Ex contacting me, gah

[Rinaaa]

My ex recently contacted me and I'm not too sure what to make of it. Before I get into my feelings and emotions on the matter, I'll provide a quick background story of our relationship. We met through a friend and only dated for 5-6 months but it was the most intense relationship I've ever experienced. I've never been as into anybody as I was into him. When we met, we instantly connected. We had so much in common, we'd spend hours talking, we were incredibly attracted to each other, and we had an extremely deep mental connection. I felt completely comfortable and open with him and we shared so much with each other; I opened up to him in a way that I've never opened up to anyone I've dated. When we broke up, it was one of those heartbreaks that changes you. It didn't change me as a person, I'm still me, but it definitely changed my outlook and perspective on relationships and it changed how I choose to approach relationships nowadays.

 

We lived 3 hours apart so everything was a bit rushed from the get go. Instead of going out on a date here and there like normal people do, we didn't have that option due to the distance. So from the very beginning, we'd spend entire weekends together, which in the back of my head I knew was wrong, but at the time it all felt right. Every time we were together, our relationship felt like a movie, it was perfect. Everything was going good until it wasn't and he ended up breaking up with me. We started to argue over things, I started to see things I didn't like that I overlooked in the beginning, I'm sure he did, as well. I don't know if it was the timing and the fact that our relationship wasn't able to slowly develop or if we were ultimately incompatible, but it is what it is. Our break up wasn't a total surprise and I don't regret dating him; it taught me a lot and I'm wiser for it all, but the way he ended things really hurt. Basically I had drove several hours to see him, we slept together, I started feeling like he was trying to pick fights with me over petty things, I communicated that to him, we got in a blow up fight and he ended things. I attempted to talk to him about everything, but he was so cold and so distant and it was so hurtful and he told me that he had been thinking about doing this for the past couple of weeks which was upsetting. Why have me drive all the way to see you if you were considering this? Why not tell me you wanted to think about things before having me come down? It just made me feel used. I drove home, we deleted each other off of Facebook, and didn't contact each other. One thing that's really annoyed me is I've noticed he's still kept our pictures up which would be fine except he's deleted pictures of his ex's right after they broke up. Maybe I'm just overanalyzing b/c that's what I do, but I don't understand why he can't take them down. And his best friend never deleted me off of his account, I don't know if that means anything, maybe not. I sent him a message the week following our break up just apologizing for MY wrong doing during our fight and letting him know that I wished him the best. I just don't like to leave things on a bad note and burn my bridges and it gave me the closure I needed. He could've been decent and said I wish you the best as well, but he never responded to my message and I just left it as is. I was hurt, I found an online account of his where he was talking about dating other girls within like a day of us breaking up, I felt like I didn't even know who he was or I overlooked who he actually was, I didn't get any answers from him, and the best way I can describe it is I just felt like our entire relationship was a lie.

 

I picked up the pieces, realized he wasn't the best for me, and moved on with my life and several months after not speaking he randomly OUT OF NOWHERE texts me to tell me that he misses me. Maybe I should've just ignored it but I responded back with something along the lines of "I'm deeply missable." Then he texts me saying he's sorry. I thought to myself, sorry for what? Sorry for texting me? Sorry for our relationship? Sorry for the break up? I texted him back and said "Sorry for what?" and he never responded. I called him later that night to ask wtf? But he never answered and never called back so I've just let it be.

 

I just don't understand! Was he feeling lonely and made a mistake texting me which he instantly regretted? Did I not respond in the way he had hoped I would so he gave up? What gives?

 

Furthermore, WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS DO THIS?! Why do they always reappear when everything is going great for you? I'm interning, I'm working, I'm going out with my friends, I'm dating, I'm close to graduating, everything is going swell, he's been the last thing on my mind, and BAM! he contacts me and messes with my head. It's like he got a memo I was over him and felt the need to hit me up. I'm trying my best to not think about it and just keep moving forward, but wow was that frustrating.