hurtnomorerika Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 I cant stop stalking my Ex-MM and his wife on twitter. I try really hard, but I let my curiosity get the best of me. Anybody else experience this, how did you stop?
MissBee Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 (edited) I used to do that to my ex. I unfollowed him to cut down on it, so I wouldn't automatically see his updates. Nevertheless I would still deliberately check. I cultivated the willpower to stop, after the 100th time of checking and being hurt or obsessed with the things he was saying/not saying about his life. I just realized I was torturing myself unnecessarily and that reading into his one liners were just too much. I decided I wanted to move on and pretty much had a competition with myself about how long I could go without checking. The longer I went, the more empowered I felt, it was like: I've gone 3 weeks with no checking? Awesome! It made me feel like I had my life back and was in control versus the stalking of his Twitter made me feel very out of control. What I don't know can't hurt me. I'd tell myself that each time I had the urge. 9/10 times I'd be hurt or spend the rest of the day obsessing over his posts when I checked, so knowing that, I reasoned with myself that not looking was usually a better bet, as the pain of looking far exceeded the reward. Edited October 29, 2012 by MissBee 1
ThatJustHappened Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 I stalked an ex of mine on Facebook once. I deleted my account in order to avoid temptation. I'm so happy I did that..I never looked back.
Author hurtnomorerika Posted October 29, 2012 Author Posted October 29, 2012 I used to do that to my ex. I unfollowed him to cut down on it, so I wouldn't automatically see his updates. Nevertheless I would still deliberately check. I cultivated the willpower to stop, after the 100th time of checking and being hurt or obsessed with the things he was saying/not saying about his life. I just realized I was torturing myself unnecessarily and that reading into his one liners were just too much. I decided I wanted to move on and pretty much had a competition with myself about how long I could go without checking. The longer I went, the more empowered I felt, it was like: I've gone 3 weeks with no checking? Awesome! It made me feel like I had my life back and was in control versus the stalking of his Twitter made me feel very out of control. What I don't know can't hurt me. I'd tell myself that each time I had the urge. 9/10 times I'd be hurt or spend the rest of the day obsessing over his posts when I checked, so knowing that, I reasoned with myself that not looking was usually a better bet, as the pain of looking far exceeded the reward. THANKS SO MUCH! Now I know that Im not alone. You're right trying to read into they're tweets and messages can be so mind boggling, depressing, and confusing. Then, I die inside everytime I read something that I dont like or see something his wife posts that refers to their relationship or anything of that nature. Im going to try the competition with myself to see how long I can go without checking his and her twitters. It has become like a addiction, mentally Im drained. Thanks, for your input. 1
BrokenPrincess Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 This will make you feel better: I had a low moment yesterday morning & checked out my exMMs daughters twitters & Instagram. (We're not fb friends anymore & he doesn't do anything else) Needless to say one had posted a pic of him & W and boy did I feel worse. I'm challenging myself to read ANYTHING else online than do that again, even if its 5 year old LS posts! Lol 1
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 I check my ex's twitter everyday lol and I don't follow him anymore but I still look
RickFox Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 You stop when you realize it is not healthy, that you aren't doing anything but hurting yourself each and every time. That's when you stop. Bottom line is you're making the decision to 'stalk' so you can make the decision to end the stalking. Shortly after the school year started, someone has been trying to access my FB account every morning and shortly thereafter they try to get in my wife's. Nobody else we know gets notifications about denied access and my wife believes it's xMW. I gotta say, if it is, well.... pathetic.
canuckprincess Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 My FB gets stalked by my mm's wife. She checks it on a regular basis. Not sure what she's hoping to find, and don't care what she finds. I have nothing to hide from anyone. I just sometimes worry that it may upset her when she reads all the wonderful comments my friends write about me. Turns out I'm an inspiration to alot of people because of some extreme changes I've made in my life.
TurningTables Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 I cant stop stalking my Ex-MM and his wife on twitter. I try really hard, but I let my curiosity get the best of me. Anybody else experience this, how did you stop? Hi. When I read this, my heart broke for you. Yes, I did this also, but along the lines of Facebook. xMM sent me countless of friend requests after I broke things off. After a long while, curiousity got the best of me, and I accepted that request to take a peak. What I saw broke my heart all over again. There they were, the three of them: xMM, his W and his child. Over and over family pictures of them through the year we hadnt talked- smiling for Halloween, Christmas, out and about pics..etc. It made me so mad that he had lied to me and it hurt enough to finally block him, his W and his family. Sometimes I think its good for us fOW/fOM to look at our AP's fb, twitter, etc. Its reminds us of how much they lied to us, hurt us and how they are going on with their lives. The anger and hurt will drive us to stay away, allowing for us to heal. Please block them. Now that youve had your look- I hope that it gives you motive to move on with your life. You will NEVER heal by looking back. Look forward to your own future and not his. Sooner or later, you wont want to look and he will seem like a distant memory. You will wake up and he will be gone from you. Good Luck!
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