irc333 Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 I was hearing some women's opinions about being approached in public. One had stated that she does not like being approached, for instance at a grocery store. (The most common place to meet women out in public, usually.) Apparently, she doesn't like the idea of a guy seeing what she's buying (be it feminine products usually, toothbrush etc), she said there's just some kind of creepy factor about it, and apparently it's an invasion of privacy if a guy is trying to make small talk with her, while a box of "Tampons" sitting there in her cart. Plus, she's not looking "nice" at a grocery store appearance wise. That being said, I think with women, there is a lack of preparedness on their part. That when they are at a certain place, when making purchases.....that she's not 100% prepared for a man to approach her, and would rather be approached at a venue that a man SHOULD approach her. Ie a Nightclub, house party put on by friends, etc Ideas? Comments?
SeriouslyJK Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Different women are going to have different preferences I guess. I don't mind being approached at a grocery store but I do hate being approached at work (in a certain way) whereas another woman might not mind it. I'm a waitress and I think it's awkward to have someone sitting at one of my tables hit on me before they pay if that make sense. And if I'm out in public I'm prepared to be approached. No, I'm not as dolled up as I would be to go out at night but I find myself fairly attractive and I don't think I need to be dolled up all the time.
grkBoy Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 I would only come down on the "preparedness" if the woman in question is always going to bars/clubs to meet men, always meeting douchebags/liars/playas, and then moaning/complaining she can't meet any decent good men. If she's meeting plenty of date-worthy and boyfriend-worthy men in her usual social jaunts, then she's more than welcome to put the "LEAVE ME ALONE" sign up at the grocery store. However, if she's on OLD, going out to the usual social spots, and seemingly can't meet Mr Ideal, then she should open herself up then to being approached in places like grocery stores, cafes, etc.
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 You know what? Sure, some women aren't going to like it. Do it anyway, if you feel it. It's your chance. Take it. You might get rejected, and that does feel like crap … but the end result will be the same as if you hadn't done anything. But when you DO try, you are opening up the chance for a different outcome completely ... 1
GirlontheLam Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 I would only come down on the "preparedness" if the woman in question is always going to bars/clubs to meet men, always meeting douchebags/liars/playas, and then moaning/complaining she can't meet any decent good men. If she's meeting plenty of date-worthy and boyfriend-worthy men in her usual social jaunts, then she's more than welcome to put the "LEAVE ME ALONE" sign up at the grocery store. However, if she's on OLD, going out to the usual social spots, and seemingly can't meet Mr Ideal, then she should open herself up then to being approached in places like grocery stores, cafes, etc. We don't have to always be available for you to approach us. So no matter what our current status is, goals are, etc we don't have to give you the time of day if we don't feel like. Or dress to impress so you'll want to approach us. Or welcome your interruptions, cold approaches and so on. It is my choice to respond to your advance when I feel like it, not yours! Don't get mad and hostile if a woman isn't receptive to you. She might be taken, busy, distracted, in a reflective mood or just not interested. 4
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 I have to add, I agree with girlonthelam - though I encourage you to give it a try if you feel like it, I also encourage you to accept the outcome gracefully. If the woman is "a bitch" about being approached, just move on. She might not be "a bitch" at all, but not socially open at that moment for any number of reasons. Or, maybe she's a bitch. Whatever. When I was single, I used to wish I'd meet a man at the grocery store. A handful of times, I was approached. And sometimes, I would have been hard pressed to be anything but "a bitch" if I were suddenly in the position to engage with a stranger while rushing through some chores, with a lot on my mind and maybe a bad cold or something. I tend towards being polite and friendly to people, but there are times when it's pretty difficult. I think that all of us, regardless of our gender, spend a lot of time out in public inside of our protective "bubbles" where we're not really available to interact with other people out there in the world. It's a risk! Not life threatening at all, though!
