chinainn Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 hi all, I am back again with a different situation. I ve been attracting wrong people for some reason. I ve been seeing this girl for 1.5 months, she is 24. I am 27. We met on an online dating site and seem to hit it off. We had been interacting over phone, gchat initially and we started spending hours on the phone. I feel she is very nice, warm and a caring person, but she is highly emotional and moody at times. We finally met one evening for a coffee and we ended up spending the whole evening together going to a haunted forest for Halloween. There was a lot of kino. We were chatting, sexting, flirting a lot on the days that lead us to the second date. We watched a movie,,there was a lot of intimacy and we both had great chemistry. After movie, we went for drinks and dinner. It was all good. She was all into me..and there was sexual tension always. She dressed to impress me on both the dates. She sent me pictures of her and stored my texts to her which she thought was cute.. She even offered to come and help me with my apt hunting as I was in the process of moving. She offered to come visit and cook for me. I was happy, but I was hesitant not sure how fast this is going. We had discussed initially, that we will take this slow, and that neither of us were in any rush. We had no discussion of closing our onlline profiles. Later, the next week, we were chatting and I was doing work. I have a shortcut to the dating site on my browser. After I said, bye to her I clicked on the shortcut to check my profile quickly, I do that when I get notification to my email. I was not talking to anyone else during this time. I continued to do my work. Later when I pinged her to talk, she started accusing me of "Lying to her" and that "she hates liars' I was confused and asked for more clarification, for which she refused to say anything and just said "don't ever lie to me". I was so confused, and I called her, she stopped picking up my calls and stopped replying to me. After a couple of days, she still does not take my calls, but she pinged me back saying she has become active on the online dating site again and has started talking to other people and that "she needs space" and I am not respecting that. She said that she now wants to take it slow and that she takes a few steps back. She replies in a rude manner saying she is busy with work. When I asked if we were fine and things were ok, she says she does not want to talk to me and if I keep texting or calling her it will be a breach of her space and that this thing will be over. She is now unsure about taking this forward. I told her I respect her space and just need some answer, because of sudden turn of events from one extreme to other in a couple of days, for no fault of mine. I said I will not bother her and that will wait if she wants to get back. I feel she is acting childish and over reacting. What should I do? I feel manipulated, should I just give up and let her go? I am afraid I might have developed feelings for her.
TigerCub Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 I don't know if she's manipulative. She's moody and childish - that's for sure. I think you should find another girl. This one is insecure and a lil crazy. I mean even if she thought you were lying about something, she should have confronted you about it in a mature way and listened to what you had to say before doing the rest of this hoopla. Don't waste your time, and don't chase after her and honestly, don't take her back if she decides to "give you another chance":rolleyes: that will only encourage and reward her bad behavior. 1
Author chinainn Posted November 2, 2012 Author Posted November 2, 2012 It's getting worse. I stopped calling her, just sending a couple of texts. i asked her out again to talk to face to face about what the issue is. she now says that I do not respect her needs/wants and that she cannot be with a person like that. and that "she is not the girl for me". I asked her to talk about what the exact issue is and to talk it face to face. she refuses to do so and finally says its not "the online profile thing" but "a lot of small things that added up". I do not know how she got there. It is difficult to understand when she does not want to talk. what do I do now? She is extremes, she is super nice during good times and acts this way when she is in a bad mood. So what should I do? I am willing to give her time. I am not sure how much time I should and what should I or should not do. I know this is a lost cause, but how should I deal with it if I want to give her time and talk to her later when she has calmed down. Any tips?
River Rain Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 Yeah, that's immature behaviour. She's accusing you of something that she refuses to back up or talk about. I would move on because this could become a pattern down the line. Don't need the drama! 1
dasein Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 Just move on, bullet dodged. Either a) she got unreasonably peeved that she saw you logged into the dating service after your -two- dates or b) she has met other options she favors and is the one being dishonest. Either way, stop all contact and just move on to the next option. Next time, once you have a date, consider limiting all early contact to asking out for the next date until you have at least five or so dates under your belt. Even after two dates, she is a stranger, all the back and forth too early contact creates false intimacy and a false sense of who the other person really is. Limit all contact with new women to asking out and do all your getting to know in person on dates. Will keep you sane, avoid situations like this in the future, and ironically, builds anticipation and attraction in them to boot while keeping you from arriving at false conclusions about your own or her interest. Good luck.
sweetkiwi Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 weird. Ignore this woman. She's asking you to stop contacting her. Its for your own good.
Under The Radar Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 You dodged a bullet is exactly right! Though it sucks, because you like her, be happy this inappropriate behavior is being exhibited now. Could you imagine actually falling in love with this girl and spending a few years in a relationship under these conditions? Thank goodness the red flags are being exposed early on before this could happen; yes, these are HUGE red flags. You have done nothing wrong, but if you did, this is her way of healthy communication? She is incredibly immature, childish, and manipulative. My advice is to go no contact and move on. If you continue interacting with this woman things will only get worse.
NiceGuyDTW Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 She sounds like my ex-wife. NOTE I SAID EX-WIFE....RUN!!
Recommended Posts