Jenjo82 Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 I've been daring this guy for the last month, he's 38 and I'm 30. We met online and things were going great we communicated in some form or another everyday, we went out a few times and he even cooked me dinner! He owns his own business and has 2 kids that live with him full time, so he's a pretty busy guy. I hadn't heard anything from him for a few days and so I basically told him it made me feel like he didn't want to talk to me anymore. The next morning I got a text saying that he was sorry and it had just been an extra busy week and he didn't mean to make me feel that way, then NOTHING! I did respond honestly and tell him that I understood and just to let me know you're super busy and I won't bug you. He hasn't said anything to me in a week we were supposed to go out and celebrate Halloween last Saturday but like I said nothing from him at all. Should I wait it out or what, he deleted his profile from the dating site we met on after our 3rd date I thought things were moving in the right direction, now I don't know what to think!
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 Sorry to say, but he is doing "the fade". He probably deleted his profile for other reasons. Perhaps he has met someone else or just decided to drop it for whatever reason.
Blondishdaisy Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 Hey darl, it's sux I know n I've had this happen to me quite a few times and its always with the ones I'm keen on , I agree wit the above post, if he was keen he wouldn't go so long without contacting u and he obviously felt bad that's why he replied to ur MSG but it sounds like he's seeing someone else, or he's just not that into u, I would be very weary of online dating sites as I have used them heaps and the men seem like they have a few on the go, like we are just a number , don't get me wrong there would be some good ones on there but it would take a while to sift through the crap, in the meantime move on an remember its his loss good luck 1
River Rain Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 That happened to me a while back. Was talking daily to this guy I met online dating. Then six days went by with no contact from him, so I basically gave it up. He did reply to me he was sorry, but that he was very busy and wished he had more time to get to know me. I suspect that he was getting to know other girls and was keeping me on the back burner. I'll never know for sure, I mean, he could have been legitimately too busy to take three minutes of each day or so to just say hello......but if he were telling the truth and really didn't have three minutes each day/other day for me...I decided I didn't want to get involved further. Instead of trying to figure out what's going on his his mind, why don't you assess as to whether you want to continue getting to know a person who doesn't seem to have much time for you. 3
Author Jenjo82 Posted October 31, 2012 Author Posted October 31, 2012 I have never had this happen to me before so it's pretty confusing, I don't usually do the online dating thing and I thought he was a really great guy. I'm moving on though, at least I got some good food out of it, lol!
olivec Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 I have never had this happen to me before so it's pretty confusing, I don't usually do the online dating thing and I thought he was a really great guy. I'm moving on though, at least I got some good food out of it, lol! Your doing the right thing. I recently went through the same thing with this girl I was dating. I met her on match.com. Things were awesome really great chemesitry and it seemed like neither of us were rushing things either. Anyway last date we were on theres was some confusion on where we were gunna meet up and what time. We got everything figured out and went on our date. I thought everything was fine she seemed cheerfull and we even kissed at the end of the night no weird body language. So i txt her the next day and i got one response back that was it. Then i did hear from her for an entire week. So i txt her just seeing how she was nothing no response. Then i went about a day after and get right to the point ask her whats wrong. She gave me the i'm soo busy line and i'm a awesome guy but she just wants to be friends. I Honestly was shocked and confused but i have my pride and told her thats fine tks for being honest and proceded to delete the number. It looks like your gunna have to do the same. If a person doesnt want ya thats their lost. Just move on even if it sucks some time. Plus i know since i'm in my 30s also how frustrating dating has now become. I never felt this way in my 20s. 1
todreaminblue Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 I have never had this happen to me before so it's pretty confusing, I don't usually do the online dating thing and I thought he was a really great guy. I'm moving on though, at least I got some good food out of it, lol! Online dating is a minefield of confusion.I met maybe one or two nice guys when i say met i mean chatted to online....i chatted to a lot of players and i played along ........i wasnt serious its hard to be serious online guys either tell you want to hear so get you into bed online is like a meat market for really lonely girls(this makes me angry fro the girls) and they tend to hedge their best by going for quantity not quality.......seriously reality is you meet people who mean something in your everyday li8fe.....it might be someone you walk past everyday or someone you run into at the shops or at a service station....or at church or some group you belong too you get to see real people in an everyday situation online to me is virtual........it could be virtually good...i know people meet partners on dating sites.......get married and have a football team....but with me being me...i have to get to know someone and see their depth and their character with how they are with other people.....i like to know someone without them knowing i am attracted to them see them for who they are, sometimes ill kamikaze myself and tell them if i feel a strong enough attraction to want to know them further, but i have only met long term partners in real life,not online, i like real action not typing action, i have met some interesting people online lol not in person but talked to people from different cultures and walks of life.....online its too easy to be fooled ,content mostly turns sexual very quickly and these are the players....you can play along........i used to.....i dont anymore .......i met two guys online offline when i shouldnt have been dating they are now filed in lessons learnt..i stopped dating then i realised i was not good or stable......i wish you luck.....and hope you find everything you are looking for in a kind and compassionate man......deb 1
