Dazed_Confused1989 Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Hi everyone, First, some context: I was with the love of my life for ~5 years, she was my lover, my best friend and my life. We were going to get engaged shortly. I believe GIGs set in. We are in our mid twenties. BU was early September. The first month was horrible. I even thought about committing suicide. It was the lowest point in my life. I moved on the anger stage in mid October. I feel like I've reverted back into the grief stage - likely because our anniversary is coming up. I have this sense of false hope. I'm in the pits and she's living life. I'm just so upset right now. And have this urge to get in contact - but I know it will just burn me. I want to see her, show her how I've changed myself and just do the little amazing things we used to do, like go ice skating. But I'm not ready to face her...it feels like I'll never be able to. No real question - I'm depressed, frustrated and down. Any support would be amazing.
Venom114 Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 I'm terribly sorry, I was with my girlfriend for 5 years and 9 months..she left me on the 19th of September.. So I guess I'm in a similar situation. She was my first and only, my everything. When she left, my entire world fell apart. The first month was the worst, I started getting better but I feel I'm also back to the grieving stage after hearing one of our songs play on my iPod.. But just know your not alone man. I'm in the exact same position as you, time wise and all. I'd say it gets better but I honestly don't know if it will anytime soon because I'm literally at the same stage as you in this. But if you need any help, feel free to message me if you wanna talk about it. Sorry about your loss 1
21flames Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Chin up dude I know your in pieces and you feel terrible but you will feel better. I still have good and bad days, ups and downs, it's not going to take a matter of weeks to get over someone you where with for years. I have read you other post, she didn't cheat or leave you for someone right?
Author Dazed_Confused1989 Posted October 30, 2012 Author Posted October 30, 2012 No, she didn't cheat or lie or leave for anyone. She was also quite distraught at the time of breakup. It killed her inside, but felt like she was 'trapped'. She "lost feelings" after being comfortable for 5 years. I've analyzed the relationship for countless hours. I know exactly what I would have done to fix this and we've talked about it a little bit immediately after the break-up. But she does not want a relationship right now, with me or anybody. I just can't seem to give it up.
21flames Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Then Just give it time and her time. Could be worse she could have been going with someone behind your back and left for them also she has made it clear she doesn't want any relationship atm which should be a relief to know she's not seeking someone else.
Heartdefeated Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 I understand your pain. About a month ago, I was practically a zombie from the pain and misery from a break up. Just when you feel that all hope is lost, you will start to feel 'normal' again. Please look up info on giving people with GIGS space. I followed the advice I read on these boards to the tee and my ex is now regretting his decision. Unfortunately, you will be one who is missing her while she tries to clear her head. My ex (reconciling) was overwhelmed with life and may have had a manic/depressive episode. Does she have any outside stressors that would have triggered the break up? Give her the time and space she needs if indicated. She will be grateful that you love her enough to consider her feelings of not wanting a relationship right now. It's REALLY hard though!!! Keep your chin up and love yourself first. Even if it does not work out, you will have discovered that you are worth more than any relationship. 1
Author Dazed_Confused1989 Posted October 30, 2012 Author Posted October 30, 2012 I don't think she has any outside stressors. She just came to that realization right before we finished up schooling and began our jobs. I love her so much, and always want the best for her. It's so difficult seeing that she is 'happy' - I know that sounds contradictory - but I just don't see how someone can go from being so emotionally attached to nothing. I don't want her to forget about me by letting her be... But I know I have to to heal...
plee61 Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 I am sorry about your BU. Does she have friends who know about the BU? May be talking to friends of you both will help to get over...it takes time. Good luck
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