WHat Really happened? WHy did he do this to me?? why cant i move on?

[miaberry]

I was with this guy for 4 years.. on and off. Off is when he would be mean and cruel to me until i leave him alone. Then "On" months later he came to find me when he was struggling and i helped him because i knew he'd be out in the street. He told me things would get better once he got more established with his job. But soon after he started to distance himself.. and only seeing me once a week for late at night and HAD to leave early in the morning for work. i kept telling him he was treating me like a booty call and he said "it may look that way but its not what it is" and he said he'd try and make more time. Instead he started to distance himself, and he would have time to hang out with his buds at night. He'd make excuses that he lived "too far now, and was concerned about me driving late" (Its like 15-20 min from my house- Not far at all) He then would get very upset everytime i mentioned he wasnt trying to see me more or even at a decent hour. (i wasnt asking for a whole day just not late at night anymore.. come on the "time spent" was really just him having sex with me and then getting ready to leave early would be my only time to even have a convo with him.)Soon he just became more and more disrespectful, i started to tell him he must be seeing someone else, and then he would say.. I was always piss him off. and horrible names. He then cut me out of his life, and told me that he was sick and tired of me. Of me always "complaining" whenever i told him he was treating me bad. That i never gave him a chance to "make things right". it would be like pulling teeth to just hang out with him, and when he did hang out with me he would try and convince me to go to one of his other friends parties. IT kills me to know that he just used me and told me "what i wanted to hear" and "he has no use for me anymore" he completely denys just using me for sex. And when he moved he really had no intension to keep me in his life. He has a job now and completely doesnt care that i helped him sooooo many times when he was broke.

 

I just want him to admit what he did. ADMIT that what he did was wrong. ITs been 7 months now and still i just cant let it go. Im so angry and just want him to admit. i just want closure. Theres not one day i go buy that i dont think of how wrong he did me and how shady he did me. If he wouldnt have lied and told me and created this fantasy life things would be better when he got a job type stuff. I coulndt be so upset. I want to feel normal as i have lost myself. No feeling.

 

So reading this.. what happened/?

[River Rain]

I didn't read the whole thing but I see you wrote that you want him to admit to wrongdoing and it's been 7 months. You can't will a person to admit to anything, by holding on to this anger you're just continuing to torture yourself. If he's going to admit to anything, it will be his own decision, but you can't hold on to that expectation because it may never happen.