PyroBunny Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 Hi all! Little background: I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now. We are more than happy together. He was married and got divorced 2 years ago and has a son from that marraige. My issue comes in that since we started dating, his ex wife is either phoning me late at night, sending me messages or writing mean, negative things in response to my statusses on WhatsApp (that free Mxit type chat program. I blocked her on it but we can still see each other's statusses). She even went so far as contacting my parents in the beginning of our relationship and telling them lies about my boyfriend. This caused major problems in the beginning but things are now better and my parents have accepted him. People who have been in situations like this, how do you deal with this? Do you just ignore it? It is just so annoying! She even at random times phones my boyfriend (when she is drunk) and asks him to go out with her to a bar. Or she sends a message to him saying things like 'What did I do so wrong? Are my tits too small, do I wear too much make up? Because she (me) is not even half a match like I was!' My boyfriends just ignores it or puts the phone down in her ear. I just get so frustrated sometimes and she loves making his life hell with his son. Oh, and she is also in a relationship with a man for over a year and a half now. So it's not like she is alone. Thanks!
phineas Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 It's up to your BF to tell her to STFU! I havn't been in a serious relationship since we split but if I do get into one & she acts this way i'll tell my GF to file a restraining order. Nothing would help me more than my ex-wife violating a restraining order on my GF when it comes to custody issues. Now my ex-wife was cheating & when given a choice took the other man. Fine. well she still lived in town & EVERY time I had a woman over at my house she would call with some BS about the kids. EVERY TIME! On more than one occasion i was on my back porch & saw her drive by corner near my house. Presumably looking to see if I had someone over. LOL! 1
veggirl Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 How did she get your phone number? And your parents number? I can't imagine how you even got passed the beginning stages with this s.hit going on, I would have bailed. I agree with Phineas, it is your boyfriends job to get her off your back. 1
Author PyroBunny Posted November 1, 2012 Author Posted November 1, 2012 Thanks for the replies so far. How she got my number: Both me and my boyfriend work for the same company (a very big company) and the ex wife has a few friends in the HR department. My number is available on the mailing list so she probably got one of her friends to give it to her. How she got my parent's number I don't know, I assume they dug in my personal work file as I have my parent's number up as an emergency contact. Creepy I know! It was extremely hard in the beginning of our relationship but when I got to know my bf before we started dating there was an instant connection and we get along great. So I stuck it out and I feel everything has actually made us stronger together as a couple. But yeah, the ex wife has her friends at work spy on him, she knows when we go to visit friends, when we go away for weekends etc. So she is basically stalking us. And I'm not being overdramatic here, she is really making his life hell. She refuses to let him see his son on the planned weekends (always has excuses why he can't come over), she belittles him in messages and even on occasion sends his mother messages telling her how poorly she has raised her son. So I can only make the assumption that this woman is mentally unstable. And I wonder if her boyfriend even knows what she gets up to? My boyfriend does tell her to leave us alone and to stop sending messages, but she just ignores it. She lives semi-close to where we life (with her boyfriend) and I would not be surprised if she also drives past our house to see whats going on. I honestly never imagined you could get people that are so f#cked up - even 2 years down the line!!!
phineas Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 As a divorced man with kids I will say, If she is going against visitation agreement then the father needs to tell the family court. She cannot legally pull that crap. Period. Also, your BF sounds like a big pussy. Seriously, he's divorced, he doesn't have to put up with that crap & legally she can't keep him from his kids. He needs to document EVERYTHING including your phone records of her calling you & take it to family court. also, get a restraining order on her. She can't even drive by your BF's house if you are there.
dasein Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 Agree with phineas and veggirl, your BF should step up and see this stops.
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