andyournameis Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 (edited) I'm back again and I'm afraid to say I broke up with my boyfriend again after 5 weeks being back together, but this time I think it's over for good.... He asked me to get back together with him the second time round knowing I have family issues...We have an amazing connection and friendship, we never have a cross word with each other but the second time we got back together I felt that he was keeping me at a distance he was afraid to get close to me again, I know him so well I picked up on this straight away.. i asked him about it and he said to give him time, so i did for another 3 weeks, but I felt the closeness we used to have was gone..So it was my birthday we met for lunch as he was working that night, he gave me a lovely present but yet I still couldn't put my finger on it but something was wrong... Then I rang him that evening and just explained how I love him but something is missing and he said yes your right and he told me what it was ... He is a police officer and my family (who I do not speak to) are in trouble with the law (he knows I wouldn't dream being associate with that) and he is so scared that he will have a run in with them some day, he knew about this the second time we got back together... he just said why don't we just take different paths for a while and see if we get back together in the future I know what he means by this is if I'm still not talking to my family maybe he might come back... may I add I didn't stop talking to my family over him it was over alot of different things I never want to look or speak to them again... then he went on to say but we get on so well, its so good,I felt he was trying to back track a bit... I said I know but I cannot wait around for you to text or ring its unfair cause I love you... then he said we were ment to move into together and look at us now we are broken!!! I must say we had a lovely breakup conversation (mental I know) but that's how well we get on, laughing and joking but the end of it..... So back to NC ... I know in heart that this is it, it's over for good but the hardest thing is none of us have done anything wrong, its just I have some family baggage... it's so unfair,I'm upset, Do you think he just used that as an excuse... I just want a point of view?? Is it over for good??? Any advice Anyone, I just want to know the truth am I wasting my time carrying a torch for this man????? Edited October 31, 2012 by andyournameis
flitzanu Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 it sounds pretty much like there's way too much drama involved to ever have a stable happy relationship.
River Rain Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 I would have trust issues, only because you mention that he asked you to get back together and then he changed his mind on you. I recently got back with my ex (just last Friday), although we seem okay, there is still a little voice in the back of my head that is warning me that he'll do the same thing...change his mind and want to break up again. If that happened, the torch would definitely be out.
hurt_burst Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 I personally think.. being a police officer this law issue will keep coming up again and again. Its very tough to get around that because he might have a feeling that it would effect his job, his credibility at work , he wont be able to open with his friends or maybe whatever. I think you have give good many number of tries to this. Well if that person is not in frame of mind to come to terms he will go back again to breaking up if you pull him in. I think instead of trying to get him back i think you should try to get over him by trying to have fun somewhere else.. watch funny videos, comedy tv, go out with friends, try all the lame things.. untill you get him out of your system. Treat it as a tough test which requires a lot of patience. I think he will stick around only if he decides to comeback himself otherwise he will just take off again.
Author andyournameis Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 So I texted him on Saturday to say...miss ya & love ta,Did we give up on us too quickly? He texted back.. Maybe only time will tell I do think we need space from each other!!!!! ... I didn't answer after that back to no contact until tonite he just phoned we chatted and laughed on the phone for 30 mins asking each other what we have gotten up for the last couple of days... We just said goodbye chat soon... Now I'm really confused he asked for space then he rings??? What do I do now please help? Any advice boys???
flitzanu Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 So I texted him on Saturday to say...miss ya & love ta,Did we give up on us too quickly? He texted back.. Maybe only time will tell I do think we need space from each other!!!!! ... I didn't answer after that back to no contact until tonite he just phoned we chatted and laughed on the phone for 30 mins asking each other what we have gotten up for the last couple of days... We just said goodbye chat soon... Now I'm really confused he asked for space then he rings??? What do I do now please help? Any advice boys??? "i want space" = "i want to bang other people".
Mcnulty Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 You don't speak to your family, so they have no impact on your relatiionship. Has he got a pair of balls?!? It's an excuse, he's citing something v. vague. Go complete NC now. He's ringing to check up on you. Flitz is right by the way, he's keeping his options open while pissing on your parade.
Author andyournameis Posted November 15, 2012 Author Posted November 15, 2012 Hey Guys, I know you all are right... Went NC since his phone call 11 days ago... I have done everything you all have told me to do..and THANK YOU I'm having such a bad day, But why am I so stupid and wishing that each day he will ring again?....Why do I keep watching my phone?... I know now it was a guilty phone call he made to make himself feel better... I just need a bit of pick me up from you guys if i'm really being honest.... Sorry I just want this horrible feeling I have just to pass... I'm doing everything by the book, meeting friends,I'm a club, going for walks with friends, I'm busy all the time.. Haven't made it back into the pub scene yet, I'm scared to cause If do I might get drunk and I might ring him,(I DO NOT WANT TO HAPPEN) so at the moment I'm avoiding the pubs at all costs.. Is it normal to be thinking of this morning,noon and night?? I'm just:confused::confused so tired from it all... Any advice....PLEASE
flitzanu Posted November 15, 2012 Posted November 15, 2012 well yeah it's normal to be obsessed with someone when emotions are high. every time you make contact you're starting over. it's like smoking or drinking and trying to quit. the longer you go without contact, the smoother it gets. the early times are the hardest though.
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