SJC2008 Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 I was raised a Christian and still am although I haven't went to church consistantly in years. I do question my faith from time to time as faith is hard. TBS I do want to marry a Christian woman and get more involved in the church mabye witht the royal rangers (those are basically boy scouts in the church for those who don't know). I met a nice woman online and we haven't met yet due to us being busy but we've been texting and she seems like the ultimate sweetheart. I find her attractive and she seems honest as she listed herself a few extra pounds when I've dated woman online bigger than her who lised themselves as average. We've been flirting a little, nothing over the top but she flirts back so I like that. When I tried to flirt with the woman I was sprung on I got radio silence lol! Anyway, she lists herself as non-religious. Ok fine but I live in the what if? What if I fall in love with her and want to marry her?? Yeah that's thinking WAY ahead but you never know! How would that work out? I don't neccessarily think it's right to raise a kid in the church becasue kids don't know and would beleive anything taught to them. I think something like faith should be left up to them when they are old enough to make the decision for themselves whether they want to follow or not. So I have that going for me in that I won't force us to go to Church but what if my stand on this changes and I want my kids brought up in the church. I'd hate to date her and fall in love and hurt her and not marry her because she's not a Chritian.
xdahliax Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 You say you want to marry a Christian and get involved in the church. Then you say that you don't want to introduce your children to Christianity. You cannot marry a Christian woman, be involved in the church and not have it influence your children. Make up your mind and then come back and ask. 2
Author SJC2008 Posted October 30, 2012 Author Posted October 30, 2012 You say you want to marry a Christian and get involved in the church. Then you say that you don't want to introduce your children to Christianity. You cannot marry a Christian woman, be involved in the church and not have it influence your children. Make up your mind and then come back and ask. I understand your point but like I said what if I change my mind and want to raise my kids in church? I flip flop on this because like I said sometims I sruggle with my faith, it's a normal part of being a Christian.
xdahliax Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 I understand your point but like I said what if I change my mind and want to raise my kids in church? I flip flop on this because like I said sometims I sruggle with my faith, it's a normal part of being a Christian. The problem is that you're not just foreseeing flip-flopping, you already are flip-flopping. That makes it very difficult to give any advice. Being a Christian myself, I would say that you should marry a Christian woman. Not only because it could do wonders for your faith, but because I think you're more likely to have strong feelings of regret over marrying a non-Christian than over marrying a Christian.
El Brujo Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Strangely enough, all the Christian women I've known, just about had heart attacks when I told them how much Christianity has in common with Islam. As for me, I'm non-religious, but sympathetic to Neo-Paganism... though as far as mainstream goes, I tend to be attracted to certain Jewish women.
xdahliax Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Strangely enough, all the Christian women I've known, just about had heart attacks when I told them how much Christianity has in common with Islam. As for me, I'm non-religious, but sympathetic to Neo-Paganism... though as far as mainstream goes, I tend to be attracted to certain Jewish women. Most monotheistic religions share similarities, but Christianity is much more related to Judaism. My father's side of the family is Muslim and my mother's side is Christian, so I've been exposed to both religions. I can say that they are quite different, overall, and that people who compare Christianity to Islam normally do it to get a rise out of others.
jolbell Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Based on my experience, I am now only willing to date men who are Christian or apathetic/indifferent. I have to know upfront that they will be OK with my wanting to attend church as a family in future. In the past, religion was not a factor in the men that I chose. I regret that now. I dated a Jewish guy for 2 years. We talked marriage and kids. Everything came to a standstill because suddenly our religious roots became stronger and stronger as we dreamed of having a family. It was a hard breakup.
Eve Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 I was raised a Christian and still am although I haven't went to church consistantly in years. I do question my faith from time to time as faith is hard. TBS I do want to marry a Christian woman and get more involved in the church mabye witht the royal rangers (those are basically boy scouts in the church for those who don't know). I met a nice woman online and we haven't met yet due to us being busy but we've been texting and she seems like the ultimate sweetheart. I find her attractive and she seems honest as she listed herself a few extra pounds when I've dated woman online bigger than her who lised themselves as average. We've been flirting a little, nothing over the top but she flirts back so I like that. When I tried to flirt with the woman I was sprung on I got radio silence lol! Anyway, she lists herself as non-religious. Ok fine but I live in the what if? What if I fall in love with her and want to marry her?? Yeah that's thinking WAY ahead but you never know! How would that work out? I don't neccessarily think it's right to raise a kid in the church becasue kids don't know and would beleive anything taught to them. I think something like faith should be left up to them when they are old enough to make the decision for themselves whether they want to follow or not. So I have that going for me in that I won't force us to go to Church but what if my stand on this changes and I want my kids brought up in the church. I'd hate to date her and fall in love and hurt her and not marry her because she's not a Chritian. I think it is important to be on the same page about the big issues such as abortion etc which often are determined by ones faith. I would test the waters by asking questions about such things before getting too involved as personal beliefs simply are who a person really is at the core. .. Just be sure of what you believe and why in the first instance. Remember, the honeymoon stage is sweet regardless of ones faith.. it's what comes after that matters, so yes, identify where you will each will draw your strength, compassion etc. Take care, Eve x
xxoo Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Couples can have different faiths, as long as they respect each other's beliefs. That is difficult to do if you believe that yours is true, and other's beliefs are wrong, but it doesn't sound like you feel that strongly about it. Raising the kids with structure and community of church, but also with the permission to question and explore other faith possibilities, sounds like a nice middle ground to me. I'm non-religious, but would have no problem with that. A good question for her might be: how would you feel about your children learning a faith tradition during childhood?
HeldbyGravity Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 (edited) Before you decide on this woman or get seriously involved with her, I think you need to work on how you feel about your faith. I say this not because I think it couldn't work out for you, but because if you really, really want to marry a Christian woman (or decide you should have later), you need to know for sure- or else you will end up marrying someone who you find you cannot fully connect to later, or a Christian woman who finds she cannot connect to YOU! If you WOULD end up raising your kids in the Christian faith, you want them to be of strong faith, yes? Faith is something that will grow as you do, and it's fine to have doubts, it's completely normal to question and explore. People forget that their faith is like a living organism, growing in ways you would have never expected and in need of sustenance to keep it going. But you are going to be the first spiritual example to your kids. They will pick up on how you believe and what you do with your faith. They will do what You and your future wife do. Just keep that in mind. Edited October 30, 2012 by HeldbyGravity 1
aj22one Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 You're thinking way too much ahead. There are no assurances in life. You could marry a Christian woman who decides 10 years from now that she don't wanna remain a Christian (convert to another faith or just no faith). It happens. If you have kids they could learn about other religions and join one of them no matter how you parent them growing up haha. Her being non-religious is a little easier than her being of another religion though. haha The important thing is to support each other in every aspect of life, even if you disagree. I have extensive experience with interfaith dating (and marriage now haha) so I know some of the ins and outs haha. Just take it one step at a time and go from there.
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