mortensorchid Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Tonight I went out to a Chinese restaurant for dinner, sitting at the bar watching the flat screen TV. The guy next to me struck up a conversation, we got to talking about things. He's 50 (although he didn't look it), and I just figured we were just having a conversation. Then after I was done with my food, I said I was about to pay and he said he would get it. I said "Oh no really, it's mine" and I paid. While waiting for the check to be returned to me, he asked if he could hold my hand. I said NO. Then the waitress brought my check, I was signing it as quickly as possible. He asked if he could walk me to my car, I said NO or I would call my policeman friend and he would give him a talking to. Left me feeling rather creepy, it all reaked of desperation. Yucky...
River Rain Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Tonight I went out to a Chinese restaurant for dinner, sitting at the bar watching the flat screen TV. The guy next to me struck up a conversation, we got to talking about things. He's 50 (although he didn't look it), and I just figured we were just having a conversation. Then after I was done with my food, I said I was about to pay and he said he would get it. I said "Oh no really, it's mine" and I paid. While waiting for the check to be returned to me, he asked if he could hold my hand. I said NO. Then the waitress brought my check, I was signing it as quickly as possible. He asked if he could walk me to my car, I said NO or I would call my policeman friend and he would give him a talking to. Left me feeling rather creepy, it all reaked of desperation. Yucky... Shudder...desperation or worse. I would have been creeped out too.
johan Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 You wouldn't hold the poor guy's hand?! Just a simple gesture, a small human connection, that would have brought a little joy and color to his cold, solitary life? Oh, what has the world come to? Maybe it's a fair question... would Jesus have done? 4
somedude81 Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Desperation has a creepy odor So what did it smell like? AND one thing I have to point out. Being desperate doesn't make a guy creepy. Doing creepy things makes a guy creepy... 4
ThaWholigan Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 So what did it smell like? AND one thing I have to point out. Being desperate doesn't make a guy creepy. Doing creepy things makes a guy creepy... Doesn't matter. Desperate still looks creepy to some women.
somedude81 Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Doesn't matter. Desperate still looks creepy to some women. OK, describe a desperate guy. I want to see how it looks to a woman.
ThaWholigan Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 OK, describe a desperate guy. I want to see how it looks to a woman. Desperation makes you look needy, even if you think it doesn't. You start to seem annoyingly persistent, verbally, sometimes physically even. Every piece of subtext to your conversation begins to sound more and more like you are desperate for any kind of female companionship and it becomes more and more of a turn off, and some women will find that creepy. I only know this because at differing parts of my life I've displayed parts of each thing. 1
River Rain Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Desperation makes you look needy, even if you think it doesn't. You start to seem annoyingly persistent, verbally, sometimes physically even. Every piece of subtext to your conversation begins to sound more and more like you are desperate for any kind of female companionship and it becomes more and more of a turn off, and some women will find that creepy. I only know this because at differing parts of my life I've displayed parts of each thing. As have I to men and my desperation was a turn off...don't know that they found it creepy, maybe so. 2
Anela Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 So what did it smell like? AND one thing I have to point out. Being desperate doesn't make a guy creepy. Doing creepy things makes a guy creepy... Desperation sometimes translates into someone coming across as creepy, or doing creepy things if they don't feel so rational. I know, because I'm sure I've come across that way once or twice, too. I think some guys have it in their heads that being pushy is the way to go. Try to wear her down. I had someone who tried to use their mother (and mine) to get to me. That's really unattractive. :/
ThaWholigan Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 As have I to men and my desperation was a turn off...don't know that they found it creepy, maybe so. To clarify, I don't think desperation itself is inherently creepy - just sad in a way. However, I think that some (a quite small portion) women will immediately think "CREEPY". 1
SJC2008 Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Your in trouble OP. I thought you only atteacted alpha deuches who won't com it! Now you're attracting creepers?
Anela Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 It isn't nice when someone refuses to listen, and keeps trying to corner you. 1
River Rain Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 To clarify, I don't think desperation itself is inherently creepy - just sad in a way. However, I think that some (a quite small portion) women will immediately think "CREEPY". I agree...I mean IF the OP's guy was in fact desperate, he did come off as creepy, at least the way she described it.
