Necris Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 I noticed recently we have had alot of race threads on Loveshack though they seemed to be more focused on Indian and Asian interracial dating, so I thought why not create another thread. So do you think your race effects your dating life? If so how? Personally I'm completely comfortable with interracial dating, I'm attracted to all races of women and limiting myself based on race just doesn't make much sense. But I do realize that interracial dating is actually rare, and many people are not comfortable with or just aren't attracted to people outside their race. I think one of the reasons why I'm having such difficulty getting a girlfriend is probably due to my social circle (cold approaches rarely yield results for anyone, unless you are incredibly good-looking, or charismatic), I'm black but my social circle is mostly white and other races but very few other black people who aren't family with really no black women in my social circle. So I'm sort of limited here as women of other races are far more likely to be attracted to members of their own race already and then they'd be a bit apprehensive to dating members of other races. Then again its probably just me as black women aren't attracted to me as well, I'm just too nerdy I guess. Yes I'm incredibly nerdy, I'm that guy who loves anime, electronic music, scifi movies, and into subjects like software development, history, biology, and astronomy, and no I do not feel bad for being a nerd that's just who I am. I had one black girl even tell me she doesn't even consider me as black, because I do not "act black enough".
SmileFace Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 I won't say my race effects my dating in general but where I live does. When I leave my town - I have no problem attracting guys. Living in my town as a black female and not living on a campus - I might as well be invisible.
InJest Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 I'm half Black/half Asian, and while you can tell I'm mixed, I look predominantly black. I too am a huge nerd, and I love all the subjects you mentioned. I'm a computer engineer for a living. Unless I'm trying to bait a dumb college girl with my occupation/salary, my job isn't very interesting to someone not in the field, and there aren't many women to speak of in it. I grew up in an upper class, predominantly white area, and I even sound "white". Don't know when sounding articulate or intelligent became synonymous with white, but at some point I suppose it did. There are black girls that have dropped me because of that, and as I've said a few times on here, black girls are the hardest for me to get a date with. I've dated black girls, but mostly white and Asian, with a several Hispanic women in there too. It's not for lack of trying, but it is what it is. Anyway, you have to branch out, into things that are fun and include other people. Being intelligent is a huge plus with women, and as I've told you previously, making women think is one of the easiest ways to hook them. What do you do for fun? 3
Author Necris Posted October 31, 2012 Author Posted October 31, 2012 Anyway, you have to branch out, into things that are fun and include other people. Being intelligent is a huge plus with women, and as I've told you previously, making women think is one of the easiest ways to hook them. What do you do for fun? Personally I find that women do not find intelligence sexy in the slightest, but if you're already naturally charismatic it could function as a boost to your attractiveness but if you're uncharismatic yet intelligent you are not sexy at all but you could find yourself in the friendzone as they may see you as useful in someway, but not dateable. As for what I do for fun, I play videogames or sometimes mod videogames, surf the web, hang out with friends, watch movies, read (usually non-fiction, scifi and some fantasy), and I do sometimes go hiking, bike riding, and weight lifting
ThaWholigan Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 Personally I find that women do not find intelligence sexy in the slightest, but if you're already naturally charismatic it could function as a boost to your attractiveness but if you're uncharismatic yet intelligent you are not sexy at all but you could find yourself in the friendzone as they may see you as useful in someway, but not dateable. As for what I do for fun, I play videogames or sometimes mod videogames, surf the web, hang out with friends, watch movies, read (usually non-fiction, scifi and some fantasy), and I do sometimes go hiking, bike riding, and weight lifting You need to talk to more girls. I can't see you so I can only speculate, but there are probably things you do that are unattractive behaviors that you could easily fix.
kaylan Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 Everything a person is, affects their dating life. Height, age, weight, race, sex, religion, etc. It is what it is. Some girls love dating black men. Some girls wouldnt even give it a thought. Others are indifferent to a guys race and open to whoever makes them feel good. And other girls are iffy about it but need the right push with the right guy. It all depends. In my experience, there are more than enough girls non-black women out there who are open to dating black men. So there is no need for me to care about this race thing too much if I date outside my race. I tend to associate with people who dont get too caught up in race. With the women Ive been meeting lately, its really about putting yourself in the right environment. I know a lot of cool open minded ladies. But thats New York for ya.
olivec Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 reality is if your a black man you have to carry the sterotype around with you and soo many women buy into it because its what the media like rap videos movies portray. I've dealt with it soo many times. Alot of women want black men for sex period. However when it comes to a relationship its the white guy they'll go for to have a real relationship with. Because of thats its very difficult for a educated black man to find a relationship when all these women see you as a sexual fantasy.
