John Davis Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Hey guys, I'll try to keep this short. I thank you all in advance for your time and replies. My girlfriend of 2 years and I just got back from a 1 week trip to Thailand (Bangkok and Phuket). Everything was great, we saw the sights and sounds and all that, amazing country. It was my dream to go to a far away land with her (romantic that I am) so I organized everything. The problem is that one night when we went out to see the nightlife and to the bars where I got really drunk (well both of us did) and I started fooling around with one of the dancers who also got really into me. My girlfriend was having fun too to be honest so I took this as a que to keep going at it. I thought it was weird for couples to go to a place like this but we thought lets be open minded about it. Anyway, late into the night there was some physical contact and one kiss between the dancer and myself all in the name of fun... while my girlfriend was watching. I was pretty drunk. They kissed too just for fun and they also fooled around between themselves but this is a crazy place where this is kind of normal I guess. Those of you who have been to Phuket perhaps know what I'm talking about. The next night I said let's go there again and we did, and I kept looking for that girl (but just for fun, beacause it's a show after all) and my girlfriend got really hurt. She hated how I was searching for that dancer, that last night it was all just fun but now she believes I had an emotional attachment. I can't get her to believe me. Now when we got back my girlfriend tells me that it's over, and that I can't be trusted anymore. That I got emotionally attached to this chick and I cannot for the life of me convince her otherwise. I love my girlfriend very very much and she says she does too but that it can't work out like this. We had a very violent breakup over text message and at the end we said let's end this and find other people. My girlfriend also hates the fact that I'm close to my mom and calls me a mommas boy and that I still don't have a proper job and that I am stingy when it comes to money, even though I payed that whole trip and everything. I usually pay for her all the time as she's pretty poor but I love her all the same, I don't care. Finally, what I have to add is that my girlfriend cheated on me last year (posted here about that too) and has begged so much to have me back that after 2 weeks of no contact I accepted and she never did it again. I trusted her again, and she changed a lot. So now, she is telling me she is going to do the same thing I did at that bar which is not right at all. Shouldn't she forgive me for this having done what she did to me? It isn't fair and I can't believe she would say that. She goes crazy when she's emotional and upset but I cannot always give in to that. I want her in my life but I just don't know how healthy that is anymore.... I don't know if I have the patience not to call her either. I love her too much. What should I do guys, what are your thoughts on this? Will she come back? Am I a complete loser to want her back or is this normal... Thanks guys.
cutiepie1992 Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 honestly i think your both immature in this whole thing. first of all, shes immature for cheating on you. but your a good guy for taking her back after that. but you were immature for kissing another girl in front of her, but then wanted to see the same girl again. i can see where she got the idea that you were emotionally attached. i would be the same way. i just experienced something kind of different but along the line of cheating with my boyfriend. completely different circumstances. i was completely hurt by what he did. so i see where shes coming from. maybe just give her some time to cool down, and see if she will forgive you. if you really love her you wont give up on her. like i said just give her time to think about what happened and i bet she will eventually call you and want to talk about it. i dont know how long ago this was posted, but i hope youll take my advice into consideration.
Sameold Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Hmm you shouldn't have kissed the girl and neither should she and yeh then looking for her is a bit weird too but I think there are wider issues here. She has cheated on you once and now she is telling you she is going to get with others, doesn't sound like she loves you as much as you love her. I think you did wrong but this doesn't sound the issue, I think she wants her cake and eat it. Don't be a fool as she will go and screw around with some guy and then come back. This breaks your boundary and having already cheated once you need to lay out what will happen if she goes down this path and then cut all contact if she does.
Author John Davis Posted October 30, 2012 Author Posted October 30, 2012 Thanks guys, I really appreciate your comments. You're very right in your opinions and I shall take them to heart. Well she just called me and apologized for the whole thing, and so did I. Let's see where this goes... love is a crazy thing:bunny: Peace..
Chi townD Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Well, you kept on saying that it was all for fun. You mentioned that fact about four times in your post. Like, you're trying to convince yourself of that, like your trying to blameshift and she is being unreasonable because the two of you did it "just for fun". And maybe it was just for fun, but you actively went looking for that girl. Hoping for a repeat performance. So, I can understand where she's coming from. If it was just for fun, then that should have been it. A night of a little softcore swing experiment. Look, all I'm saying is that when having fun, or fantasies that involve a third person; when that fantasy becomes reality, someone usually ends up hurt. I mean, think about it. If you two didn't have "fun", I speculate that you two would still be together with the memories of an amazing trip. So, now it's over and when she threatened to go out and have her own fun the same way you did. Believe it. This girl had cheated on you before and the old addage, " Hell hath no fury...." so it's no skin off her nose. Sorry to say... I think it's time to move on, dude. 1
Author John Davis Posted October 30, 2012 Author Posted October 30, 2012 I understand what you're saying but I doubt she'll ever take revenge in the way she described she will. That's just emotional crazy talk, I think I know her that well. It's all good now, she'll forget in time. A little jealousy always helps increase value in a relationship (not condoning what I did though) Peace
Sameold Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 she's cheated once mate, now she has the perfect excuse to go do something else. Don't say you wern't warned.
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