todreaminblue Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Tonight I went out to a Chinese restaurant for dinner, sitting at the bar watching the flat screen TV. The guy next to me struck up a conversation, we got to talking about things. He's 50 (although he didn't look it), and I just figured we were just having a conversation. Then after I was done with my food, I said I was about to pay and he said he would get it. I said "Oh no really, it's mine" and I paid. While waiting for the check to be returned to me, he asked if he could hold my hand. I said NO. Then the waitress brought my check, I was signing it as quickly as possible. He asked if he could walk me to my car, I said NO or I would call my policeman friend and he would give him a talking to. Left me feeling rather creepy, it all reaked of desperation. Yucky... if a guy asks to hold my hand put his arm around me kiss me i find it polite..(...and respectful old fashioned ....but to me it gives me fair warning....what i find desperate are the so called good looking guys or any guy actually who can get a woman who grab my ass try to feel my breasts with a sly movement i am completely aware of and invade my personal space without asking..... because if a guy asks you get to say no.... sorry i am not comfortable with that but thanks for respecting me to ask........thats my common response...i dont feel creeped out....just respected....deb
SmileFace Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 I was on a couch bus for a three hour ride. This guy asked if he could sit next to me I said sure. He said can we have a conversation and can he lean on me to sleep. I said no - he cursed at me and called me a snob. Guys.
Author mortensorchid Posted November 1, 2012 Author Posted November 1, 2012 Those who responded in negative do not have policeman friends. A man you don't know wants to hold your hand? That's weird to me, I wouldn't ask that of a man I who I had just met. I think a man would find that odd as well. And then he asked to walk me to my car, I said no way. That way he could see what car I drive, memorize my license plate and then trace me through the license plate. Don't laugh, it happens!
Author mortensorchid Posted November 1, 2012 Author Posted November 1, 2012 ANd just for the record, we were making small talk and I asked him what he did. He said he was on SSI, he had just inherited his dead mother's house, and he had a beard down to his chest and he was in a death metal band. At age 50. He said he had no friends and it bothered him. I just said "Oh ..." and gave a polite smile. He was just a creepy man. Ah well, life goes on for me and for him.
somedude81 Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 At what point did you get the feeling that he was desperate?
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 ANd just for the record, we were making small talk and I asked him what he did. He said he was on SSI, he had just inherited his dead mother's house, and he had a beard down to his chest and he was in a death metal band. At age 50. He said he had no friends and it bothered him. I just said "Oh ..." and gave a polite smile. He was just a creepy man. Ah well, life goes on for me and for him. Aside from being on SSI, it sounds like a pretty good life. As for being creepy, well some of us guys are just good at being creepy. It's something I'm kind of fond of myself. It's what things like facebook were made for...
todreaminblue Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 (edited) ANd just for the record, we were making small talk and I asked him what he did. He said he was on SSI, he had just inherited his dead mother's house, and he had a beard down to his chest and he was in a death metal band. At age 50. He said he had no friends and it bothered him. I just said "Oh ..." and gave a polite smile. He was just a creepy man. Ah well, life goes on for me and for him. theres a lot of lonely people out there...i havent been approached by guys in a death metal band beards down to their chest......the men who have approached and asked me are normally well dressed and just respectful..... i do know this the ones who have been disrespectful and abusive were well dressed some drunk others not the ones who harassed me were not in a death metal band exactly the opposite.....takes all types and judging someone on appearance is a mistake....the one who is likely to give you trouble is the one you dont really notice until it is too late..no one notices them and that is half the problem......i rely on my faith and ask for guidance in situations that are new to me and im still kicking..i maybe shouldnt be ......and had a few situations to deal with so.....each to his own......i do know a kind response even with a no can help with healing an animal inside.....that is fact...deb Edited November 1, 2012 by todreaminblue
johan Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 theres a blatant double standard. men are attracted to lonely women, but women call lonely men creepy. Women call creepy creepy. They call lonely pathetic.
