Venom114 Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 I was with my ex girlfriend for 5 years 9 months and 5 days..until she left me on the 19th of this past September. We had been together from junior high all through high school and for about 2 years after high school. She said she wanted to find herself and she thought we got together at a really young age, we never really grew up. Later she admitted to not being in love with me for the past 7 months but didn't know how to tell me.. Well I would call her very other night for the first two weeks and occasionally beg her to take me back, telling her I'd do anything (because I would, and still will), up until she got mad and told me to "let her live her life" and to basically leave her alone. So about 3 days after that (October 5th) I gathered all my feelings, I called her and told her that I didn't agree with her decision but I respected it, and I'd leave her alone. So I did, I broke all contact, never called/texted/emailed etc. after i told her that. So a few weeks pass, and she called me last night (October 28th) balling and crying saying she messed up her email and was having a nervous breakdown over it, I was the first person she could think to call, she didn't want to hurt me, she said she just wanted to hear me say "it's gonna be ok" (I think it was an excuse to call me but I'm not sure..) anyways, we talked for about 4 1/2 hours about everything (feelings and all) she told me she missed me being around, my touch, my feel, just my presents in general...but what threw me off was that she still doesn't want me back, she said she didn't want me completely out of her life, she still wants me there but she doesn't want a relationship right now, when I asked if her and I would ever have a chance again, she said "maybe" but not anytime soon, she just wants to "let it happen and see where life takes it". Well we got off the phone and then she called this morning asking me a question about her phone and eventually admitted to using that as an excuse to call me.. We sort of agreed to be on talking terms and agreed that we could call each other and talk.. I've worked so hard at getting to where I am, being able to go days without crying, and force her away from my heart, being able to ignore thoughts of her for the most part.. But after she called last night..I feel like I'm starting from day 1 all over again. And now Idk what any of this means..I'm so lost, I'm devastated, I'm in love with a girl that's not in love with me, I just need help, this girl is everything to me, i spent my entire teenage life with her and id spend the rest of my life with her if she would return the feelings.. idk what I can possibly do or what anything means right now.. Would it be better if I told her we shouldn't talk and broke contact again? Or is this her slowly wanting me back and me breaking contact might ruin that? Please, any input would be appreciated.. Idk what to do. And if you read the entire thing, I thank you for taking the time to read it and possibly help me.. So thank you.
mammasita Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 First, you can't do anything to change her mind. Second, focus on you. Do no contact if you feel like you you need that time to heal. If she doesn't want you back but wants to be "friends", I'm afraid i sounds like she's keeping you at arms length as a backup plan.
Author Venom114 Posted October 30, 2012 Author Posted October 30, 2012 She wants me there to comfort her when she needs it because nobody else can do that for her, I guess that's why she called me last night. But now I'm starting all over again..idk what to do, should I break contact again..?
frd150 Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 She wants me there to comfort her when she needs it because nobody else can do that for her, I guess that's why she called me last night. But now I'm starting all over again..idk what to do, should I break contact again..? This happened to me a few years ago. A live in relationship of three years. She was my world. She was doing to me exactly what this girl is doing to you all the while she was seeing someone. She kept me at arms length until she was sure of the new guy. Her keeping her options open and calling me all the time was just keeping me from moving on. I', not saying your girl has someone else. I wish I would have just asked her point blank what she wanted from me. Maybe you can find the right time to do what I never did. Protect yourself. I feel for you.
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