NoMoreJerks Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 I was hearing some women's opinions about being approached in public. One had stated that she does not like being approached, for instance at a grocery store. (The most common place to meet women out in public, usually.) Apparently, she doesn't like the idea of a guy seeing what she's buying (be it feminine products usually, toothbrush etc), she said there's just some kind of creepy factor about it, and apparently it's an invasion of privacy if a guy is trying to make small talk with her, while a box of "Tampons" sitting there in her cart. Plus, she's not looking "nice" at a grocery store appearance wise. That being said, I think with women, there is a lack of preparedness on their part. That when they are at a certain place, when making purchases.....that she's not 100% prepared for a man to approach her, and would rather be approached at a venue that a man SHOULD approach her. Ie a Nightclub, house party put on by friends, etc Ideas? Comments? Oh, pft, that's immature -- embarassed about tampons in her cart? I even put condoms in my cart.. at first it was embarassing, but when you've been doing this for 10-15 years or so (buying sanitary pads, etc.), then it should have ceased to be embarassing. It doesn't bother me at all. A man who approaches me at the grocery store? He earns bonus points for courage and creativity, to be honest. I once had a guy stop in the middle of the grocery store when he saw me, thought for a few seconds, while maintaining eye contact the whole time, wanted to talk to me, but I think I seemed a bit nervous so it might've scared him off. I would love it if a guy approaches me in a grocery store (for a change). Or a bookstore, or other public places. Guys who approach in bars are predictable. Guys who approach in grocery stores, etc., are unpredictable and tickle my fancy more. 2
Hawaii50 Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 almost as thought I wouldn't have known she menstrates, lmao. What's wrong with you, what are those! I wouldn't approach a person unless I had a reason, that's just em. could be anywhere, but I can't interrupt someone's day for a selfish intent. There are times, but a woman would have to make it pretty obvious and maybe even make it a point to be with in striking distance. 1
River Rain Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Tampons are part of life. I never minded being approached in public. What I don't want other people to see, I buy online, so that has nothing to do with it, in my opinion. If I'm judged on my grocery cart, so be it. If a cute guy approached me at the grocery store, I wouldn't be focused on his grocery cart. 1
NoMoreJerks Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 almost as thought I wouldn't have known she menstrates, lmao. What's wrong with you, what are those! HAHAHA. My sentiments exactly.
grkBoy Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 We don't have to always be available for you to approach us. So no matter what our current status is, goals are, etc we don't have to give you the time of day if we don't feel like. Or dress to impress so you'll want to approach us. Or welcome your interruptions, cold approaches and so on. It is my choice to respond to your advance when I feel like it, not yours! Don't get mad and hostile if a woman isn't receptive to you. She might be taken, busy, distracted, in a reflective mood or just not interested. I agree with you. Honest. It's why I said what I said. If a single woman, even one who really wants to find Mr Right, wants to go out shopping in her comfy slob clothes, no makeup, hair in a tail...more power to her. Bear in mind I aimed the "preparedness" thing at the women who seemingly can't find "Mr Ideal" in her usual spots AND is complaining about it. That's when I toss out the suggestion of being more prepared in the non-usual spots or even just being open in new places. Believe me, single women are NOT REQUIRED to be available and approachable all the time. I'm merely stating those who really do want to meet good men shouldn't limit themselves. I reiterate, if said women is out bar-hopping with the girls every weekend and only seemingly meets shallow drunken frat boy types, then she can either accept this or look beyond her usual possibilities to meet men...if she really wants a man that is.
verhrzn Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 I agree with you. Honest. It's why I said what I said. If a single woman, even one who really wants to find Mr Right, wants to go out shopping in her comfy slob clothes, no makeup, hair in a tail...more power to her. Bear in mind I aimed the "preparedness" thing at the women who seemingly can't find "Mr Ideal" in her usual spots AND is complaining about it. That's when I toss out the suggestion of being more prepared in the non-usual spots or even just being open in new places. Believe me, single women are NOT REQUIRED to be available and approachable all the time. I'm merely stating those who really do want to meet good men shouldn't limit themselves. I reiterate, if said women is out bar-hopping with the girls every weekend and only seemingly meets shallow drunken frat boy types, then she can either accept this or look beyond her usual possibilities to meet men...if she really wants a man that is. So she should get dressed up to go to the grocery store like she's going to a bar? And that is somehow going to attract a non-shallow guy? Wouldn't it be more powerful if a guy was still attracted to her even when she isn't dressed to the nines and putting out a neon "I'm single, hit on me!" sign?
dasein Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 So she should get dressed up to go to the grocery store like she's going to a bar? Yeah, that's -exactly- what he said. Gimme a huge break, you know better than that.
