pamoose Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 (edited) So this the quick ver if you want the details read the rest. I'm 28 and ended a 8 year relationship in late July 2012. I met girl in late Aug , I really started to like her and later she went back to her ex. We had something there and then it was gone like that. I told myself, i know i would probably not see her again so i decided to tell her how i felt about her. she later replied with....Stop. Now i wanna know Did i do the wrong thing by telling her my feelings? Will she forgive me? Will she ever talk to me again? ((Long ver)) For the last few month my ex and I could tell our relationship was turning into a friendship. When we broke up it was weird cuz i wanted this is so much for while and could tell she wanted it too. I wanted out so many times but i didn't want to give up on her. She said we had an amazing time, and I was caring and she would never find a more loving person. ending it with....” you did nothing to deserve this". I was staying on the couch for a few weeks till i found a place in Aug. We haven't talked much, only about who’s taking what. When I turned 27 something changed in me. After being laid off, I decided to go back to being an artist again. I love my new job and feel this is was i wanna do forever. I was always a really happy go person and for a longest time, i wasn't happy, fear about making enough money for “us” and making her happy, I started to think about my life more and think about what i really wanted. I just wanted to be happy again. I don't open up to people at all. Because people say i have a ****ed up life and people see me differently after hearing my story. I like observing human interaction and love to make people smile. I don't look at my past and let it get me down or change me, i'm much stronger. For while during the end of the relationship i started to get this feeling about a girl but their was no girl, just a feeling like their was girl out there....someone that got me. didn’t really know what to think about it, other then something inside was telling me there more to life. In late Aug I went to a music festival. On the last night I decided to walk by myself. On that night i ran into this girl. From far away we both thought we looked like someone we knew till we got close to each other and realized we didn’t know each other. She was actually this girl i saw the day before talking to my friends when i was vending and i couldn’t take my eyes off her and then some person needed my help and when i looked back she was gone. We laugh and started talking. Within minutes I felt like were talking a adventure. She started to open up to me about how she just broke up with her ex after 9 years and then about her life and most of it was on point to how my life was. The whole time i wanted to know more about her and during this whole time she was always walking and talking and felt like i was chasing her in a way. We would stop and talk more. The more we talked the more we realized we were the same on how we felt about people to how we felt about life. I later lost her and never got her info. So i found her on fb threw friends she was talking to and decided to met up at a show a few weeks later. We talked before meeting up and told she other that we didn't wanna jump back into somthing and i really didnt wanna start anything. When we met she had a blast talking, dancing. We went back to her place, she told me she was on the couch and was still living with her ex and housemates. One thing lead to another and we ending up having sex in the same house her ex was sleeping in. ((I know what people are gonna say)). We would later talk more and become good friends and met up one more time over at my place. She would tell me stuff about how her ex was beating her and he was an ******* and she had a place all ready to go in Nov and was now was happier then ever. at one point we could see that we're talking a bit much a told each other to take a break....it was getting to be too much. and to slow it down. A week later or two i text her to see how she was doing and replied with "i'm doing great, my ex and I are talking again, how are you doing?" i said i was doing good and asked her if talking to her her ex meant that you two are back together? because i can't help to say i started to have feeling for you. She said "yes were back together and i'm extremely happy and thank you for being a great friend". so i reply stupidly saying how i felt about her and how really miss that we can't even be friends now. Saying if i can't see anymore i wanna tell you how i felt about you. It was a pretty long replay and knew after i SHOULD HAVE NOT done that. She never replied back that day. The next day i told her i was sorry for the way i reacted. I never said once i was mad at her or that i hated her. just that i hated me and the world. i really didn't think she would go back to him. (i couldn't just end this and not tell her how i felt i told myself) A week passed and nothing from her. so i wrote an email saying i was really sorry for the way i handles this and it was wrong for me to that to her. i said i hope he dont hate me and that if we bump into eachother i hope it's not awkward . she replied, Stop its been a week since she told me to stop and i can't stop thinking about her and hate myself for telling her how i felt and over a txt. she used to post stuff on fb but hasn't since and she she hasn't changed her relationship status yet....my best friend said maybe she did go back or will break up again....now i feel like i messed everything up.....she did post a pic of a guy that i think was her bf but then took it down a few min after....i also haven't posted anything on fb till this week i posted some pictures of my work.....i wish i could have gone to her and told her how I felt. It wasn't the sex or to fill some pain. I really miss just talking to her. I know this was all too soon and i know thats what anyone would say thats......i dont care anymore about what i'm suppose to do or can't do. i really like her a lot and know she special. I really don't wanna be in a relationship and don't want her to be mine. its not at all like that. This is strange to explain. I wish i didn't mess things up forever and she thats doesnt hate me and i know time will heal things. I know she works alot and never goes out and chances are i might not bump into her again. I think about her everyday and i can't get her out and i'm trying. first thought of the day, last thought of the night. everyday. When will this stop and will i ever get over her. I know i will get passed this, but i know i will never met someone like her and. everyone is diff and i know i will met someone else. I just know i will always be thinking about her. All I ever wanted was to get a drink and talk. She made feel like a kid again. Something i never felt. Now i wanna know Did i do the wrong thing by telling her my feelings? Will she forgive me? Will she ever talk to me again? Thanks for reading my story Edited November 7, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Heartdefeated Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 Any girl that goes back to an abusive boyfriend is not worth your time. I'm sorry to sound harsh, but true feelings don't just happen from just meeting someone. That "magical" feeling exists solely to bond you to someone for a brief period, real emotion happens when you get to know someone on a deeper level and accept all of their faults along with the positive qualities that may not be apparent in the beginning. She may be a 'Tarzan' lover who is afraid to be alone so they grab the next person before letting go of their ex, only to let go of the new person and cling back to the ex if they didnt feel a connection. It's very obvious that she didnt have the same feeling for you. She may also be one of those women who mistake jealousy and abuse with love. Either way, she sounds bat sh*t crazy to me. You also just got out of a relationship so the novelty of a new girl excited you. Rebounds seem exciting at first, but then the shiny coating wears off and you realize that she's just another person like any other. It never got to this point with you, so she still seems "shiny". Move on. 1
Author pamoose Posted November 1, 2012 Author Posted November 1, 2012 I wish we didn't meet right after our break up....wish we met up a few month from now....I opened up more to her the first night than I have with anyone even my gf.....and sure I've opened up myself to people but not like this...and I felt light and peaceful, like I just found something I lost......this is something I miss the most. It sucks being a room with my closest friends and feel alone...my whole life I've lived on the street from 3-10 years old from 16-20 years old and feeling alone is something I stop feeling a long time ago....its more that I never felt a connection with anyone in my life.....till I met her. So I'm at a lost and wish that we could at least be friends...cuz I feel like I lost a best friend.... the only person that understood me. And I yes i know I will move on and there other girls out there as nice and sweet....but to be honest, I know I will never meet someone like her..... And how can people tell me she's no diff or that she's like any other girl out there.......everyone is different.....and that's what makes this world and people special. I'm guessing the spilling the beans on how I felt about her didn't help....I don't think she hates me or is made...(hopefully)...I feel bad for telling her the way I did....I just we can start talking again. People have always said to me yo write my story as a book or something....maybe I might just do that. And hopefully get other people voices that never had a chance....they deserve to get their story out too. Hey said not....haha I can't write nor spell well...anyone good a writing?....or love to write...might need some help. Thanks again for hearing me out
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