rachelcarney Posted August 2, 2004 Posted August 2, 2004 So I emailed this former fiancee, that I haven't spoken to in five years. He wrote back after a day, then I wrote back, then he wrote back again after a day, then I wrote back again. It was going great, we were getting to know each other again, I thought. Now it's been five days and he hasn't written back. Do I write to him again? I want to invite him to ICQ, but will that seem pushy?
cinnamonstix49 Posted August 2, 2004 Posted August 2, 2004 A former fiancee? Did you end on good terms or not?
Author rachelcarney Posted August 2, 2004 Author Posted August 2, 2004 Well, how can it ever end on GOOD terms? But it wasn't particularly bad terms, I mean, there were no suicide threats, restraining orders, or scenes involving personal items dumped on front doorsteps. We broke up. But the confusing part is that he DID email me twice already. I mean, I would have understood if he'd have not replied at all, or replied and said, "please don't contact me again" or something. But he took the time to write to me twice, seemed genuinely happy to hear from me, and now five days with nothing. So do I invite him to ICQ? Or email again?
HoldOn Posted August 2, 2004 Posted August 2, 2004 The ball is in his court. If he wanted to write you back, he would. If he wanted to hang out with you, he would ask you. He probably just wrote back out of curiousity. Also, that's quite an ego boost to have an ex write you and see how you are doing. So.... don't write him again.
cinnamonstix49 Posted August 3, 2004 Posted August 3, 2004 Originally posted by HoldOn So.... don't write him again. Hold on... I disagree with HoldOn. I think that if you want to talk to him, go for it, but be careful not to fall too fast again, you don't want to end up getting hurt. I wouldn't do ICQ just yet, keep it with e-mail, if you go too fast into things, he might push away.
HoldOn Posted August 3, 2004 Posted August 3, 2004 What is ICQ anyway? I'm just saying that I would want to go out with a guy who REALLY REALLY wants to go out with me. So much that he'll call me and ask me out. IMHO, You've already opened the door for your ex, all he has to do is walk through. For you to contact him again is like beating a dead horse. Even if you do end up going out, he didn't REALLY REALLY want to in the first place.
Ali G Posted August 3, 2004 Posted August 3, 2004 now wot in da ell did yous go an do dat for? i did ave an ex contact me in da past, i thought it was well disrespekful of a to do such a fin. it be very disrespekful of her to do dat. Not nice in any wayz. respeck...westside
Author rachelcarney Posted August 3, 2004 Author Posted August 3, 2004 It's all fine. He sent me a nice long email today, he apologized for not writing back sooner, and said that I deserve more attention from him (I don't think I deserve anything, but it's nice that he wrote back anyhow.) I'm not going to push things, just reply whenever he writes to me.
HoldOn Posted August 3, 2004 Posted August 3, 2004 I don't think I deserve anything What is that supposed to mean?
Author rachelcarney Posted August 4, 2004 Author Posted August 4, 2004 I just meant that he doesn't 'owe' me any attention. Just because we used to be together doesn't mean he's some way indebted to me, that's what I meant. I can see how the way I said it could sound like I have a self-esteem problem though, you're right. Thanks for your concern. ICQ is a program that lets you chat with anyone else who has it, it's like Instant Messenger. It was more popular five years ago than it is now, I think. Thanks for your help, everyone! Your advice kept me from seeming pushy while he needed a few more days to reply!
HoldOn Posted August 4, 2004 Posted August 4, 2004 OK! Just making sure! I would personally stay away from IM. I like to have real conversations on the phone or in person. Just stay cool and let him take it to the next level...
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