tsunamii Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 I have been dating a woman from OLD for almost 3 months and she recently became very distant. Everything was going perfect and we were both into each other, but suddenly she disappeared. She initiated contact again after a few weeks saying she was sorry but she feels messed up and she is not over her ex, so she isn’t looking for anything serious.she freaked out because she thought I have developed feelings for her.also she would love to meet me from time to time as she really likes me. I told her that I would like something more stable and take it easy with her as I liked her a lot. We haven’t talked over the last month apart from exchanging very few texts. I was thinking of inviting her over for a weekend in a couple of weeks.is it a good idea? How do I make her feel the need to see me again? I suspect she is dating someone else already without having any proof of course, as she is still using the OLD quite heavily.(she is always online when I am online). I need to know what is going on really, the real reasons behind her flaking, but I am very hesitant to ask as that might puss her away. I ve always been honest with her, so is 3 months of dating a justifiable time for me to ask for explanations and the truth? I don’t want to scare her, just want to keep dating her.any solution?
yongyong Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 I am sure you banged her few times by now? So what did you learn from this? A lot of girls here complain about 'oh most guys want just sex on OLD'. No girls would admit 'I just want to find a guy to have sex on OLD' (since it will make her look like a whore and women are good at lying about it) So by becoming a genuine guy who wants more than a physical relationship, she is getting far away from you. An obvious solution to this is Using her just for sex (actually you have been used by her) BTW you know she is banging other guys on side. how can you think about getting into a relationship with her? To get her back as FWB, don't do stupid beta things like talking sweet and showing your emotions 'I like hangingout with you' 'your eyes are really beautiful today' 'you made my day'. I would just hangout with her casually, bang her and let her initiate the contact.
Jamesblame Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Respect yourself and your boundaries. Try not to invest more than the other person. Especially when it's clear she's sleeping with other people and not interested in being with you exclusively. It's not going to work out well for you. And honestly, you two are looking for different things. Move on. It's futile, there's no hope. You have a big red flag. You like her, but she's different from you. As such, you should find someone who is more compatible. Don't disrespect yourself. 1
Sunfire73 Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 If you're looking for a relationship, 3 months of dating should be enough time to know whether to move forward or not. She is still online, so you just have to next her. She is not looking for a relationship.
Author tsunamii Posted October 30, 2012 Author Posted October 30, 2012 Well, to say that I have been used it is a bit extreme. While we were dating I never really went after her, she was the one into me more than I was, constantly checking on me also. She basically suggested FWB but I told her we are either going to date or I don’t do FWB. And while we were dating she wasn’t banging other guys as it was quite obvious. I think she might have now after she got distant though. And I never asked for a relationship. I just asked to date her, while both of us don’t date other people at the same time. We might be looking for different things indeed, but since I really liked her the point was to make her look for what I am looking for. But I guess this is not very feasible. And no, I didn’t do any beta things, I set my boundaries and I am waiting for a response (that might never come!) But I am not sure whether I should casually ask her out again, or just wait and she if she ever responds.
Under The Radar Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 She was honest enough to tell you she isn't over her ex and is "messed up". This information, her distance, and very few exchanges over the past month is reason to let it go for now. She is already aware you really like her and if she wants to contact you she will. In fact, she could be involved with her ex again. You don't want to date her if she isn't healed from her last relationship. It would only get you closer to her and you would likely get hurt (not that you feel great about this right know). My advice is not to call her.
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