albr2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 I'm been married 14 years. I met a man who is married (33 yrs) and I fell for him. He is 62, I'm 46. He owns his own comapny. We met in April, I facilitated the next "impromptu" run into each other in June, got together in early July and fooled around. He arranged that one! I called him after and said I could not do this and jepordize my marriage & family. He said he couldn't afford to leave his wife. I should have left it at that... In August, I called him and we talked. II couldn't get him out of my head. He said we'd get together. He called later in the month and invited me for a ride in his cool truck! Woohoo! By the time we coordinated it was Labor Day weekend. We had a nice time, he asked me out for the following week & we met the next week. He volunteered he was busy the following weekend. His wife was out of town for a month and he was having a party with his buddies. That's fine with me - I never did ANYTHING like this before. He mentioned that he is fat (so not a good body image) and that he is a "dirty old man" for fooling around with me. He takes Viagra since "it" doesn't always work. He loses his mind when I'm around and I can tell I effect him. He said he is nervous talking on the phone with me and I am with him. I can tell he is interested - in something! We talked after that and I invited him to get together the 3rd week in Sept. He mentioned that he is quite a bit older -I said it didn't matter. So he planned it and we got together again. He said he thinks about me, dreams of me and wishes we met 30 years earlier. (OK, I would have been jail bait! But we didn't make plans for a next time. I am soooo stupid around him - I can't always think straight! His wife came home in the beginning of Oct. from a month away. I called a few times mid-month, he either answered or called me back. He seems quite receptive talking with me. We talk fine, he laughs, sounds like he enjoys the conversation, asks about what I'm doing, says we'll get together again and not to worry. Really, honestly, I'm fine with once in awhile (once every 6-8 weeks). If you figure out schedules, committments, and free time - that is about what it amounts to without arousing any suspicion. Calling time - there is not a lot of time we can call each other since spouses are at home. Calling during work hours is not really an option. He is off work about an hour or less before my hubby gets home. It's been 5 weeks since we've seen each other and 2 weeks since we talked ont he phone. Am I being stupid thinking that we'll see each other again and that he's interested? Do you think he is concerned about age, 'it" not working, lack of body confidence, the 16 yr. age difference? I am in shape, take care of myself and am self confident. I just started 2 companies - one in spring and I am launching another this next mo. I am not after his money, do not want to marry him I just want his body and to spend some time with a fun person! I like him - he is funny, makes me laugh, he's sexy, passionate and hot, it seems as if there is no one else in the world the few times we saw each other. His wife is leaving for a few weeks at Christmas and I have my neighbor's house I'm taking care of... and his wife will be away... But Christmas is so long away. Should I call again? Am I stupid? If so, what do I say? Thanks for reading!
BetrayedH Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Sounds like fun and games. Of course, that's just until you destroy two families. What's also likely is that, given some time, you will realize that you are just a pleasing little side dish to this man and nothing more. How much time would you like to subject yourself to that position? 3
Bryanp Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 How would you feel if your husband was doing to you behind your back what you are doing to him? 2
Author albr2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Author Posted October 29, 2012 Hey, he is MY side dish - not the other way around! Let's get that straight!
BetrayedH Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Hey, he is MY side dish - not the other way around! Let's get that straight! You keep telling yourself that. I wonder how many of you he has on the side. You think you are his first other woman? This is your first time on the merry go round and you clearly have a lot to learn. 1
GorillaTheater Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 This is your first time on the merry go round I'm not too sure we can assume that, at least judging by how cavalier she is about the whole thing. Makes we wonder about what she's trying to accomplish here. 1
Owl Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 What advice are you hoping to hear, here? Are you asking if you should continue your affair? Asking if you should end it? Wanting to know HOW to continue, or HOW to end it? Just a heads up...most of the folks who post here are the ones who have been betrayed...so the advice and viewpoints you'll get are likely going to be from that angle. If you find that that "angle" doesn't suit you, you may find other websites more to your liking. But...if you're looking for insight on what the likely outcomes or impacts of all of this is likely to be...or if you're looking for information on how to end your affair and/or rebiuld your marriage...this is a pretty good site for that. Given that...think about what "support" you're hoping to find, and decide if this is the right place for you or not. Just my suggestion to help. 3
BetrayedH Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 I'm not too sure we can assume that, at least judging by how cavalier she is about the whole thing. Makes we wonder about what she's trying to accomplish here. She said in her OP that she never did anything like this before. Just going off that premise.
Steen719 Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Perhaps you would get more support in the OW/OM threads. As Owl said, most of us are on the receiving end of what you are giving. Of course, you can stay, but you may not find what you are looking for. You don't sound 46. You sound about 18. If he had married you 30 years ago (or 28 to make you legal), he would be doing this to you, not his wife. You might want to try that on. I feel for your husband, I really do. You don't seem to care at all that you are doing this to him, just whether you can meet up with this man again. Oh well...... 2
stillafool Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Hey, he is MY side dish - not the other way around! Let's get that straight! Wow, you definitely sound like a real sweetheart. Have you thought about a divorce? That way you can go after other men to have fun and gain attention without destroying this mans marriage. 1
pteromom Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 I'm sure he IS interested. It's free sex, right? Why wouldn't he be? I don't think you should fool yourself into thinking it is something special or that he is interested in YOU as a person though. He already has a wife. The bigger question you need to be asking yourself is what you are getting out of this. Do you love your husband? If not, would you be better off just leaving him and moving on? You are playing with fire, and it's only a matter of time until you get burned. And unfortunately, your family will be burned too. 1
woinlove Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Should I call again? Am I stupid? If so, what do I say? No. I don't know, but it sounds like you are behaving foolishly. Really? You are 46 and you want us to tell you what to say?
BeholdtheMan Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Am I stupid?From the way you type, I would say yes
Author albr2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Author Posted October 30, 2012 Thak you to all who answered you helped me come up with a slant for my college term paper in my psychology class.
stillafool Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Thak you to all who answered you helped me come up with a slant for my college term paper in my psychology class. :lmao:Yeah, right!
BetrayedH Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Thak you to all who answered you helped me come up with a slant for my college term paper in my psychology class. You did more typing than anyone. Hmm. Wonder what that says.
Just a Guy Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 This person sounds like a troll to me. Maybe just my view and I may be wrong.
BetrayedH Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 This person sounds like a troll to me. Maybe just my view and I may be wrong. I wonder if it's a college student doing some research for a psychology paper.
GorillaTheater Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 I wonder if it's a college student doing some research for a psychology paper. I wonder what the premise was? "If I pretend to be someone twice my age, but type like a teen and mention the fact that I'm enthralled with my much-older affair partner's cool truck, will people point and laugh?" 3
BetrayedH Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 I wonder what the premise was? "If I pretend to be someone twice my age, but type like a teen and mention the fact that I'm enthralled with my much-older affair partner's cool truck, will people point and laugh?" Actually laughing out loud. Let's hope it's not a final thesis.
Artie Lang Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 this is the education system these days, people. people can't spell, nor punctuate anymore. good grief.
ThatJustHappened Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 I'm calling BS. I think this was a real post but the OP got embarrassed that nobody agreed with her or condoned what she said, so she chickened out and is now pretending to be a college student to save face.
BetrayedH Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 I'm calling BS. I think this was a real post but the OP got embarrassed that nobody agreed with her or condoned what she said, so she chickened out and is now pretending to be a college student to save face. You know, I think several of us thought the same thing. How funny to chicken out of an anonymous Internet conversation. She could have just left it entirely. Conflict-avoidant?
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