ja123 Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Has this ever happened to any of you, LoveShackers? You meet someone, through OLD or by another means, go out once with the person and neither of you contacts the other afterwards. Then, out of the blue, he/she contacts you? What did you think? What did you do? This happened to me recently. This guy I met on OLD 2 years ago emailed me to ask if I remembered him, and said he wasn't sure why we never got together again; then, he invited me out to a movie. I'm no longer on OLD, but I checked out the site and saw that he still is. Honestly, our emails, preceding our first and only meet way back then, were a bit tense. I wasn't very nice to him in pointing out some unsolicited truths. True or not, that's my bad, and I regret it. Anyhow, on the "date" ... which I couldn't believe he initiated considering I was unkind, he paid it back with sexism and sarcasm. OK. I understand. Anyhow, neither of us contacted the other. Now, he contacted me again on my personal email which he'd kept. He wrote a nice email and I wrote back, then he asked me to call ... so, I did. We had a very nice adult-like conversation. I was really surprised. No bitterness, just openess, and a general feeling of being comfortable. Although, I was unable to go out with him on the night he suggested, we'll probably see another movie some time soon, or do something sporty. I still can't quite wrap my head around this, though. What do you make of this?
River Rain Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Wow...2 years later. Is he recently out of a relationship?
dasein Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 He thinks you may be "the one that got away" and wants to see if you might be open to another try. Good luck. 1
Author ja123 Posted November 1, 2012 Author Posted November 1, 2012 Wow...2 years later. Is he recently out of a relationship? I didn't ask if he was recently out of a relationship, and neither of us enquired about the other's relationship status, I guess with the assumption that we're both single; otherwise, he wouldn't have written, nor would I have responded to say I was open to seeing him. We also exchanged our landline numbers, so it's not like we have anything to hide; i.e., a spouse. I did notice though that when I was on OLD I was in "the dating" category, and he was in "the longterm" category. Now he is in the "hang out" category. So maybe he was in a relationship and just wants to "hang out." But to me that is a euphemism for casual sex, in general. Though, I browsed the site and saw alot of men on there ... who've been on there since I was on ... are still there, and what they have in common is that they've changedtheir "long term" category to "dating", "friends", hanging out". I can only think that they're still hoping to meet someone special, but have been perhaps disheartened from the challenges of OLD, and have more or less thrown in the towel to some extent. Does that sound right, men of LoveShack? Could that be the reason?
dasein Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 We can't tell you, could be he is relatively recently out of a relationship and doesn't want to rush into the next one, currently involved, etc. No way to tell from a dating profile. If plans result, you are just going to have to find out for yourself. Enjoy the anticipation.
Author ja123 Posted November 1, 2012 Author Posted November 1, 2012 He thinks you may be "the one that got away" and wants to see if you might be open to another try. Good luck. Maybe, dasein, maybe. It did cross my mind that he might be contacting all his old contacts, but that's just the cynic in me. Based on the phone conversation, though, he seemed completely genuine. And I guess, it's not every girl who suggests winter camping ... maybe something like that stuck in his mind after all these years. At the time, I remember being so excited to be out with a man at the movies that I placed my hand on his knee for a bit. He did not take my hand or return any kind of affection or sign of interest. He just seemed rather bored.
Author ja123 Posted November 1, 2012 Author Posted November 1, 2012 Enjoy the anticipation. Thanks, yeah, I will. I'm so focused on other areas of my life that I'm not really looking, but the door isn't closed either. Que sera sera.
manup Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 Occasionally when I get horny or bored or even if I'm just too busy to go out I'll do this just to clean out my phone or email list. If she responds well great I maybe get sex and if not it's no big deal because we haven't spoken in a long time anyways.
MrCastle Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 Occasionally when I get horny or bored or even if I'm just too busy to go out I'll do this just to clean out my phone or email list. If she responds well great I maybe get sex and if not it's no big deal because we haven't spoken in a long time anyways. Bulk texting. I know that game
Sugarkane Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 2 years is a long time. Why do guys never think they sound desperate/ weird when they do this? It seems desperate to me. Like " contact you as I'm lonely and now that's only why I'm interested".
truth_seeker Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 2 years is a long time. Why do guys never think they sound desperate/ weird when they do this? It seems desperate to me. Like " contact you as I'm lonely and now that's only why I'm interested". I had a girl do this to me. She was interested in me for a long time but I never made a move as she gave me a bad feeling (I thought she was kind of trashy). Almost 2 years later, she comes calling. I figured she was bored, curious, had nothing going on. This time around I was curious and pursued her. She was playing the field and chose another guy over me. I won't be surprised if she comes calling again, but this time I'm not answering.
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 2 years is a long time. Why do guys never think they sound desperate/ weird when they do this? It seems desperate to me. Like " contact you as I'm lonely and now that's only why I'm interested". This. Bingo. OP this guy sounds desperate, creepy, and suspicious. All in one neat package. I'd run the other way if I were you.
mysteryscape Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 what is OLD if not creepy and weird? So contacting after 2 years is not so bad in my book. ja123 could be right about men changing status on OLD. I tried it for a short while myself, was pretty successful at it and quit, but I found it nerve-wracking, not enjoyable, full of pressure to see things that just weren't there (i.e. LTR potential). I would be in no hurry to try it again. If I did, it would be much more in the hangout/friends mode, I hope.
xpaperxcutx Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 Well from personal experience they usually contact me when they're cleaning out their inboes and curiosity got to them to want to reach out again. I always turn them down cause they reek of desperation as them reaching out to me in so long certainly makes me seem like an option.
FitChick Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 After two years people and their circumstances can change. Perhaps he thought he needed a different type of woman back then but has come to find out that he doesn't. If he has made mistakes with other women, no reason why you can't benefit from them. You have nothing to lose by dating him but let him make all the moves and lead the relationship or not.
CarrieT Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 I've had it happen to me a few times; after a single date or two - or a *lengthy* email exchange that never went anywhere, they would try and see where I was at in my life. Usually I just say, "Thanks, but no thanks..."
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