Author Jenjo82 Posted October 31, 2012 Author Posted October 31, 2012 Online dating is a minefield of confusion.I met maybe one or two nice guys when i say met i mean chatted to online....i chatted to a lot of players and i played along ........i wasnt serious its hard to be serious online guys either tell you want to hear so get you into bed online is like a meat market for really lonely girls(this makes me angry fro the girls) and they tend to hedge their best by going for quantity not quality.......seriously reality is you meet people who mean something in your everyday li8fe.....it might be someone you walk past everyday or someone you run into at the shops or at a service station....or at church or some group you belong too you get to see real people in an everyday situation online to me is virtual........it could be virtually good...i know people meet partners on dating sites.......get married and have a football team....but with me being me...i have to get to know someone and see their depth and their character with how they are with other people.....i like to know someone without them knowing i am attracted to them see them for who they are, sometimes ill kamikaze myself and tell them if i feel a strong enough attraction to want to know them further, but i have only met long term partners in real life,not online, i like real action not typing action, i have met some interesting people online lol not in person but talked to people from different cultures and walks of life.....online its too easy to be fooled ,content mostly turns sexual very quickly and these are the players....you can play along........i used to.....i dont anymore .......i met two guys online offline when i shouldnt have been dating they are now filed in lessons learnt..i stopped dating then i realised i was not good or stable......i wish you luck.....and hope you find everything you are looking for in a kind and compassionate man......deb Thanks Deb, I took 2 years off from dating to better myself and be sure I could really find what I was looking for and well parts of him were what I really do want in a man but the rest I could do without!
mortensorchid Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Others beat me to it, he's doing "the fade" and that's what he did. Sorry to hear, but you should move on. And that's all you get out of OLD more or less, food or coffee or drinks.
Author Jenjo82 Posted November 1, 2012 Author Posted November 1, 2012 Others beat me to it, he's doing "the fade" and that's what he did. Sorry to hear, but you should move on. And that's all you get out of OLD more or less, food or coffee or drinks. What is this "fade"? And we did more than just eat or drink, lol
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 This is more common in online dating. People get less attached, have more options. Multi-dating more than even 2 people is the norm. I wouldn't really take it seriously unless you have commitment to exclusivity and few solid months under your belt.
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 What is this "fade"? And we did more than just eat or drink, lol Fade is when someone is too chicken to end it with you in person or via message. Instead they just avoid you and never talk to you again. After x days, you get the hint. Lame.
veggirl Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 What is this "fade"? And we did more than just eat or drink, lol Did he set up another date with you after you had sex?
MrWombat Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 What is this "fade"? And we did more than just eat or drink, lol Yeah, we kinda worked that out. At least I did. What's the mystery? As far as he is concerned, its "doesn't matter - had sex". Move on, girl.
Author Jenjo82 Posted November 1, 2012 Author Posted November 1, 2012 Did he set up another date with you after you had sex? Yep we even continued talking everyday, and then something happened with one of his girls and he had to cancel. We talked that night and planned for brunch the next day, but that was when things went down hill and I stopped hearing from him....
mortensorchid Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 "The Fade" is when they come up with excuses as to how or why they are not seeing, calling or texting you. Then they have you panting like a dog wondering what is wrong, and then they completely go *poof* on you. That's what a Fade is.
jefermelesyeux Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 Yep we even continued talking everyday, and then something happened with one of his girls and he had to cancel. We talked that night and planned for brunch the next day, but that was when things went down hill and I stopped hearing from him.... guys are such asshats, my friend. i am in the same situation as we speak. things were going greatly and then abruptly, he stopped texting me back. i wish guys would be more logical. there's nothing "nice" about leading someone on. (in other words, some people suggest they just tell you what you want to hear to be nice...forget that.) i would tell you to move on, but i can't even take that advice myself. sometimes though, **** gets lost in the mix. you may hear from him in a few days, a week, maybe even later today. who knows? try to keep your spirits up, but be cautious, and prepare to move on if necessary.
Author Jenjo82 Posted November 4, 2012 Author Posted November 4, 2012 guys are such asshats, my friend. i am in the same situation as we speak. things were going greatly and then abruptly, he stopped texting me back. i wish guys would be more logical. there's nothing "nice" about leading someone on. (in other words, some people suggest they just tell you what you want to hear to be nice...forget that.) i would tell you to move on, but i can't even take that advice myself. sometimes though, **** gets lost in the mix. you may hear from him in a few days, a week, maybe even later today. who knows? try to keep your spirits up, but be cautious, and prepare to move on if necessary. Yeah it's been almost 2 weeks since I heard from him, I'm movin on. I did however pointless it may seem, give him a piece of my mind, I doubt I'll hear back. I'm sorry you're going through it too and men are complete asshats! 1
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