LoveHurts88 Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 During my 31 days of NC I was doing pretty well. I missed my ex still do. She broke NC we talked went out for dinner and movies and eventually i found out she might be seeing someone.. She said its undecided. She told me she still likes me but not enough to b in a relationship and whatnot but these are just excuses. Why not just set us free? I would honestly wish the best for her. Its hard to know shes seeing someone else but when i think of her smile and her cuteways ill b happy knowing shes happy. Not lying.. I think i would wait a lifetime for her but its just unfair for me, why couldnt she just set me free? Back to NC now day 5. She knew she was being selfish. Why even keep me around? Does she not know itll just hurt me even more? Any advice would be appreciated thanks!
flitzanu Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 She said its undecided. She told me she still likes me but not enough to b in a relationship and whatnot but these are just excuses. um, no they aren't. what exactly do you need to hear? I DON'T LIKE YOU ENOUGH TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. that sounds pretty direct, doesn't it? 2
Author LoveHurts88 Posted October 30, 2012 Author Posted October 30, 2012 Its not even that.. Why bother contacting me, tell me you like me. Go out with me and say all this stuff as we would be getting back together?
flitzanu Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Bc you're a sucker and keep Stroking her ego as soon as she contacts you. You control your own actions, not hers, so stop replying to her and this whole thing can be avoided. 1
Author LoveHurts88 Posted October 30, 2012 Author Posted October 30, 2012 Well said its true i still compliment her and what not.. How would i know if she wants to get back together or not? I guess she'll tell me if she wanted to. Yeap its 5 days NC again. Im doing well just missing her
puzzled1 Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Because she is guilty bro, she was with another person and wanted to make sure she will has your balls!
Simon Phoenix Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 I hate it when people say "she broke NC". She didn't break it, you did. No one forced you to respond, no one forced you to go out with her. It's not her job to go no contact in this situation, it's yours. If you want to be free of the whole thing, show some backbone. Is it hard? Of course, but don't act like the other person is to blame for you breaking your NC. 1
Chi townD Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Hi friendzone! Your looking pretty dapper today! She's contacting you for her own selfish reasons, you already admitted that you still compliment her. She's looking for and ego stroke. And you're giving her exactly what she wants. 2
Author LoveHurts88 Posted October 30, 2012 Author Posted October 30, 2012 You guys are right, sorry i broke nc.. I am the one who should just f it and just move on.. I always compliemented her and what not now she prolly thinks ill wait forever or that she can do much better.. Who knows Yeap friendzone was just that.. Lesson learned. Now she doesnt have to set me free, i set myself free from all this bs that i dont deserve. She says that i take her for granted because we have been together for 2 years and that everytime we break up then i put 110 percent in... But tbh i loved her and did what i could.
Chi townD Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 You guys are right, sorry i broke nc.. I am the one who should just f it and just move on.. I always compliemented her and what not now she prolly thinks ill wait forever or that she can do much better.. Who knows Yeap friendzone was just that.. Lesson learned. Now she doesnt have to set me free, i set myself free from all this bs that i dont deserve. She says that i take her for granted because we have been together for 2 years and that everytime we break up then i put 110 percent in... But tbh i loved her and did what i could. And do you know what? That makes you human. And a damn good one. That you are capable enough to put someone else before you. That you can recongize the possibilites in a person. Problem is, that person doesn't want to give back as much as you're putting out there. She's like a vampire (little Halloween reference for you.). Trust me on this. There is a girl out there for you. That's going to love you unconditionally if you promise the same to her. She's going to love the time you have together and miss you like hell when you're away and will count the moments until you're back together because it just feels wrong when you're not there. She's out there and she waiting for you to find her. But, you're never going to find her if your hung up on a girl that doesn't want you anymore. Sometimes, you'll find this girl when you least expect it. So, you need to put yourself out there. Go join a club, co-ed softball league, go traveling. That's the only way you'll meet her is to put yourself in the world. Dude, you're worth it. You just need to tell yourself that once in a while. 1
taya Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 (edited) you ask why dont she set us free, WHY DONT YOU SET YOU GUYS FREE ? THINK ABOUT IT SHE WONT DO IT SO WHY DONT YOU ..SHE HAVE YOU AS HER TOY JUST TO PLAY WITH THEN FINALY WHEN SHE MEET THE MAN SHE WANTS SHE WILL STOP PLAYING WITH HER TOY AND MOVE ON THEN YOU WILL BE IN HURT AND PAIN THAT YOU NEVER LET HER GO YOU STOOD THERE PLAYING HER GAMES THAT IS FINALY OVER ..SO WHY DONT YOU SET YOUR SELF FREE HUN THATS THE QUESTION YOU NEED TO BE ASKING Edited October 30, 2012 by taya
Author LoveHurts88 Posted October 30, 2012 Author Posted October 30, 2012 Thanks everyone.. Shti happens... Time to set myself free.. Quite frankly time waits for no one. And well i aint waiting or going to become an option.. I babied her i put her ahead of myself. Not gonna happen anymore. After this i dont think i can even speak to her again
