lvixen Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 I'm not sure what to make of these things, LS... This weekend my boyfriend of a couple of months was with me at my place. We met on OKCupid. A little while ago he said he would change his profile to "seeing someone" but never did. He was on my computer and said, "oh, I completely forgot about OKCupid, I guess I should change my status now." So he went to do so and he had gotten a message from some chick a couple of weeks back (he hadn't logged onto that site since then). She initially messaged him in which he replied, "sorry, I'm in a relationship right now, but I'll keep you in mind if things change." How do I know? He flat out told me he said that. I was dumbfounded, thinking WTF? So I asked him WHY he did that and he said, "I've had bad experiences with women in the past who just end up leaving the relationship for another guy, I wanted to leave my options open." This infuriated me and he clearly didn't understand why I'd get upset about that. But I figured at least he wasn't cheating on me so I let it go. Today I'm talking to him on Facebook and he says, "some girl that I hit on before I met you poked me today." Now I'm in tears, not understanding why he'd tell me that. It's seriously making me second guess the relationship. The sad thing is, I used to trust him, but not anymore. I'm seeing him tomorrow, but honestly I don't feel like it anymore. Am I just overreacting? Should I just let it go? Thanks.
River Rain Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 He probably told you about the "poke" because he wanted to be honest with you in case you found out later on. I think you're overreacting.
pteromom Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 I think you are overreacting too, but I think you are wise to note what he said in case this ends up being a pattern of his (bringing up other women to make you jealous.) At this point, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt that he's just very honest.
SJC2008 Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 He sounds insensitive IMO. Why the eff would he tell you some chick he asked out online poked him? Sounds like he's trying to raise his stock by making you jealous, very immature. Now he could be insecure from getting BBD'd online which is possible. He did tell you he's keeping his options open because women in the past left him so I'm willing to bet it's a power play, he's trying to get the upper hand. Do you know if he met the women who left him IRl or online??
Author lvixen Posted October 30, 2012 Author Posted October 30, 2012 He sounds insensitive IMO. Why the eff would he tell you some chick he asked out online poked him? Sounds like he's trying to raise his stock by making you jealous, very immature. Now he could be insecure from getting BBD'd online which is possible. He did tell you he's keeping his options open because women in the past left him so I'm willing to bet it's a power play, he's trying to get the upper hand. Do you know if he met the women who left him IRl or online?? He met her online I believe, on another dating website.
SJC2008 Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 He met her online I believe, on another dating website. Not the poke girl. The previous women who left him. Did he meet them online? If he did that may explain his behavior.
Author lvixen Posted October 30, 2012 Author Posted October 30, 2012 Not the poke girl. The previous women who left him. Did he meet them online? If he did that may explain his behavior. Yup, he met her online on another dating website, lavalife I think.
Yookie Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 1) You're overreacting. 2) Some pokes are fake. Most are generated by facebook (not the person).
SmileFace Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Crying? Really, is it that serious? What you are going to tell him - tell her not to poke him. He has no control over that. You are way overracting.
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