OhDaeSu Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Hello, friends. First of all, sorry for my English, I am not a native-speaker. I know you all are bored of these stories already, but unfortunately here comes another one. I am married for 5 years (I am 27 y.o.). Never been super-duper happy within the marriage bonds and lately things have been getting worse. My wife is a very good person, very faithful, honest, beautiful girl, but she is completely incompetent in bed…total ZERO!! Almost every position and every kind of sex except classical is a perversion in her opinion (for instance: I love doggy-style, this is the only position that turns me on really much….even this is uncomfortable for her…so I don’t even mention blowjobs and all the NORMAL stuff, we, regular ppl like to do!!) Here you ask me, why the hell did you marry her? The Answer: I was in huge love, she is a very devoted and tender person, interesting, smart, she always forgave me for all my mistakes and bad behavior….During our dating period I didn’t think that sex gonna mean so much for me in the future. My fault. But now I am completely frustrated…I’ ve never cheated on her. Never (let’s take into consideration, there are some girls around me, who told me bluntly: I want you, I can do whatever you want in bed). I tried talking to her, tried flowers, romantic evenings, presents, etc…it’s no use. Yesterday I told her everything. I was very careful with words, really I don’t like hurting her. I told : I am not satisfied so I have no choice, I am going to cheat. Also I am ready for divorce. I offered the break up. I said it’s better to be honest and divorced than be a cheater and liar. We cried almost the whole night together. She said she loves me very much, and she can’t imagine her life without me, but!!!!!.... her quote: I don’t want to be a part of an orgy!! . What you think, guys?
Minka333 Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 You should have appeased her that you are not looking for orgy. That you just want her to become more open..experimental and uninhibited. It's a good thing you were honest but talking about divorcing her sounds a bit harsh. Give her time to prove and show you she is willing to change first. 1
Balzac Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Offering divorce was the manly, stand up thing to do. My guess is she'll promise but not deliver. "Orgy" is so not what you asked for. Move on.
todreaminblue Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 so I don’t even mention blowjobs and all the NORMAL stuff, we, regular ppl like to do!!) Actually a pretty high percentage of average women don't do the blow job thing and i have a problem with what people consider to be normal when there is no gradient for normal it is impossible to decipher unless you lined up every married couple in the world and asked what they do in bed..most are actually pretty private and wouldnt participate in a survey.... then if you get enough participants its still not going to be accurate and if you could even work out the median of that average and seeing there are so many sex acts again how can you tell when people sometimes do and sometimes dont like to do something..or used to do something but grew out of that or bored of it..too mind boggling.have i confused you then good forget normal there is no normal......theres sex and then there is depraved sex.......depraved is where you force someone to participate in anything they are truly uncomfortable with thats depraved its dominance and submission by an uncomfortable party....sex needs to be consenting on both behalfs.......then there is making love which i feel husband and wife should do....doggy is animal like and you would probably be surprised how many women regard it as such....doesnt feel like being made love to why dont you broaden you mind and think of a reverse spoon(where you are spooning her) and add some love making in there.......you are behind so you have your favorite position just a more gentle and loving one.......you can touch her hair whisper in her ear how much you love her.....then that's not an orgy is it....... there are many books out there with help on broadening your options with making love you have to work on it as the man..be creative......if i had a husband and he said to me that he was going to cheat if i didnt do something i would say wheres the paper work lets go......where do i sign that divorce ill set you free......if i ever do get married it wont be to a guy who says that to me...ill make sure of that...... you dont love the woman if you are going to cheat ......i would suggest counselling to help as well.Your wife has some issues and you have been understanding of that but are no longer understanding........you can be creative with lovemaking you dont have to think you have to be normal..there is no normal....... you and your wifes love life is unique to the both of you, body mind and spirit why would you want to mimic others love lives.....take your wifes needs into consideration and maybe you can work out a beautiful fulfilling love life together with.....and this goes for everything in life....practice...its half the fun learning what does turn your wife on......sounds like you dont know.....tsk tsk....get to work....practice......best wishes and loads of practice makes almost perfect.....deb 5
Author OhDaeSu Posted November 1, 2012 Author Posted November 1, 2012 Thank you, guys....Especially you, Todreaminblue....Made me think a lot
Steen719 Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Actually a pretty high percentage of average women don't do the blow job thing and i have a problem with what people consider to be normal when there is no gradient for normal it is impossible to decipher unless you lined up every married couple in the world and asked what they do in bed..most are actually pretty private and wouldnt participate in a survey.... then if you get enough participants its still not going to be accurate and if you could even work out the median of that average and seeing there are so many sex acts again how can you tell when people sometimes do and sometimes dont like to do something..or used to do something but grew out of that or bored of it..too mind boggling.have i confused you then good forget normal there is no normal......theres sex and then there is depraved sex.......depraved is where you force someone to participate in anything they are truly uncomfortable with thats depraved its dominance and submission by an uncomfortable party....sex needs to be consenting on both behalfs.......then there is making love which i feel husband and wife should do....doggy is animal like and you would probably be surprised how many women regard it as such....doesnt feel like being made love to why dont you broaden you mind and think of a reverse spoon(where you are spooning her) and add some love making in there.......you are behind so you have your favorite position just a more gentle and loving one.......you can touch her hair whisper in her ear how much you love her.....then that's not an orgy is it....... there are many books out there with help on broadening your options with making love you have to work on it as the man..be creative......if i had a husband and he said to me that he was going to cheat if i didnt do something i would say wheres the paper work lets go......where do i sign that divorce ill set you free......if i ever do get married it wont be to a guy who says that to me...ill make sure of that...... you dont love the woman if you are going to cheat ......i would suggest counselling to help as well.Your wife has some issues and you have been understanding of that but are no longer understanding........you can be creative with lovemaking you dont have to think you have to be normal..there is no normal....... you and your wifes love life is unique to the both of you, body mind and spirit why would you want to mimic others love lives.....take your wifes needs into consideration and maybe you can work out a beautiful fulfilling love life together with.....and this goes for everything in life....practice...its half the fun learning what does turn your wife on......sounds like you dont know.....tsk tsk....get to work....practice......best wishes and loads of practice makes almost perfect.....deb Awesome, awesome post from a woman's perspective. Great post, Deb!
BetrayedH Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Most of us were not fortunate enough to have a spouse that had the courage to have the divorce conversation before they cheated on us. I think that must have been amazingly difficult for you. While that conversation certainly hurt you both, it was much more respectful to your wife than cheating. My hope at this point is that you go to marriage counseling and continue to have those difficult conversations and see if you can become a more sexually compatible couple now that she knows how important it is to you. Going to a counselor that specializes in this is probably a good idea. You married this woman and I suspect it was for a good reason. I hope you exhaust every opportunity to fix your marriage before you leave it. Good luck to you. 1
Tara247 Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 What he said^^^. However, unless your wife has some mental or physical issues that are causing her low libido, she's never going to be a freak in bed. You're going to have to accept that if you stay. You married her knowing how she was sexually.
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