Author Tenacity Posted October 31, 2012 Author Posted October 31, 2012 Well, email #1 was guilt, email #2 was flattery and an aim at my soft spot, and email #3 was anger and more attempts at guilt and what a terrible person I am. He sent an email an hour ago, mad, saying how rude I was not to respond at all, how he at least deserved a response, how I was being a b!tch, how he had something to tell me that I would "want to know" and lastly, how he is never going to contact me again and that I deserve it. I feel completely like I have been in a stressful fight, and I haven't even said a single word to him.
eleanorrigby Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 :laugh:This guy is really whipping himself up into a lather! Keep ignoring him!!
veryhappy Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 Stay tenacious. Your reaction is normal and you know it. Do not let him get through. It's the only payback you have and the only way to keep your sanity. Any way you can detach from that email for a while?
EmptyHeartGirl Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 What a class A Jacka**! I can only imagine the emotions that you are having to deal with. He is doing anything to get a reaction out of you. This final move is just to repair his bruised ego. You deflated his ego by not responding so to save face he tries to bring you down. Don't give him that power over you. Just continue to ignore him, it will drive him crazy (it already is). He really can;t believe he isn't controlling the puppet strings anymore. You should feel so empowered right now. Stay strong and stay focused
2sunny Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Thanks everyone. I just don't get it.... If they want to be with their wives then why don't they just BE with their wives and leave the rest alone? Why??? Because he NEEDS you to feed his big fat ego! And he's bummed out that you won't do that for him anymore... He used the storm as another excuse to contact - and see if, hopefully, he could get you to think about him again. using the word "we" is just his ignorance and habit of not considering how it would affect you seeing that one little word. Word for him = a$$! Selfish and self serving, isn't it? But I'm sure by the way he writes - its always only about him. Take the opportunity to see how much you've grown!
2sunny Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Well, email #1 was guilt, email #2 was flattery and an aim at my soft spot, and email #3 was anger and more attempts at guilt and what a terrible person I am. He sent an email an hour ago, mad, saying how rude I was not to respond at all, how he at least deserved a response, how I was being a b!tch, how he had something to tell me that I would "want to know" and lastly, how he is never going to contact me again and that I deserve it. I feel completely like I have been in a stressful fight, and I haven't even said a single word to him. What a complete douchebag! Don't hand him any of YOUR power! Go take a soothing bath - read - light candles.... Ahhhhhhhh! 2
2sunny Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Consider forwarding all his emails to his wife! I would!
Author Tenacity Posted November 1, 2012 Author Posted November 1, 2012 :laugh:This guy is really whipping himself up into a lather! Keep ignoring him!! I know... after being upset about it for awhile now it seems funny that he's having an argument with himself.
Author Tenacity Posted November 1, 2012 Author Posted November 1, 2012 Stay tenacious. Your reaction is normal and you know it. Do not let him get through. It's the only payback you have and the only way to keep your sanity. Any way you can detach from that email for a while? Thanks CD. I should be able to detach soon (selling my half of the business, just need to find a buyer). I am modeling myself after you and being strong with the NC. This is the best I have done, actually. I don't even feel tempted. It just disgusts me.
Author Tenacity Posted November 1, 2012 Author Posted November 1, 2012 What a class A Jacka**! I can only imagine the emotions that you are having to deal with. He is doing anything to get a reaction out of you. This final move is just to repair his bruised ego. You deflated his ego by not responding so to save face he tries to bring you down. Don't give him that power over you. Just continue to ignore him, it will drive him crazy (it already is). He really can;t believe he isn't controlling the puppet strings anymore. You should feel so empowered right now. Stay strong and stay focused Thank you I do feel empowered. It is a good feeling. I know he must be going crazy that I don't respond and that he can't call because I changed my phone number. It was a huge hassle but it was worth it!