Author LoveHurts88 Posted October 30, 2012 Author Posted October 30, 2012 Below are just a few examples of the thoughts / feelings / beliefs that a lot of people on here have: After being dumped, you think / feel / believe your Ex asked for your permission to break up. You were not dumped, your Ex just made a request and are waiting for your final approval. After being dumped, you think you and your Ex are "role playing". Your Ex is the judge and you are a lawyer. You are presenting your case / pleading for mercy / trying to convince the judge that they love you or convince the Ex how much they love you. You were not dumped, it's "role playing". After being dumped, you think your Ex is putting you through some sort of "fire drill" where you have to prove that you love them or prove how much you love them. You were not dumped, it's a "fire drill". After being dumped, you think it's a game. You are now a contestant who has to successfully navigate through an obstacle course (similar to the one on the TV show Wipeout) to end up with your Ex. You were not dumped, it's an obstacle course. After being dumped, it's a movie. Depending on the type of movie you think it is, you get to play any one or several of the following roles: Private Eye, Spy, Detective, Investigator, Psychologist, Interrogator, Hero, White Knight, Prince Charming, Antagonist, Villain, Victim, Extra, etc. You were not dumped, you are playing a role in a movie where there is never a happy ending. After being dumped, you think you were accidentally left stranded on an island. So you you send "message in a bottle" after "message in a bottle" in hopes that one will reach your Ex and they will come find you. You were not dumped, you are marooned on an island. In reality, your Ex broke up with because they they no longer want to be with you, they believe their life is better off without you in it and they are sure / have met someone who is better than you. Honestly speaking right now my minds telling me to fck it. Not worth the heartache ache and what not.. It may b my loss but moreso hers because i gave my all and if she doesnt appreciate it someone else well. We broke up for a reason. Not my duty to boost ur ego, not my worry to make u happy, bot my worry for anything. Reality hurts but its better to feel the pain rather than goin thru the bs again and again... What doesnt kill u only makes u stronger and wiser.. Fool me once shame on u, fool me twice shame on me
puzzled1 Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 AMAZING advise up there^^ You have to tell yourself you are better than this, I know the feeling because I am also going thru this rough patch, but you know what?? I am GLAD and would not take this back if I could. I learned so much on how she works and how much she depends on me that I was bending myself over while she took advantage of me, but still wanted me around to be her friend because of all the **** I do for her. If she came running back to me, I would not give a flying F! NC is definitely helping. I was in LC for about 3 weeks and now its been 3 days for NC and I don't expect a damn thing from her. Sorry for being kinda rude but thats how I feel.
Author LoveHurts88 Posted October 30, 2012 Author Posted October 30, 2012 Yeap NC does really help. Everyone goes thru a breakup and there are much worse situations out there. I know it hurts it still does but if they dont want u, u shouldnt even bother anymore its just going to hurt u more and more and when u realize it you'll just wished you started NC earlier... I love her ill tell u that much but i guess it wasnt ever meant to be.
sweetheart5381 Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Below are just a few examples of the thoughts / feelings / beliefs that a lot of people on here have: After being dumped, you think / feel / believe your Ex asked for your permission to break up. You were not dumped, your Ex just made a request and are waiting for your final approval. After being dumped, you think you and your Ex are "role playing". Your Ex is the judge and you are a lawyer. You are presenting your case / pleading for mercy / trying to convince the judge that they love you or convince the Ex how much they love you. You were not dumped, it's "role playing". After being dumped, you think your Ex is putting you through some sort of "fire drill" where you have to prove that you love them or prove how much you love them. You were not dumped, it's a "fire drill". After being dumped, you think it's a game. You are now a contestant who has to successfully navigate through an obstacle course (similar to the one on the TV show Wipeout) to end up with your Ex. You were not dumped, it's an obstacle course. After being dumped, it's a movie. Depending on the type of movie you think it is, you get to play any one or several of the following roles: Private Eye, Spy, Detective, Investigator, Psychologist, Interrogator, Hero, White Knight, Prince Charming, Antagonist, Villain, Victim, Extra, etc. You were not dumped, you are playing a role in a movie where there is never a happy ending. After being dumped, you think you were accidentally left stranded on an island. So you you send "message in a bottle" after "message in a bottle" in hopes that one will reach your Ex and they will come find you. You were not dumped, you are marooned on an island. In reality, your Ex broke up with because they they no longer want to be with you, they believe their life is better off without you in it and they are sure / have met someone who is better than you. This is one of the best analogies about being dumped I have ever heard. The "message in a bottle" reference is priceless. As usual, Gibson nails it OP, it is up to you if you want this person in your life. If you genuinely feel that you will be healthy and happy just being around her, just being her friend, then go for it. Something tells me that this is a bad idea atm for you, but its just my opinion. Understand that she owes you nothing and you owe her nothing with regard to the past. When you have reached a point that the former relationship means nothing to your own present or future, then you can be friends if you so wish.
Author LoveHurts88 Posted October 31, 2012 Author Posted October 31, 2012 There's no way we can be friends not now. I don't know what the future holds but from the way I look at it I don't think so she hurt me quite bad.. And for her to already see someone that's just a kick in the nuts. i'm doing fine tho im partying pretty damn hard having a blast. Its just that I missed what we had I guess she does too but not enough. I don't really know right now kinda confused and all but I know for a fact when enough is enough and it's time for me to go.
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