Imajerk17 Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 There you go again irc, looking for bizarre female behavior.... I sometimes wonder if you are playing sour grapes when it comes to women. I mean, is your dating life really your problem if according to you anyway, they are the ones who are screwed up? It really only takes one. I approach 10 women in the grocery store and 5 of them are glad I came over and out of those 5, 2 of them are available and interested, that's 2 dates for me. And yes, some women actually look quite hot in their lounge-around clothes. I was hearing some women's opinions about being approached in public. One had stated that she does not like being approached, for instance at a grocery store. (The most common place to meet women out in public, usually.) Apparently, she doesn't like the idea of a guy seeing what she's buying (be it feminine products usually, toothbrush etc), she said there's just some kind of creepy factor about it, and apparently it's an invasion of privacy if a guy is trying to make small talk with her, while a box of "Tampons" sitting there in her cart. Plus, she's not looking "nice" at a grocery store appearance wise. That being said, I think with women, there is a lack of preparedness on their part. That when they are at a certain place, when making purchases.....that she's not 100% prepared for a man to approach her, and would rather be approached at a venue that a man SHOULD approach her. Ie a Nightclub, house party put on by friends, etc Ideas? Comments?
grkBoy Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 So she should get dressed up to go to the grocery store like she's going to a bar? And that is somehow going to attract a non-shallow guy? Wouldn't it be more powerful if a guy was still attracted to her even when she isn't dressed to the nines and putting out a neon "I'm single, hit on me!" sign? Um...no. I can't believe I have to define this... She should do her hair, toss on maybe the fitted jeans and a nice top. Perhaps make up. That, or be open to a guy approaching her when she's not all dolled up...rather than chase him away thinking "ew...I look horrible, don't look at me!" I think plenty of guys will hit on the girl who is all looking slobby, but here's some hard honesty...many women won't allow guys to talk to them when they're not feeling all "pretty". So yeah, a great guy might be seeing her beauty when she's perhaps just done with the gym and is a sweaty mess...or she hasn't showered on a Sunday and is wearing the "lazy household PJs"...but it's pointless if she's suddenly going to put the "KEEP AWAY!" sign up. Frankly, and this has been talked about endlessly on many message boards, if a girl claims no one ever approaches her in public she should look at herself when she's out in public. If she's constantly on the phone, or puts the earbuds on, or has the sunglasses and hat while never making eye contact with another man...she should not be mad then when no men are willing to work through all those barriers to talk to her. I'm not putting all this on the women, but if any woman wants to complain that she never meets any guys, she should seriously look at how she dresses and carries herself in public. After all, that's what we tell guys to death here all the time when they can't seem to get a date.
Imajerk17 Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 (edited) Um...no. I can't believe I have to define this... She should do her hair, toss on maybe the fitted jeans and a nice top. Perhaps make up. That, or be open to a guy approaching her when she's not all dolled up...rather than chase him away thinking "ew...I look horrible, don't look at me!" I think plenty of guys will hit on the girl who is all looking slobby, but here's some hard honesty...many women won't allow guys to talk to them when they're not feeling all "pretty". So yeah, a great guy might be seeing her beauty when she's perhaps just done with the gym and is a sweaty mess...or she hasn't showered on a Sunday and is wearing the "lazy household PJs"...but it's pointless if she's suddenly going to put the "KEEP AWAY!" sign up. Frankly, and this has been talked about endlessly on many message boards, if a girl claims no one ever approaches her in public she should look at herself when she's out in public. If she's constantly on the phone, or puts the earbuds on, or has the sunglasses and hat while never making eye contact with another man...she should not be mad then when no men are willing to work through all those barriers to talk to her. I'm not putting all this on the women, but if any woman wants to complain that she never meets any guys, she should seriously look at how she dresses and carries herself in public. After all, that's what we tell guys to death here all the time when they can't seem to get a date. Sure. But irc really didn't write this thread about concern for the dateless women. He instead wrote this thread (and for that matter, all of his other threads) out of concern for his own dating life and how the women he comes across seem to have a "keep out" sign and how unfair that all seems to him. There are plenty of women who ARE open to being approached. Those are the ones to look out for, no need to concern yourself with the rest. Some of these women are in their sweats and some are even in their workout tights, you'll never know unless you actually go over and talk to them. And if there are not where you live, then there aren't many single women there period. You can always move. Sometimes grkboy, I think by coming on here and supporting irc's point of view, you actually help feed irc's pity party and encourage him to keep writing these inane pointless threads, instead of actually taking some constructive action. Edited October 30, 2012 by Imajerk17 2
MrCastle Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 I would approach if I felt like she was giving me the signals to do so. Aside from the tampon thing, you mentioned them not looking their best. I don't approach women who wear pajamas or sweatpants in the street. I don't care if I'm just going to the corner store, I dress well any time I plan on leaving the house. Girls who don't hold that same belief turn me off. Girls in college do it all the time. It comes across as lazy and lacking effort and not "comfortable" or "casual". If you're gonna be in public, and want/expect guys to approach you; be presentable.