Author Tenacity Posted November 1, 2012 Author Posted November 1, 2012 What a complete douchebag! Don't hand him any of YOUR power! Go take a soothing bath - read - light candles.... Ahhhhhhhh! Thanks 2sunny... you are right, it has always been about him. Always. I always made excuses for it. It was such a long haul of so many years. I wish I could prevent just one person from going through it. I think I will take that bath... and add a glass of wine
Author Tenacity Posted November 1, 2012 Author Posted November 1, 2012 Consider forwarding all his emails to his wife! I would! I don't have her email address. It wouldn't do any good. She's stuck with him - she can't get out no matter what he does. She is completely dependent. Glad I'm not!
veryhappy Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Thanks CD. I should be able to detach soon (selling my half of the business, just need to find a buyer). I am modeling myself after you and being strong with the NC. This is the best I have done, actually. I don't even feel tempted. It just disgusts me. You are too kind to a woman who has been a sobbing mess for a while now, but getting better. It's a hard process, and it's enough that OW are viewed as they are by the world at large, to add to add to that and put ourselves through more pain. These men have all the right to keep their marriages, but they don't deserve any seconds and thirds from something they didn't value enough the first time. If they had any dignity and respect, and a more evolved brain, they'd leave the women they hurt so much alone.
ilovedhim Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 I agree the best thing is to ignore...or you could setup a fake email account with a guy's name and have the new "boyfriend" reply demanding he leave you alone. .. that will deflate his ego
Author Tenacity Posted November 1, 2012 Author Posted November 1, 2012 You are too kind to a woman who has been a sobbing mess for a while now, but getting better. It's a hard process, and it's enough that OW are viewed as they are by the world at large, to add to add to that and put ourselves through more pain. These men have all the right to keep their marriages, but they don't deserve any seconds and thirds from something they didn't value enough the first time. If they had any dignity and respect, and a more evolved brain, they'd leave the women they hurt so much alone. Even if you have been a sobbing mess you are strong. You have learned a lot more quickly than I did. It took me years. Lately I have been thinking about how my daughter would be 3 now (the baby I had with him, who died). I would give anything to have her.
whichwayisup Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 how he is never going to contact me again and that I deserve it. It's good you didn't reply. Let him stew in his own steaming pile of angry shi.t now. What a baby, throw a fit as he isn't getting his way (aka you replying and giving him an ego stroke or any kind of reaction) so he gets mad and pulls the ass.hole card. Good riddance!
Tara247 Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Thanks everyone. I just don't get it.... If they want to be with their wives then why don't they just BE with their wives and leave the rest alone? Why??? I think you're smart enough to get it. Your MM, (and a lot of them like him who don't leave their wives), want the validation of knowing that you still want him, that you still pine for him, and that should he ever decide to leave his wife, that you'll be there waiting in the wings.
Author Tenacity Posted November 1, 2012 Author Posted November 1, 2012 It's good you didn't reply. Let him stew in his own steaming pile of angry shi.t now. What a baby, throw a fit as he isn't getting his way (aka you replying and giving him an ego stroke or any kind of reaction) so he gets mad and pulls the ass.hole card. Good riddance! I agree. Thank you. This is really the first time I have ever firmly felt this way. I'm not even tempted. (Wow! Dancing!... :cool: ) It has been such a loooooooooooooooooong road. There were times I just knew I wouldn't live through it. I was such a mess. 1
Lamplight Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 1) Send those emails to his wife and tell her that she needs to put a stop to it! 2) Have your system admin block his account at your job. Any correspondence he needs to have with you can go through the admin, an assistant or co-worker. 3) Find a male friend or male relative and tell them this guy is harassing you. Leave out the part about the affair. Give them his address, place of employment and his phone number. Have them contact him and speak to him about the harassment. 4) Take the emails to the police or a lawyer and see if they can pay this guy a visit. By doing nothing, you are letting him know that it is OK to do these things to you. These items will let him know that you mean business. My XMM tried doIng that crap to me. I unleashed a fury on him that he will never forget. He couldn't slither back under that rock fast enough.
Barrsitter Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 This guy is missing his misery-stabilizer (you) or he's bored out of mind and he wants the thrill of a double-life again. Ignore him. You've got better things to do than pander to this clown.
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