DarkGlacia Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 My best friend and I have known each other for nearly four years now, but it feels like we've known each other forever. We dating once, and that was a huge, complicated affair. We talk about everything. He always tells me when he's interested in a girl and wants some advice, and just to talk about a girl and not feel awkward about it. So last year he was really interested in this girl (her name isn't realy Julie Smith, but for anonymity this is her new name) and he was asking me about her because we were on the school dance team together. Little did he know that I was crushing and that it hurt to help him with this affair, but I didn't really want him to know in fear of rejection and a change in our dynamic. However, it leaked, and he found out. When he confronted me I didn't lie and told him that I did like him. Now here's the fun part! See, he asked me why I kept it from him and why I didn't stop him from talking to me about other girls. I told him I didn't want anything to change between us and that I didn't want to impact his emotions for other girls like that. He told me that my feelings didn't affect his attitude towards Julie at all. Well, it was around one in the morning and we both went to bed. Or, at least I did. The very next day he asked me out and I agreed. I found out later that he had asked Julie out before asking me but she had turned him down. That was when he had come to me. I was devastated and heartbroken that he hadn't told me. The relationship fell apart two moths later, and frankly I'm shocked we lasted that long. Nowadays we joke about all of this, but he's very careful about how he brings up other girls to me anymore. And even after I was obviously a second choice, I like him again. I've had two other guys cheat on me with my best friends (during the dating period) and I grew up being bullied and used by others due to the fact I was always moving, and never being able to start a real foundational friendship. Needless to say, I have serious trust issues. I have a horrible inferiority complex due to this as well. I really don't know what to do with these feelings. Should I move on? Should I ask him to try again? I need help. Thank you.
CC12 Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Before you act on your feelings, I think you should create some distance between you and him. Date some other boys. See if you become interested in someone else. It's really pretty hard to get over your feelings for someone if you talk to them all the time. It becomes kind of a habit to let your thoughts center around the same person. Find out for yourself if it's just a habit you've allowed yourself to continue or if you truly still have feelings for him.
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