River Rain Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 I don't care if I'm just going to the corner store, I dress well any time I plan on leaving the house. Girls who don't hold that same belief turn me off. Girls in college do it all the time. It comes across as lazy and lacking effort and not "comfortable" or "casual". If you're gonna be in public, and want/expect guys to approach you; be presentable. I agree with this. On days where I definitely want to be left alone and not bothered, I wear the sweats, baggy clothes and sunglasses.
MrCastle Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 I agree with this. On days where I definitely want to be left alone and not bothered, I wear the sweats, baggy clothes and sunglasses. Yeah I've always looked at that look as 1.) She has a boyfriend so she feels no need to dress up or 2.) She doesn't want to be approached. Either way, I don't approach girls dressed like that.
NoMoreJerks Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 I would approach if I felt like she was giving me the signals to do so. Aside from the tampon thing, you mentioned them not looking their best. I don't approach women who wear pajamas or sweatpants in the street. I don't care if I'm just going to the corner store, I dress well any time I plan on leaving the house. Girls who don't hold that same belief turn me off. Girls in college do it all the time. It comes across as lazy and lacking effort and not "comfortable" or "casual". If you're gonna be in public, and want/expect guys to approach you; be presentable. UGH. You can't imagine how much I hate it when women (or men) wear pajamas and sweatpants when out. Men these days do it as often as women. It's even worse when men do it. In fact, at my university, I see more men do it than women.
NoMoreJerks Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Yeah I've always looked at that look as 1.) She has a boyfriend so she feels no need to dress up or 2.) She doesn't want to be approached. Either way, I don't approach girls dressed like that. I wouldn't go out in sweatpants/pajamas even if I had a bf. Or maybe especially if i had a bf. haha. It's not just about how others view me. It's also about how I view myself. no, sorry, can't do the pj/sweatpants thing. just ugh.
grkBoy Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Sometimes grkboy, I think by coming on here and supporting irc's point of view, you actually help feed irc's pity party and encourage him to keep writing these inane pointless threads, instead of actually taking some constructive action. I mainly understand much of his POV. I used to be in his situation...although I keep advising he go MGTOW and stop constantly seeking some kind of "fairness" in dating. With this topic, my opinions mainly come based on my own travels of women who put up the barricades anywhere but the spots where they generally meet the men they later complain about. I've told female friends the same advice, but they keep dismissing it, and still can't fathom why they only meet guys who want to bang them, but won't date and possibly commit.
xxoo Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 It sounds like she wants to be approached in venues where she has some control over who is doing the approaching--not just any man off the streets. I'd suspect that she'd feel differently if she was being approached by men she considered desirable in the grocery store. Many women love to be approached in public places.
yongyong Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Why do guys keep asking 'hey women whatchya think?' Do you think they will tell you the truth on how to get to their pussy? do you even interact women in real life? I bet you don't.
SmileFace Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Apparently, she doesn't like the idea of a guy seeing what she's buying (be it feminine products usually, toothbrush etc), she said there's just some kind of creepy factor about it, and apparently it's an invasion of privacy if a guy is trying to make small talk with her, while a box of "Tampons" sitting there in her cart. Yes because I will never expect a guy to know that I buy "Tampons"... are you surveying 15 year olds again? Only time when I wll find it creepy if a guy approaches me and I am buying condoms, that should be a sign enough to leave me alone.
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