InAFog Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 I recently found out that my ex has a new girlfriend. We are five months out of an almost 6 year relationship, and i think he started seeing her about a month ago. It's not jealousy over them being together that is eating me up, but jealousy that he has something new and exciting in his life, something to look forward to. While I'm still struggling every day with feeling just lost and not knowing where to go from here. I'm always talking my self down from a ledge, or up from the deeps, or trying to keep steady while tight-rope walking over an abyss. I had been consoling myself thinking that he must at least be feeling some of the same things himself. At least that he thought about it nearly as much as i do. But now i know he doesn't. He has someone new to think about and focus on. and he's happy. I HATE that! I just hate this feeling like such a looser who can't deal with things. Especially compared to him, who i know - - is a Looser!! any advice on how you guys dealt with these kinds of feeling would be much appreciated!!
StellaA Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Hey........this is totally crazy as I was just thinking the same thing and came on here to see if anyone was feeling the same! Your story is freakingly nearly the same as mine!! We were together 6 years and are 5 months out of the relationship.............I think he is seeing someone else. I freaked out for a second and then I had to remind myself that I 2 will be happy one day and will meet someone and that relationship will be even better than the one with my ex....otherwise what is the point??? Although it hurts a little, maybe this will give you even more stength to move on. I have been stuck in an unhappy bubble for the last 5 months and I don't want to waste anymore of my time. Plus I think in the long run it is better to have a bit of time before jumping into another relationship...yours will prob last longer than his
Jamesblame Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Honestly? It sucks and it'll suck until your body learns to not hurt when thinking about it. One trick is to think of the new people/adventures you've had since the split. The pain I felt when my ex was dating/sleeping around came from: 1. The fear that she was the only "chance" I had at happiness. 2. The fear that she would forget the good times with me 3. The fear that the new guy was better than me.
PYTpisces Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 In times of brief panic like that our minds like to play out every possible negative scenario as to how happy they are and how pathatic we are. Tell the negative voices to "get thee behind" because they're never right.
Author InAFog Posted October 31, 2012 Author Posted October 31, 2012 Thanks guys, i really appreciate your responses. Its a shi!!y thing and it's good to know i'm not alone. Such a whirlwind of feelings. But the worst yet - the pity party. Fam and friends are throwing one, people at work who hang at the same bars as he & the new girl are avoiding my like the plague. I assume it's because they are hanging out with them a bunch. ugh! horrible. support and helpful advice & such is appreciated - but i can't stand all this pity!! I think i'll take a weekend off and go away. somewhere where everything doesn't remind me of him and i can go out to eat without anxiously awaiting someone we knew as a couple. it sounds like an absolute heaven at this point...
spaniard Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 Well I tried to reorganize my life in a way that no news from my ex can reach me. I hope if she has a new boyfriend, I'll never find out Ignorance is bliss! 2
StellaA Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 Totally agree spaniard.....Ignorance is bliss!!!!!
Author InAFog Posted October 31, 2012 Author Posted October 31, 2012 Agreed! I had taken him off my FB so i wouldn't find out that kind of stuff. But i was helping my mom out with hers and up they popped! Announcing they had just gotten out of bed and were so excited to spend the day together. Complete with a picture of them cuddled up together. In the house that I put him in and furnished, with what were my animals running around in the background. ugh. I guess i'm kindof glad i found out somewhere where i could deal with it more privately than just running into them somewhere or someone blurting it out to me.
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