Headintheclouds Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Its been 8 months since the breakup and 6 solid months of NC. My life has changed considerably. There is so much positive that has come from all of this. I'm a cyclist, and I race road, cyclocross and track. Since the breakup I have excelled and pushed harder and farther than ever. I am having a successful racing season and have been placing very well. I've built up a lot of confidence. On the other side, I just don't know what I'm doing anymore. I feel like I'm just floating through life when I'm not training or racing. I have no energy or drive left when I'm at work. I am miserable there. I'd like another job but have no motivation to update my resume or find a way out. I have met a few women since the breakup. 4 to be exact. I'd have to say that 2 of them were really amazing. Beautiful, outgoing, smart, sexy...everything one would want. I shut down everything between every one of them. I just don't feel "perfect" with any of them. I find no spark. I feel like I am not allowing it to happen. When one thing strikes me wrong, I end it. I have no patience. I just want to feel like I once did with my ex. I want to feel that charge again. I really don't want to be with anyone unless I feel like its everything I need. There are times where I feel great, but truth is I am always in pain to some extent. I saw some photos of her recently on Facebook. Her name popped up in a friends feed and I took a look at her recent photos. They were mostly of her and her new BF looking super happy. I never go looking at her stuff, and it was probably a bad idea. It messed me up a bit for sure. Looking back I feel like I was so passive with the breakup. I never put up a fight. I just thought there was nothing I could do and I just let it happen. I sometimes wonder if it was the right decision. I guess I'm just not sure where I'm at. Right now all I want is for this pain to end. Its not always strong, but there are still moments. I am writing this now because today was one of those moments... 3
taya Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 awww am sorry and yes you will still have those moments but you got to still fight them away, when you fall for another girl thats when i think you will let your ex go completly ..and when you say you dident fight i would say what you did was the right thing people are always going to do what they want to do know matter if we beg or cry or fight with them ..she wanted to leave nothing you could do about that atleast you let her go stll having your self respect ..some people beg cry fight cry beg make a fool out of them self guess what that person still left them any way
taya Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Its been 8 months since the breakup and 6 solid months of NC. My life has changed considerably. There is so much positive that has come from all of this. I'm a cyclist, and I race road, cyclocross and track. Since the breakup I have excelled and pushed harder and farther than ever. I am having a successful racing season and have been placing very well. I've built up a lot of confidence. On the other side, I just don't know what I'm doing anymore. I feel like I'm just floating through life when I'm not training or racing. I have no energy or drive left when I'm at work. I am miserable there. I'd like another job but have no motivation to update my resume or find a way out. I have met a few women since the breakup. 4 to be exact. I'd have to say that 2 of them were really amazing. Beautiful, outgoing, smart, sexy...everything one would want. I shut down everything between every one of them. I just don't feel "perfect" with any of them. I find no spark. I feel like I am not allowing it to happen. When one thing strikes me wrong, I end it. I have no patience. I just want to feel like I once did with my ex. I want to feel that charge again. I really don't want to be with anyone unless I feel like its everything I need. There are times where I feel great, but truth is I am always in pain to some extent. I saw some photos of her recently on Facebook. Her name popped up in a friends feed and I took a look at her recent photos. They were mostly of her and her new BF looking super happy. I never go looking at her stuff, and it was probably a bad idea. It messed me up a bit for sure. Looking back I feel like I was so passive with the breakup. I never put up a fight. I just thought there was nothing I could do and I just let it happen. I sometimes wonder if it was the right decision. I guess I'm just not sure where I'm at. Right now all I want is for this pain to end. Its not always strong, but there are still moments. I am writing this now because today was one of those moments... and i have to say good job on the 6month nc some people never make it that far that just shows how strong you are ..
Author Headintheclouds Posted October 29, 2012 Author Posted October 29, 2012 Thanks Taya! Honestly the 6 months has flown by. There are many moments where I feel that I would be fine at this point talking to her, yet I keep trucking on.
Sav Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Keep hanging in there. You're like my inspiration or smth for now since I am a good 3-4 months into NC. It shows that people can actually do it..dont give in 1
Tree_Salmon Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Thanks Taya! Honestly the 6 months has flown by. There are many moments where I feel that I would be fine at this point talking to her, yet I keep trucking on. Your NC story sounds very similar to my own. I have been pushing all these great girls away but I figure it's because im just not ready to date yet. I just don't feel like I will make that connection again. It would be hard to find someone I had so much in common with, but I keep hearing that this will happen. At this moment I'm continuing to concentrate on myself and am finally starting to feel charged and excited about things again. So I know you will get your encouragement back eventually. For a long time (a year almost) i was just living and not really looking forward to much. It gets better after a certain point. And looking at her pictures is a bad idea for many reasons. One of which is, your mind will make it better than it actually is. People are full of it, don't be fooled by the appearance of the relationship. Chances are its not that great.
taya Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Thanks Taya! Honestly the 6 months has flown by. There are many moments where I feel that I would be fine at this point talking to her, yet I keep trucking on. aww that show how strong you are and keep doing your thing your doing great and we all have weak moments you just have to fight them away think about it she left ..so you have to move on with your life if she really wanted to be with you she woudent have leave so set her free and find a woman that will never leave ya
taya Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Keep hanging in there. You're like my inspiration or smth for now since I am a good 3-4 months into NC. It shows that people can actually do it..dont give in so so ture
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