daisies12 Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 Hi guys, My bf and I were together for almost 3 years - we were each other's first everything, and even through very rough times we've always worked it out because we both care so much. We broke up over 2 months ago because we'd spent so much time together that we needed to find out who we were again. He is a terribly awkward person and we're in the same circle of friends. I'm in a good place, thought I was mostly over him, and got tired of him ignoring me when we're out. So I made the move to be friends. We hung out as friends for the first time yesterday. But now, I just keep thinking how nice it was to spend time together NOT fighting, and it reminds me of what I liked about him in the first place. He's been very adamant that he doesn't want to get back together, but is always the one that has to know every little thing I'm doing - I've never been concerned about what he's up to while we've been apart. Does that mean he's lying to me about not wanting me anymore? Is friends a terrible idea if it's making these feelings surface? It's hard to tell what are the right decisions after a break up. I sent him a message telling him that it reminded me what I liked about him, but I'm worried it's just going to result in more rejection.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 First of all, who broke up with who? And while being friends is something that could eventually work, doing it two months after a three-year relationship is way too soon.
Author daisies12 Posted October 31, 2012 Author Posted October 31, 2012 The break-up was fairly mutual, because we both needed to work on ourselves. But because of the circumstances I just didn't really picture us dropping out of each other's lives altogether, and not being able to work it out once we had our space. I had mentioned the rejection, because after the break up I got really lonely and tried to fix things, and that's when he got adamant about not wanting to see each other.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 The break-up was fairly mutual, because we both needed to work on ourselves. But because of the circumstances I just didn't really picture us dropping out of each other's lives altogether, and not being able to work it out once we had our space. I had mentioned the rejection, because after the break up I got really lonely and tried to fix things, and that's when he got adamant about not wanting to see each other. I don't think you can be friends if one of you wants to "fix" things while the other does not. That's just going to be disaster. Sounds like hanging out with him has those old feelings coming back, which is dangerous. I'd chill on the friends bit for now.
Author daisies12 Posted October 31, 2012 Author Posted October 31, 2012 I know you're probably right. I just wish there was an easier way to make things less weird around our friends. I'm able to put on the friendly face, and he just can't do it. It's really hurtful, but I don't want to have to avoid social functions for him.
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