somedude81 Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Desperation makes you look needy, even if you think it doesn't. You start to seem annoyingly persistent, verbally, sometimes physically even. Every piece of subtext to your conversation begins to sound more and more like you are desperate for any kind of female companionship and it becomes more and more of a turn off, and some women will find that creepy. I only know this because at differing parts of my life I've displayed parts of each thing. The thing is, as everybody on this forum already knows, I'm completely desperate to get a GF. But, there is no way I'd do any of the things that the man in the first post did. To me what you described is less about being desperate and more about being socially unaware and not being mindful of ones actions. Desperation sometimes translates into someone coming across as creepy, or doing creepy things if they don't feel so rational. I know, because I'm sure I've come across that way once or twice, too. I think some guys have it in their heads that being pushy is the way to go. Try to wear her down. I had someone who tried to use their mother (and mine) to get to me. That's really unattractive. :/ I get what you are saying. Though I think it's more accurate to say, "Being desperate can lead to somebody doing creepy things." Also, I've seen guys who don't have any trouble with women, do very creepy things. 3
ThaWholigan Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 The thing is, as everybody on this forum already knows, I'm completely desperate to get a GF. But, there is no way I'd do any of the things that the man in the first post did. To me what you described is less about being desperate and more about being socially unaware and not being mindful of ones actions. That's what they all say though. Can you understand why I am skeptical? Do you really not think your desperation shows itself at any point?
Citizen Erased Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 This is why I never eat out by myself. It's like putting a "Please, molest me" sign on your back. 1
somedude81 Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 That's what they all say though. Can you understand why I am skeptical? Do you really not think your desperation shows itself at any point? I've been desperate for a very long time, and I've become very good at hiding it. It didn't take me long to learn that women do not respond well to desperation or being creepy. The girls that I interact with simply have no idea how desperate I am. Honestly, the only girl that I can think of that might know/suspect that I was desperate was the one I keep writing about here. And that's because we spent so much time together plus she knew that I liked her and she knew that I wanted a girlfriend and was having trouble getting one. Nobody else has a clue.
somedude81 Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 This is why I never eat out by myself. It's like putting a "Please, molest me" sign on your back. I'd molest you even if you were with somebody 1
Imajerk17 Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 (edited) That's what they all say though. Can you understand why I am skeptical? Do you really not think your desperation shows itself at any point? Word. Thing is SD, the OP only told us what the dude SAID AT THE END. She didn't talk about his body language while she was eating, which can really betray your inner emotions unless you really are focusing on it. (And even if you are focusing on it, still...) And which I'm guessing, was where she decided she wasn't interested. Put another way: Mortenschild probably decided she was turned off, BEFORE he even offered to pay her check and hold her hand and walk her to her car. He ALREADY lost her interest BEFORE he did all these things that creeped out the OP, and his pushing at the end when there was clearly no interest is (I'm guessing) what really made him creepy. And I wrong, mortenschild? Why did mortenschild decide she wasn't interested? I'm going to guess that it had to do with the guy's energy while she was eating. My point SD: You might not be creeping out women as this guy did to Mortenschild as she was leaving, but you and the other LS Desperados might be turning off women due to desperate body language, as this guy probably did to Mortenschild during her dinner. Edited November 1, 2012 by Imajerk17 1
NYC-BigKat Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Tonight I went out to a Chinese restaurant for dinner, sitting at the bar watching the flat screen TV. The guy next to me struck up a conversation, we got to talking about things. He's 50 (although he didn't look it), and I just figured we were just having a conversation. Then after I was done with my food, I said I was about to pay and he said he would get it. I said "Oh no really, it's mine" and I paid. While waiting for the check to be returned to me, he asked if he could hold my hand. I said NO. Then the waitress brought my check, I was signing it as quickly as possible. He asked if he could walk me to my car, I said NO or I would call my policeman friend and he would give him a talking to. Left me feeling rather creepy, it all reaked of desperation. Yucky... You'r really mean u know. He really liked u & tried to show u his feelings for u & u treat him like a common criminal .
johan Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 You'r really mean u know. He really liked u & tried to show u his feelings for u & u treat him like a common criminal . He acted like a guy who wouldn't respect her boundaries and was wanting to cross them right away. The pushy kind of guy who actually comes off as a dangerous person. So she was right to not take any risks. A woman can completely fail to enforce her boundaries against a guy who is determined to cross them, so it's appropriate to mention that she'll call in the police if she needs help. But I still think it's an interesting question: what would Jesus do if a guy came onto him too strong at a bar? 1
Imajerk17 Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 But I still think it's an interesting question: what would Jesus do if a guy came onto him too strong at a bar? Probably the same thing he did to the money-changers at the temple. Knock their booth over and kick their jewels on the floor. 2
CptObvious Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 wait did he seriously just ask you if he could hold your hand? That Boy Ain't Right - YouTube
ScreamingTrees Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 But I still think it's an interesting question: what would Jesus do if a guy came onto him too strong at a bar? Didn't something like that happen in the Bible? I never read that one.
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 But I still think it's an interesting question: what would Jesus do if a guy came onto him too strong at a bar? He'd turn the other cheek, of course. 3
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