pedderz Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Ok, so it's been 6 weeks since I found out what my instincts were telling me for months that my ex girlfriend was cheating on me with her ex. My last post explains more detail of how it all happened and to cut a long story short, she was seeing her ex for nearly 6 mths whilst we were together, she lied to me during this time, put her defences up when I tried to talk to her about us and what was going wrong etc. I took this very badly and it really did hurt for what she did. I had to get away from work, home and go overseas just to be alone and away from it all. She hadn't contacted me for a month until last week when I was away. She started sending me text messages, calling me and even Facebook-ing me. I ignored all contact. She messaged saying that she's made the biggest mistake of her life, how she misses me, loves me like never before, wants me back etc etc. On the final day of my holiday I'd had enough of her attempting to contact me and replied back asking 'what do you want from me?'. She called again and I ignored. Eventually I picked up the phone and she was crying saying the same thing - she wants me because she loves, cares, misses me and is only happy with me, that she regrets with her whole life what she did. When I got back she asked to meet. I was in two minds, should I just tell her to F**k of* or listen to what she wants to say. I decided to meet. We spent an hour where she near begged to have me back. She wants me that bad and feels that I'm the one that got away because of her huge mistake. She repeatedly said and still says that she loves me with all her heart, wants to be with me, that I make her happy, wants to spend the rest of her life with me. The other guy moved in with her 2 weeks ago and she's realised she doesn't love him, doesn't want to be with him, she's so unhappy etc. This guy is one of the top earners at his company and very well off. He buys her everything, pays her rent, bought everything for the new place, does everything for her, gives her money, expensive stuff and expensive evenings out but still she doesn't want him. She says he loves her but he's already questioned her on why he's not making her happy. I'm nowhere in the same league as him as I make ends meet every month and probably earn half his salary. When I asked her about loving him she swore on her life and her kids life that she doesn't and that she loves me. That I'm the one that makes her world turn, she feels empty without me, that she broke down when she found out I went away and how she broke down several times in the last few weeks. I never saw anything like this before from her. Either she's a great actress or she really is now telling the truth on what she feels. She's going to tell him this week that it's not working out with him and that she's in love with me, and that she wants him to move out. I don't know how to take this. A big chunk of me says to give her a second chance as we were good together, but then another part of me says that it's so much hard work to trust her again even though she knows the consequences, the build up of trust, the calls I will be making, the way I want it before I can trust her again. I do still love her very much and I have told her that if she's playing games then to play them with someone else as I'm not interested. Last but not least, she wants me to move in with her asap and I've said that if I gave it another chance then this wouldn't happen for at least 6 months.
Solcita2 Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Oh no no no no... so things didn't work out with him, so she wants you back to pay the rent and all the stuff he's currently paying? She didn't have a one night stand... she cheated for 6 months! Now, everyday life with him is not appealing, so she wants to go back like nothing happened... she wants you to live in the same house she lived with him for the last weeks... no no no... 1
TopCat22 Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 It's a tough one. Regaining trust in someone who cheated is always difficult. The problem with cheats is once they've done it, they are quite likely to do it again. If you really believe she has learnt the lesson and knows what she wants and you feel the same way then you could give it a go. But I think you are being sensible in taking it slow, def don't move in with her yet. It's more about you and what you can handle from her.
Author pedderz Posted October 29, 2012 Author Posted October 29, 2012 Oh no no no no... so things didn't work out with him, so she wants you back to pay the rent and all the stuff he's currently paying? She didn't have a one night stand... she cheated for 6 months! Now, everyday life with him is not appealing, so she wants to go back like nothing happened... she wants you to live in the same house she lived with him for the last weeks... no no no... I put this too her. You want me back, you want me to move in with you for what? To pay the rent, to pay for the things he's giving you now??? It doesn't happen that way! She knows this and doesn't expect me to straight away. I stressed that if it happens then I make the calls, I decide if I should move in and when. I'm not gonna be taken for a ride again. If she wants me that much then she has to make sacrifices, live alone with her daughter, cut ties with this guy, get her sister to move in to share the rent and then still see if she still wants me after several months. I still don't understand why she wants me back if she's being treated like a princess, getting splashed with everything a woman wants which I could never afford to do. I've never seen her this way since I've known her. May be she does really love and mean what she says.
Tiera D Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 my ex did the same thing 3 months later after she goes back to her ex..i say play it cool,let her work to get your trust her back place obstacles infront of her if she still persist on reconciliation,then i might believe shes genuine TD
Jamesblame Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 My ex did the same thing. Narcissitic, toxic girl. She didn't want to get together. Was happy to be really cruel to me, and then when she found out that people were using her for sex and that I was in a real relationship, she got all lovey dovey again. Begged and pleaded. I said no, then broke up with new girl and surprise! Ex had no interest in me. Then she found out I was getting a financial windfall ...and what happened? Amazing! She wanted back because I was clearly "more ambitious and settled." I had no boundaries with this girl and let her walk all over me. Dude, trust me, it feels awesome letting toxic people walk off the cliff they're heading towards. 2
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