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Do women like jerks?..yes, as long as they're good looking.

moloko99

By moloko99
in General Relationship Discussion

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moloko99 New Member

moloko99

Posted
Posted

Hello, just throwing a question/comment about casual relationships.

I was at a usual casual get together with some of my friends who invited some girls at a local brewery. After a couple of beers everybody starts joking around as always, and some of the guys start spurting out all these foul sexual comments and remarks in front of the girls (not to be vulgar, but some of the comments involved certain urban terms in oral sex, violent sexual positions and some other xxx rated stuff I should not be allowed to write in this forum).

I couldn't help but noticing that the girls couldn't stop laughing!. So as the night progresses, I end up talking to one of the girls. By this point I figured out that after she had a very illustrative lecture by one of my friends on what a "donkey punch" is, I am fairly safe at saying a casual joke. SO I made a joking remark on one of the server's bra color (she was wearing a white bra, with a black see thru shirt, I mean Come on!). That's it!. No explicit sexual content, nothing at all. When I came back with some more drinks from the bar, I noticed some of the girls are gone, including the one that I was talking to. After a couple of days we were reminiscing about the party, and one of my friends told me that the girl actually left because she thought I was "creepy" with my "sexual comments".

Are girls really that hypocritical??????!!!!!!. So basically if you are a good looking guy, you can narrate a hardcore porn film and the girls will be all laugh and giggles, but I have to keep my mouth shut because if you're not an attractive guy, you look "creepy" or regarded as a "perv".

 

Has anybody noticed any similar patterns?

 

Thank you.

GirlontheLam Established Member

GirlontheLam

Posted
Posted

The other people were talking about general stuff. More locker room humor. Sex positions is explicit, but can be neutral if no one is talking about personal experiences.

 

You were talking about a specific girl.

 

Your comment implied you were checking her out. As you noticed her bra.

 

Moral of the story, don't mention other women when talking to one.

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TigerCub Established Member

TigerCub

Posted
Posted

^^^^^ That,

 

Also, when I first heard about Donkey Punch, Dirty Sanchez, Spider Man and all that, I found it so funny and the guy telling it wasn't attractive to me in that way - what he was saying was funny and it was in a "general" way.

 

You - what you said wasn't even funny, you just pointed out that a specific girl was wearing a shirt that made it easy for you to see her bra (at least that's what I got from what you summarized in your OP).

  • Like 1
carhill Established Member

carhill

Posted
Posted

OP, the short answer (to the thread title) is yes. One merely needs to peruse these forums and observe in real life, though hopefully not to the extent that I did for many years.

 

The longer answer is, if you're not good looking, you don't get nearly the latitude on what 'acceptable' is. That's how life works, in love, work, and social relations. Welcome to the real world. Good luck.

serial muse Established Member

serial muse

Posted
Posted (edited)
The other people were talking about general stuff. More locker room humor. Sex positions is explicit, but can be neutral if no one is talking about personal experiences.

 

You were talking about a specific girl.

 

Yeah, I was thinking this exact thing. I honestly think a LOT of guys don't recognize this rather key difference, so this is a teachable moment. :) I don't necessarily think it was so much about talking about another girl rather than the one you're with...I think this is a more general point. The key here is that the dreaded "that's creepy" often rears its head at the precise moment when you go from the general to the specific. Commenting in the abstract, even about a sexual act, is really different from making a specific personal comment. So, keep that in mind for future interactions.

Edited by serial muse
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moloko99 New Member

moloko99

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I love the feedback, and I get your points. But I still think it's kind a hypocritical for a girl to laugh after hearing the explanation for a "donkey punch" or a "strawberry swirl" from an "attractive guy" and be "creeped out" by my comment on a specific girl, especially if I wasn't actually hitting on her, just joining the conversation. Either way it's really funny now.

TigerCub Established Member

TigerCub

Posted
Posted
I love the feedback, and I get your points. But I still think it's kind a hypocritical for a girl to laugh after hearing the explanation for a "donkey punch" or a "strawberry swirl" from an "attractive guy" and be "creeped out" by my comment on a specific girl, especially if I wasn't actually hitting on her, just joining the conversation. Either way it's really funny now.

 

I understand what you're saying, and calling it "creepy" is a bit much on her part. Do you think there is any way that it could have been your delivery - maybe you said it in a creepy tone?

Honest question.

 

But if you didn't yeah - her reaction is a bit much.

BellaMarieOC Member

BellaMarieOC

Posted
Posted

Sounds like the guys were making inappropriate jokes just to be humorous. I'm sure the girls were already uncomfortable. Then you chime in and make a rude comment about someone actually in the room....

 

It's one thing to joke around, but to joke around at someone eases expense is just plain bad taste.

Carenth Established Member

Carenth

Posted
Posted

TLDR; Context is the key.

 

non-specific = you can get away with.

target specific girl = most likely end up in upset people or thinking you are a creep.

 

Both types of behavior are pretty low brow imo. Context is incredibly important though, a lot of guys fail to realise this. The amount of times I've seen "friends" of mine (hint they are no longer my friends) do this, then don't understand why girls get offended is amazing.

 

One evening I was out with some friends for dinner a few of the guys were doing the same thing just talking about sex in general not specific to anyone. Then one of my friends wanting to join the conversation the other guys were having. Eagerly jumped in making a comment about the waitress "saying she had a really fine body, I would like a piece of that if you know what I mean" or some crap.

 

No one acknowledged what he said because it was incredibly awkward. Since no one acknowledged what he said, he tried again a few minutes later commenting on the same waitress again.

 

This "friend" didn't realise that the waitress was a friend of mine (and several other people there) one of the girls told him to stop "been a creeper to her friend or he is welcome to leave if he wants to fulfill his lonely fantasy". He did end up leaving shortly after because he had made a complete ass of himself.

 

Moral of the story, if you must talk about sex/sexual acts or whatever keep it non-specific as in not in relation to anyone. The second you start targeting specific girls with those kind of comments you become a creep in most girls eyes regardless of how you look.

A O Established Member

A O

Posted
Posted
Are girls really that hypocritical??????!!!!!!. So basically if you are a good looking guy, you can narrate a hardcore porn film and the girls will be all laugh and giggles, but I have to keep my mouth shut because if you're not an attractive guy, you look "creepy" or regarded as a "perv".

The more 'value' someone has the more rubbish they may be able to get way with. Looks has value, intelligence has value, experience has value, skill has value, so on and so on. The more you have of something the more valuable you are the more you may be able to get way with. It's human nature and has very little to do with gender orientation.

ascendotum Established Member

ascendotum

Posted
Posted
Yeah, I was thinking this exact thing. I honestly think a LOT of guys don't recognize this rather key difference, so this is a teachable moment. :) I don't necessarily think it was so much about talking about another girl rather than the one you're with...I think this is a more general point. The key here is that the dreaded "that's creepy" often rears its head at the precise moment when you go from the general to the specific. Commenting in the abstract, even about a sexual act, is really different from making a specific personal comment. So, keep that in mind for future interactions.

 

I agree to an extent, with what you are saying but I really think what Carhill wrote applies more. Talking about her bra showing (maybe fashion faux pas or deliberate) is hardly getting that specific. Its at eye level in front of you, its not like he commented on the woman having a camel toe...then that would be along the lines of what you describe.

Its more insulting mentioning a bra showing on another woman than talking about punching a woman in the back of her head to tighten her sphincter.!!! lol...come on. first guy is a lot more attractive than OP.

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