Necris Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Tonight I went out to a Chinese restaurant for dinner, sitting at the bar watching the flat screen TV. The guy next to me struck up a conversation, we got to talking about things. He's 50 (although he didn't look it), and I just figured we were just having a conversation. Then after I was done with my food, I said I was about to pay and he said he would get it. I said "Oh no really, it's mine" and I paid. While waiting for the check to be returned to me, he asked if he could hold my hand. I said NO. Then the waitress brought my check, I was signing it as quickly as possible. He asked if he could walk me to my car, I said NO or I would call my policeman friend and he would give him a talking to. Left me feeling rather creepy, it all reaked of desperation. Yucky... I was expecting to see something really desperate sounding but this just seems like a typical cold approach gone wrong. He probably thought you were into him after the conversation and wanted to impress by paying for the meal. Though after the first no he should have got the hint and walked away, but for some reason he didn't and that's probably when he started looking creepy. From the sound of things you really didn't like him from the very beginning but being desperate he may have saw signs that you liked him when they really weren't there. Though he didn't seem to creepy from reading this at least he was respectful enough to ask you if he could do something instead of just doing it. Then again there's also the very remote possibility that he really was just someone who wanted to do terrible things to you and your subconscious picked up on it making you feel uneasy. You didn't do anything wrong, but this does show why cold-approaching is generally a bad idea if the girl doesn't know you she's already on guard and if you aren't skilled with words or really good looking you'll more often than not just come off as creepy. As for approaching people in restaurants and cafeterias I have done that, its never successful. While I am shy I have tried to try my luck with cold approaching in this manner, I am probably a little better than the OP guy at speaking though at least I don't get women threatening to get the police on me:D, I can take a hint, and people generally do not describe me as creepy, I'm more of nice and funny.
Mrlonelyone Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 While I identify with what mortesnorchid said I can't agree that such a man must be creepy to everyone. Creeps approach me and ask about my crotch or describe their own. That's creepy. Mortensorchid describes the very common situation of a man who is simply not attractive approaching a woman. 1
Necris Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 While I identify with what mortesnorchid said I can't agree that such a man must be creepy to everyone. Creeps approach me and ask about my crotch or describe their own. That's creepy. Mortensorchid describes the very common situation of a man who is simply not attractive approaching a woman. I agree with this, from the looks of it she didn't like him from the get go unfortunately for him he couldn't see it. He may have had a creepy vibe, but at least he did seem like he was trying to be respectful even if he was misinterpreting signals at least he wasn't trying to rub her thighs or anything else dangerously creepy and out of the line.
MrCastle Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 It's what things like facebook were made for... Facebook was made to frequently visit your crush's page and see if their relationship status went from "in a relatonship" to "single"
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Facebook was made to frequently visit your crush's page and see if their relationship status went from "in a relatonship" to "single" That and creeping up on people you just met or barely know. Maybe they were in your history class and you once spoke to each other briefly. Or something like that. Also, to see if any of your friends know any cool looking women...
GorillaTheater Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 He's 50 (although he didn't look it) It wasn't me. Just to be clear. 2
BetheButterfly Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Tonight I went out to a Chinese restaurant for dinner, sitting at the bar watching the flat screen TV. The guy next to me struck up a conversation, we got to talking about things. He's 50 (although he didn't look it), and I just figured we were just having a conversation. Then after I was done with my food, I said I was about to pay and he said he would get it. I said "Oh no really, it's mine" and I paid. While waiting for the check to be returned to me, he asked if he could hold my hand. I said NO. Then the waitress brought my check, I was signing it as quickly as possible. He asked if he could walk me to my car, I said NO or I would call my policeman friend and he would give him a talking to. Left me feeling rather creepy, it all reaked of desperation. Yucky... Agreed. Yucky. I'm glad you have a policeman friend! It's always a blessing to have strong and good guy friends!!!
sweetkiwi Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 i really feel bad for some guys. This guy sounds creepy. But it the situation who knows. I had an awesome makeout session with a guy 20 years older than me. Death metal guy. Long beard. Yummy. But he was never desperate. Creepy was sexy on him.
Anela Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Mortensorchid describes the very common situation of a man who is simply not attractive approaching a woman. He doesn't have to be unattractive to make it creepy. I was approached by a guy I felt no attraction to whatsoever, but he wasn't pushy, and I wasn't nasty to him.
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