Author Necris Posted October 31, 2012 Author Posted October 31, 2012 (edited) You need to talk to more girls. I can't see you so I can only speculate, but there are probably things you do that are unattractive behaviors that you could easily fix. Being smart but also nerdy and somewhat socially awkward without a stellar appearance to make up for it just isn't sexy. I can be friends with women and can be a quite likeable person to be around, but I'm incapable of getting women to feel that primal attraction, they simply do not feel that way about me. Also in my case most of the women I talk to and around are white mainly due to social circle and the fact they are by far the most common so this could be an issue as well, and with asians they don't seem to like me at all. And being nerdy doesn't help with Black women as alot of them seem to expect me to "act/talk Black". Now I do try to talk to more girls so to help myself I do talk to random women that I meet but without the intent to date them just to talk making approaching easier and rejection not feel heavy but I've never gotten results, oh well. Anyway on subject, how do you feel about the role race has in dating? Edited October 31, 2012 by Necris
ThaWholigan Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 Being smart but also nerdy and somewhat socially awkward without a stellar appearance to make up for it just isn't sexy. I can be friends with women and can be a quite likeable person to be around, but I'm incapable of getting women to feel that primal attraction, they simply do not feel that way about me. Also in my case most of the women I talk to and around are white mainly due to social circle and the fact they are by far the most common so this could be an issue as well, and with asians they don't seem to like me at all. And being nerdy doesn't help with Black women as alot of them seem to expect me to "act/talk Black". Now I do try to talk to more girls so to help myself I do talk to random women that I meet but without the intent to date them just to talk making approaching easier and rejection not feel heavy but I've never gotten results, oh well. Anyway on subject, how do you feel about the role race has in dating? I feel apathetic. I like black girls predominantly, but I have been attracted to a lot of white girls, asian girls, oriental girls, latinas, Mediterranean, Middle Eastern etc. Not to mention girls mixed with some of each race. I think that race only plays a role to those who are nationalistic in their pride for their racial identity. I come from a very pro-black family, so I know first hand that race can be very important when it comes to forwarding the bloodline to some people, as well as the preservation of ones racial identity. I am in 2 minds, because of my pro-black background I take all of this into account, but when it comes to who I want to be with and who I want to have children with, race is not going to be the biggest factor in the world. It's more complicated than that. 1
Hawaii50 Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 I noticed recently we have had alot of race threads on Loveshack Yeah, I wonder who keeps doing that.. making race-threads and all.
mesmerized Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 I feel apathetic. I like black girls predominantly, but I have been attracted to a lot of white girls, asian girls, oriental girls, latinas, Mediterranean, Middle Eastern etc. Not to mention girls mixed with some of each race. I think that race only plays a role to those who are nationalistic in their pride for their racial identity. I come from a very pro-black family, so I know first hand that race can be very important when it comes to forwarding the bloodline to some people, as well as the preservation of ones racial identity. I am in 2 minds, because of my pro-black background I take all of this into account, but when it comes to who I want to be with and who I want to have children with, race is not going to be the biggest factor in the world. It's more complicated than that. Is the stereotype true that black women get mad if you hit on a black man? A few weeks ago I was at a club and there was this gorgeous black guy surrounded by black women. It didn't look like he was dating any of them and i would probably find a way to just talk to him if he wasn't around other women. When it comes to race, I actually see the most hostility towards black people. Men of other races also seem to have a hidden inferiority complex towards black men, its funny and annoying. Yet, it seems like (as you can see on loveshack too), they are the least insecure whiny ethnic men, in fact they are the total opposite.
Hawaii50 Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 I've personally heard black women trash talk black men for diggin' on/in white women. They almost consider it treasonous, or just a "phase." Haven't heard anything 180 though. but 180-180, white guys are definitely insecure about losing a white girl to a black guy to a very racist extent. Wholigan, I think I read you once, mention you family at first would be pretty skeptical/judgmental is you brought a snowflake (my buddy calls 'em that, I call him white-girl slayer) home. My family is basically the same way... but in the end they wouldn't care as long as I'm happy. Extended family, probably less considerate/intelligent about the whole situation. doesn't matter what race.. just takes a good woman. I have my ideals >evil laugh< 1
xdahliax Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 Is the stereotype true that black women get mad if you hit on a black man? A few weeks ago I was at a club and there was this gorgeous black guy surrounded by black women. It didn't look like he was dating any of them and i would probably find a way to just talk to him if he wasn't around other women. Some do. It might also depend on if one of the girls likes the guy... 1
mesmerized Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 doesn't matter what race.. just takes a good woman. I have my ideals >evil laugh< Like big boobsies? 1
ThaWholigan Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 Is the stereotype true that black women get mad if you hit on a black man? A few weeks ago I was at a club and there was this gorgeous black guy surrounded by black women. It didn't look like he was dating any of them and i would probably find a way to just talk to him if he wasn't around other women. Quite a few do, but most others don't care. The ones that do are the ones who are staunch in their idea that their men are being stolen. Or at least they are worried about the "good ones". But I do see a lot of women get mad. My mum gets a bit upset about it, but that's been compounded by the fact that my stepfather left to be with a white woman. The ones that don't care are usually open to dating white guys or guys of another race, even if they don't actually do so. When it comes to race, I actually see the most hostility towards black people. Men of other races also seem to have a hidden inferiority complex towards black men, its funny and annoying. Yet, it seems like (as you can see on loveshack too), they are the least insecure whiny ethnic men, in fact they are the total opposite. As a black man, I can honestly say that you can't afford to be whiny about it .
