Coyoteloco Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Hey, so maybe some of you know my story, it was a 6 year relationship, first love, im 21 she 20, you could say she left me for her coworker she knew for 1 month. She admited having kissed him, but nothing else . . . and for this last month she has been chasing me, called me crying alot of times, said i was the love of her life, that she still loved me, i gave her a really emotional hug but that was it. She cryed when we saw each other after 1 month, she struggled alot to get a meeting with me, so the second time we meet i ask her about her coworker, and after putting some pressure into her to tell me what happened between them she told me they hung out a bit and kissed, i asked if something more happened, and she said no. So after that i said i had to go and left, she started crying and said i was always on her mind even when she kissed this other dude. I said that i really had to go and left the house. She left me a letter in my room telling me how sometimes people mess up and how she has changed right now. So one day goes by another, and she starts calling my house and cellphone non stop for three days, she then sends me this text messages telling me how she is feeling really sad. Then another one asking for a meeting. And this stuff stoped on monday. So i was thinking on sending her an email saying something like "im sorry for not picking up or replying your texts, this is really hard for me, to acept things change and they are never the same again. But its better to see the reality as how it is. We should be apart for the good of both of us. Im not angry with you and i dont hate you, you shouldnt feel guilty about anything but for making me a very happy man for a long time. You are a very good person and you deserve the best." Or should i stay no contact? The thing is that after what happened with her coworker, i dont think i could get over this and be with her again, because i would always picture the coworker everytime i see her face. But if she didnt have sex with him i could consider going back with her in some time when all of this is in the past, but i dont know the whole story about the coworker and i dont wanna find it out right now. My family tells me that i should send her this email telling her how i feel.
Sameold Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 not sure I agree. She kisses a co-worker and leaves you for a fling with him and you think she shouldn't feel guilt? Errmm YES SHE SHOULD! Don't validate her horrible behaviour. Personally speaking I would reply to say you want time apart to decide if you can get over what happened. Then after a period you decide as sufficient wait and see how hard she tries to fix things. Please please don't just let her get away with her actions or she will only do it again.
Author Coyoteloco Posted October 30, 2012 Author Posted October 30, 2012 okay ur right editing the thing.
Sameold Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 and you tell her your not angry? If I was you I'd be really angry. Being nice here is a false prophecy. You don't have to be nasty either but take the high ground. Be pretty straight to the point. I'd go with: "Sorry I've not picked up your calls/texts but you must understand that what you have done has really hit me hard. It pains me to know you were capable of hurting me so much and if I'm honest I'm not sure there is a way forward. I need time to consider what is best for me here and I suggest you think about what you did and why before we speak further". Then I'd prob leave it for at least a week at which point I think you'll start to know whether or not you have any future. Remember this is for her to fix, not you. Let her do ALL the running.
Author Coyoteloco Posted October 30, 2012 Author Posted October 30, 2012 Okay i edited and now its like: "Sorry for not picking up or replying your texts in this past few this, all of this is hard for me , to acept that things change and they are never the same. We should be apart for some time, for the good of both of us." Sameold, i like ur reply but it doesnt sound like me heh. Your so right about she having to fix all of this, and i dont even think ill go back with her after all of this. I really dont think i can get over this.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 For the love of god, do not send that email.
Author Coyoteloco Posted October 30, 2012 Author Posted October 30, 2012 lol didnt send yet. But i guess its best to have the things good between the both of us. So she doesnt feel like giving a revenge or something.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 lol didnt send yet. But i guess its best to have the things good between the both of us. So she doesnt feel like giving a revenge or something. Things will be good if you just pull back and don't do anything. Sending e-mails like that are always bad idea jeans, especially in this situation. She'll just keep coming at you like she has. Do not send.
Author Coyoteloco Posted October 31, 2012 Author Posted October 31, 2012 okay i was thinking that would be the best idea after all. I guess if she calls me again ill pick up and explain her that we should be apart for some time. But i wont send the email after all. sorry dumb thread
Sameold Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 Why would she give revenge? Remember she is in the wrong here, you are not at fault mate. Let her fix this. Don't just accept this kind of behaviour as something that is fine. Decide what you want, make your stance and go NC.
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