Marly Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 (edited) Here is my story, kind of long, but please read and comment. I am married to an amazing man who loves me and worships the ground I walk on. He adores everything about me but can sometimes be slightly obsessive. I have a controlling type personality which works well with him because he's very timid and lets me make all the decisions. He is not a talker at all and I find that being one of our biggest problems. I begin to get bored and started having problems with connecting on an emotional level with him. About a year ago I started to outsource for more stimulating communication and found myself talking to an old high school fling. I could talk to him for hours and connect on a very deep emotional level which I thoroughly enjoyed. He is also very alpha male, unlike my spouse, and I was extremely lured to that. Thinking that the grass would be greener, I decided to leave my husband for this man. It was great I the beginning. I fell deeply in love with him and we started making plans to move in together. As time went on I began feeling emotionally abused and belittled by him on several occasions. Although we still had amazing talks and had some really fun times together, I felt like I was slowly being taken over and controlled. We fought everyday and it was a constant battle for power. I decided to end the relationship and in a fit of rage he did some horrible things to try and tarnish my name and reputation. Basically anything he could do to hurt me. I have since cut off all contact with him and decided to get back with my husband. Things are going great, but I find myself missing him terribly and craving the drama of that toxic roller coaster. I always say he brought out the best and worst in me. I'm trying to focus on the positives in my marriage and quit thinking about the past but I just can't seem to get him off my mind. Edited October 29, 2012 by Marly
TigerCub Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 I'm sorry, I'm not one to usually say mean things here ... but You don't deserve your husband! I feel bad for him that his self esteem is so low that he'll settle for being with someone that is clearly settling for him. You want help - look around you and appreciate the man that gave you a second chance, if you can't find the good in there and you keep yearning for the guy that treated you like crap - then maybe you need to get a divorce. and hey! when you're single, the chase is ON!! for sure!! That's one of the best things about being single and being free to date whomever you want.
Author Marly Posted October 29, 2012 Author Posted October 29, 2012 Don't be sorry. A good slap in the face is exactly what I need. I am extremely lucky to be with my husband and I don't want to feel like im settling. He does have very low self esteem, and is constantly saying he doesn't deserve me, despite my actions to give him self worth. I absolutely do NOT want to be back with the jerk who came between us, but the emotions he invoked in me is what I miss. Actually feeling something... I want to move past this and have a strong relationship with my husband, but we always seem right back in the same situation with no real communication or connection.
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