ThaWholigan Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 I've personally heard black women trash talk black men for diggin' on/in white women. They almost consider it treasonous, or just a "phase." Haven't heard anything 180 though. but 180-180, white guys are definitely insecure about losing a white girl to a black guy to a very racist extent. These days, I find that white guys are apathetic to the idea, but that is because they are usually open to dating black women, especially since the popularity of certain black actresses in England. Antonia Thomas springs to mind in short notice. Wholigan, I think I read you once, mention you family at first would be pretty skeptical/judgmental is you brought a snowflake (my buddy calls 'em that, I call him white-girl slayer) home. My family is basically the same way... but in the end they wouldn't care as long as I'm happy. Extended family, probably less considerate/intelligent about the whole situation. Only my mother would, my dad would probably not be that bothered. My brothers have all dated white girls except one of them. I did let slip that I slept with an Indian girl but my mother didn't seem bothered at all, so I'm guessing it's just a white thing. I did say to her that it is my prerogative if I end up dating a white girl - they seem to like me more than others anyway . doesn't matter what race.. just takes a good woman. I have my ideals >evil laugh< INDEED MUAHAHAHA
InJest Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Necris, you say no girls are attracted to you, but I've never heard a story of you trying to push things an failing. Have you ever actually made a move on any of the girls you went on dates with?
joystickd Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 reality is if your a black man you have to carry the sterotype around with you and soo many women buy into it because its what the media like rap videos movies portray. I've dealt with it soo many times. Alot of women want black men for sex period. However when it comes to a relationship its the white guy they'll go for to have a real relationship with. Because of thats its very difficult for a educated black man to find a relationship when all these women see you as a sexual fantasy. I have never found this a problem. I experienced black women that rejected me because I wasn't the stereotype. All of the women I have dated were outside my race. I have never dated a black woman and it's not because I haven't tried. My attempts to date my own race is the reason it took so long for me to find success in dating.
Author Necris Posted November 1, 2012 Author Posted November 1, 2012 Necris, you say no girls are attracted to you, but I've never heard a story of you trying to push things an failing. Have you ever actually made a move on any of the girls you went on dates with? Dates for me are very rare, and when I do get a date I never get more than 2 with the same woman. And you are right I don't tend to push things, also what do you mean by push things? Besides a first date isn't really the time to be making "moves" but rather get to know the person.
ThaWholigan Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Dates for me are very rare, and when I do get a date I never get more than 2 with the same woman. And you are right I don't tend to push things, also what do you mean by push things? Besides a first date isn't really the time to be making "moves" but rather get to know the person. Are you uncomfortable around girls? Honest question.
Author Necris Posted November 1, 2012 Author Posted November 1, 2012 Are you uncomfortable around girls? Honest question. It depends on the situation, I'm ordinarily comfortable speaking to girls and such, but I'm uncomfortable touching or kissing (never actually did this before) girls.
ThaWholigan Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 It depends on the situation, I'm ordinarily comfortable speaking to girls and such, but I'm uncomfortable touching or kissing (never actually did this before) girls. That's probably why you come across friendly but probably mess things up past that point. It's OK, it happens. But you have to be a bit more bold with the "uncomfortable" stuff.
dasein Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 To answer the thread question, today race doesn't really affect my dating... mainly because I'm not actively dating. In the past, living in other places, got to date women of all races and ethnicities (am white), but race itself never was an issue in the dating/relationships. I will say that black women seem to find me more innately attractive than women of other races based on approach success/failure out and about. No idea why.
Author Necris Posted November 1, 2012 Author Posted November 1, 2012 That's probably why you come across friendly but probably mess things up past that point. It's OK, it happens. But you have to be a bit more bold with the "uncomfortable" stuff. I'm just not the type of guy to randomly slap a girl's butt, rub on her thighs, or pull out random kisses and such. That's not me, I try to be more of a gentleman. Besides if she's not giving any signals you risk actually offending her instead of making her pleased with your actions, and I have a hard enough time just getting a date as it is so I try not to mess it up.
GirlontheLam Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Well let's see, it totally impacts me in some ways. I am a bubbly semi-nerdy black woman. I work in tech, I have a bunch of diverse friends, and I even have some "hipster" interests. I dress preppy (Michelle Obama and Kate Middleton are my fashion icons). I work in a field with few black faces. I basically get hit on by the following: 1. Brown guys (Arabs, Filipinos, Mexicans, Indians....) 2. Hipster white guys 3. Too young or too old black guys 4. black men my age who are still sagging their pants. That's an automatic no. I am fairly open in who I am interested in. Common interests and diverse friends are pretty much number one on my list. But if I had to pick a preference, I'd put a social nerdy black guy at the top of the list over the other choices. And guess what, apparently these guys are hard to find.
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