domple Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Hey, I started dating a few weeks ago and went on a date with a girl on Sunday afternoon. She seems smart funny, same values and everything in one and I know she likes me. The only problem is that well its me, you see she is everything I am looking for but I recently discovered a month ago that I was only attracted to women who had major issues (due to a bullying issue when I was younger and in simple terms I felt I could help them). Realising this I know its not healthy and have made a conscious decision to break free and to meet someone I can grow with instead of trying to fix. To be honest this girl is great but I feel no chemistry, I just don’t know, besides her being a bit chubby I do find her attractive and we laughed and laughed on our first meeting and had a great time and I know I would like to meet her again. Am I just being silly and as my parents said to give it time as I need to get used to liking a girl who is “emotionally healthy”. I am 31 and she’s 28, I don’t want to rush into anything but this is the first time I have felt so conflicted. Like I know she’s great but I don’t care… its different from not having any interest. I must sound off my chops I just don’t know what to do as this is different for me
SmileFace Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Besides dating girls with problems what have you actually done to fix this issue. You have found the core but have you gotten over it. You may need to work on yourself and not take this girl on the ride while you do.
Author domple Posted October 30, 2012 Author Posted October 30, 2012 I have been to therapy and the phycologist said that I was ready to date even though it was a recent discovery. She said because I now know the difference then I should be fine. It all stemmed from bullied in school till year 8 leaving me insecure and wanting girls who have issues I also don't want to take anyone for a ride. I do want to meet someone but not at the expense of others. It's just weird when people say your fine just keep going
Ami1uwant Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 As for the date...the rules I use.....If the first date went well you enjoied your time and had fun have a second date and see how it goes. Stop believing in love at first sight or finding fault. As for these issues of you wanting to be the helper ...you are conciously aware of it and can be proactive about it. Remember everyone can use help in different ways...maybe not from the standpoint of hero/rescuer
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