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Engaged, two small kids. Fiancé had a "fling" with doctor who delivered our children

Alyssamillano

By Alyssamillano
in Separation and Divorce

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Alyssamillano New Member

Alyssamillano

Posted
Posted

This story seems like it came from a sitcom/movie.

 

I've been with my fiancé over 10 years. We have two small kids together. My ob/gyn who I have seen for numerous years and delivered my children was hanging out with my fiancé. I spoke with both of them separately after I found out through text messages, although I did not know who the woman was. He then confessed that it was my Doc. They both swear that he was going to set her up with a friend but when the friend didn't show up at the bar, it got flirtatious between the two of them and they kissed. They then met up again a couple of weeks later and kissed again. I then found out days after that.

 

I don't believe their stories. There is a lot more detail but this is it in a nutshell. She met up with me and tried to say that she asked if he was single and he said he was. I don't believe that, she knew we were getting married this year. I'm sure she's covering up to make sure she doesn't screw up her career. They both have so much to lose, I cannot believe anything they say.

 

 

I really just don't know what to do. Wedding is in a month and I almost just want to go through with it so I don't have to tell my family and friends this humiliating story. Plus our children are a factor (although I wouldn't stay with him just cause of the kids). I ask myself if I still love him and I just don't know.

 

We are in therapy and that helps but I'm not sure i can ever forgive and forget.

There is no contact between them, he is an open book- I can check email

Phone logs... Doesn't go out....

But what kind of life is that? Our relationship was great , I thought, no fights....

I just don't know of I can see him as the same man.

 

I wish we could postpone the wedding, but that's not possible this late in the game. I think of all the people I would be devastating with this news and canceling the wedding and honestly I cannot do that. I have not told my family or friends because I know they will hate him and its so embarrassing. I also have not said anything to the practice she works for although that's always I'm the back of my head.

I guess I need to talk to someone and see what other people think.

GuyInLimbo Established Member

GuyInLimbo

Posted
Posted

The ONLY person you should be thinking about right now is YOU. Screw the people coming. you want to put on a sham for all of them? People will understand, trust me.

 

I don't know if any malpractice/ethics laws have been violated. Worry about that later (or not bother). But, really, to go through with the wedding? Really? Have more respect for yourself. And, you don't owe any of the guests or family a reason. It's not their business.

  • Like 1
Balzac Established Member

Balzac

Posted
Posted

Interesting that you consider her actions a professional ethics violation. Not seeing that angle at all.

 

Ten years, two kids, I'd be more focused on what your relationship lacks from his POV. Is he medical profession as well?

Mr. Lucky Established Member

Mr. Lucky

Posted
Posted
I really just don't know what to do. Wedding is in a month and I almost just want to go through with it so I don't have to tell my family and friends this humiliating story...I wish we could postpone the wedding, but that's not possible this late in the game. I think of all the people I would be devastating with this news and canceling the wedding and honestly I cannot do that. I have not told my family or friends because I know they will hate him and its so embarrassing.

I'm going to paraphrase the movie "Argo" and say that of all the bad reasons to get married, that's the worst bad reason I've heard.

 

If you think the logistics of postponing a wedding are tough, wait until you go through the pain, hassle and heartbreak of divorce, especially with kids. Doesn't even compare...

 

I just don't know of I can see him as the same man.
Says it all right there. Instinct is powerful, listen to what your gut is trying to tell you...

 

Mr. Lucky

  • Like 2
K Os Established Member

K Os

Posted
Posted
I wish we could postpone the wedding, but that's not possible this late in the game.

 

Yes it is.

 

I hope you make the right decision for you.

  • Like 1
Mr. Lucky Established Member

Mr. Lucky

Posted
Posted
I think of all the people I would be devastating with this news and canceling the wedding and honestly I cannot do that.

We have two small kids together.

What commitment does the wedding represent that isn't already covered by two children together :confused: ???

 

Mr. Lucky

robf1971 Established Member

robf1971

Posted
Posted
This story seems like it came from a sitcom/movie.

 

I've been with my fiancé over 10 years. We have two small kids together. My ob/gyn who I have seen for numerous years and delivered my children was hanging out with my fiancé. I spoke with both of them separately after I found out through text messages, although I did not know who the woman was. He then confessed that it was my Doc. They both swear that he was going to set her up with a friend but when the friend didn't show up at the bar, it got flirtatious between the two of them and they kissed. They then met up again a couple of weeks later and kissed again. I then found out days after that.

 

I don't believe their stories. There is a lot more detail but this is it in a nutshell. She met up with me and tried to say that she asked if he was single and he said he was. I don't believe that, she knew we were getting married this year. I'm sure she's covering up to make sure she doesn't screw up her career. They both have so much to lose, I cannot believe anything they say.

 

 

I really just don't know what to do. Wedding is in a month and I almost just want to go through with it so I don't have to tell my family and friends this humiliating story. Plus our children are a factor (although I wouldn't stay with him just cause of the kids). I ask myself if I still love him and I just don't know.

 

We are in therapy and that helps but I'm not sure i can ever forgive and forget.

There is no contact between them, he is an open book- I can check email

Phone logs... Doesn't go out....

But what kind of life is that? Our relationship was great , I thought, no fights....

I just don't know of I can see him as the same man.

 

I wish we could postpone the wedding, but that's not possible this late in the game. I think of all the people I would be devastating with this news and canceling the wedding and honestly I cannot do that. I have not told my family or friends because I know they will hate him and its so embarrassing. I also have not said anything to the practice she works for although that's always I'm the back of my head.

I guess I need to talk to someone and see what other people think.

 

The very word 'fling' minimizes this whole situation. Cancel the wedding!!

MuscleCarFan Established Member

MuscleCarFan

Posted
Posted
The very word 'fling' minimizes this whole situation. Cancel the wedding!!

 

I wholeheartedly agree!

riverratt Established Member

riverratt

Posted
Posted

Don't marry the guy..

 

All I can say about this..Other posters have taken my thoughts..

health Established Member

health

Posted
Posted

Dump him, let the right people know to expose her. Then become a success story.

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