BareGrizzly Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 Hi Guys, First time poster here. I'm thinking of sending my ex a letter in a few weeks after I go and collect my stuff from her house. She was the one who broke it off after 2 years, with most of them living together. We were extremely close and she was honestly the best friend I've ever had. She is younger than me and still has a lot of personal development to go through. Even though she has put me through so much pain, I still want to tell her to stop doubting herself and to tell her I really hope she finds true confidence in herself. A lot of her insecurities are what lead to our demise. My own insecurities also contributed. Is a letter along these lines a good idea or not? Its not really for my own benefit, I just really hopes she finds her happy place and soon Thanks
hurt_burst Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 I think you are making a very bad start... by starting to write that kind of letter.. If she broke up let her be on her own.. She is not a kid that she needs to be told. If she has taken a decision to get away from you ... she wants to be on her own.. and doesnt want any advices from you... If you however write such a letter to her... she would either not comment on it.. or give a nasty reply ..which would make you wonder..why did you write the letter in first place. It would be a start of a process in which you will start to loose your confidence and it would be really hurtful. I think you are not in that bad shape right now.. but if you do this.. you are making yourself an easy prey. Dont send any letter or whatever. Just let her be and stop all contact- anyhow she knows that you are more experienced in life.. if she needs any help..she would come to you...
Author BareGrizzly Posted October 31, 2012 Author Posted October 31, 2012 I'm not looking for a reply or expecting one. The letter is not for me. At least I don't think it is. I just really want her to stop doubting herself. I guess I'm also hoping to win her back in the future. The letter is also for those reasons
hurt_burst Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 if you send her a message like that..it will potray that you are in a week spot thinking that you still care for her. but the person who breaks off with you never would want to return to person who is in a weaker spot. you would have a better chance of having her back if you show your value and let her miss you. which she would obviously not by reading this message of yours. absence makes the heart grow fonder
Shinobi Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 Plain and simple- NO, do not send letter, do not say anything. Please read: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/354092-when-you-see-break-up-coming
Carenth Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 (edited) Don't send the letter. She broke it off and as much as you don't want to hear it. If she wants to contact you, she will. You contacting her as the dumpee shows you have no back bone or self respect. You say the letter is for her but in reality it is because you don't want to let go and still want some sort of communication or connection. She will be fine, I know after a break up we like to think our exes will crumble and fail without us. More often than not the dumper has gotten over the grieving stage long before they actually dumped you. So don't send the letter, instead focus on yourself. Do things you enjoy, hang out with friend and family, focus on work whatever. Don't dwell on the what if's and what could of beens because that is a waste of time. Let yourself feel the hurt, learn what you can from this past relationship so you know what to avoid in your next. Then let yourself heal and move on. Sending a letter to your ex will not achieve this and will just open all the wounds up again. Edited November 1, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
River Rain Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 Is a letter along these lines a good idea or not? Its not really for my own benefit, I just really hopes she finds her happy place and soon How would it be for her benefit? I agree it would be rather condescending, and ruin your chances of any possible reconciliation in the future.
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