anymore because he does not know what he wants wait now. Also, he has express his desire for me to wait for him but does not think that would be fair of him to ask of me. He also wanted me to promise him that if I do find someone and we never get back together that i would not bring that person around him because it would be very hard for him to see me with someone else. And that if either one of us finds someone else we would call and talk to each other first. So at the end of the discussion I told him that since he need time that I love him enough to give him time and that i will not call him and for him to call me when he knows what he wants. My question is what is going on between us? Do you think that he does just need time? And do i have any hope of us getting back together?I really love this man with all of my heart. And oh yeah he called me sweetie again and told me that he loved me before we hung up!!! We do have a couple of engagement that we are attending together this month.
pitprincess Posted August 3, 2004 Posted August 3, 2004 Sounds like he is unsure of what he wants... Its not fair and I hate that for you.
popvix Posted August 3, 2004 Posted August 3, 2004 Its the classic story really. Young people who havent been through many ups and downs with love and relationships arent ready to commit to love or those natural emotions, until their desire to have "fun" has subsided. Alot of the time, people suddenly and accidentally let someone into their hearts and we all fall in love. Then one day, one of us backs out since they "need space / time" which is just a nice way of saying "love is great and all, and i would love to be with someone like you in the future, but right now i have more urgent needs". For me that lasted 7 years where my g/f kept her "youthful urges" locked up while she was seeing me.... but once she started mixing with her age group again,... love and relationships took a back seat to cheap thrills, parties and being "single". Alot of the time, the person leaving seems to say things like they would maybe want to get back with you in the future, but "not right now"... which probably does more harm than good. It puts fake hope in our hearts and makes it even more difficult for us to recover, since a big part of the healing process is just realising things are OVER, which most of us (me included) have a very very very difficult time coming to terms with no matter what we say, do or think,.. at the back of our minds theres a tiny candle still burning for the two of you eh.... You ended your story by essentially saying you were going to put your heartbreak on hold, in the very vain hope that someday you'll come back together and everything will be ok. As much as you cant help but think it, its a complete lie that your emotions are telling you. Your rational side would never give that kind of advice to someone else in your predicament would it? One thing ive learned is to try and give myself advice from the perspective of someone else when my emotional side is kicking in.... often it becomes painfully clear that im throwing all my self respect out of the window just to try and cope with the pain for a little bit longer. Hope that helps... im sorry if it sounded a little harsh and clinical but knowing how your mind plays tricks and how to control emotions that arent good for you is an amazing step in moving on with life.
Author lovehurts1255 Posted August 3, 2004 Author Posted August 3, 2004 Thanks for all the help!! Heard from him again last night and of course he said Gotta go sweetie I love you Bye!!! I just wish the pain would go away because deep down I know that i do not deserve this kind of treatment. I'm going to try not calling him and see where that leads us!!!
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