Mrselfdestrukt Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Hi all, Probably a very common scenario amongst the followers here. My wife of 17 years left last Saturday, and I am completely devastated and feel as if I have suffered a bereavement. We have been together for 22 years; my first and only girlfriend / best friend / soulmate. We have rubbed along for many years now; I suppose I could say we have existed. We argued very infrequently; that said, we didn't really communicate. Sex stopped in 1999. This was due to her not having a high sex drive, and saying that "sex isn't the most important part in a relationship" - so I reluctantly stopped asking, and this died away all together. Although, with a low sex drive, I did walk in on her 'sorting herself out' a few times over the years. We have two teenage children - who we both adore; but for a number of years, the situation has been me in one room of an evening, and the three of them either separately or together in their bedrooms. We don't 'not' get on, we're both just rubbish at communicating. The split happened last weekend, following a week of not speaking to one another over a row about food (it's always the silly things). And everything has happened so quickly. She came home last Monday to tell me that she no longer loves me and hasn't for a while - she had already arranged to have her name removed from joint accounts etc. She's moved back temporarily with her mother, and we have agreed for the kids to split their time week-on-week. Now I'm being pushed to get 'things sorted' quickly - buying her out of the property etc - which (after a visit to the bank) is 'not enough for her to start again'. I'm just in a spin - I love her desperately and would do anything to resolve this - but she's not being very communicative, apart from instructions on how to change things to my sole name. After years of not saying how we feel, I sent a very long text message to her yesterday, telling her how much I loved her, apologised for the way I've obviously made her feel and pleading for us to work things out. As of now, I've not had a response. I'm just to frightened for the future. I never could have ever imagined my life without her - and the prospect terrifies me! MSD
Yasuandio Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 OK. First thing you have to do, is pull yourself together. NO MORE TEXTS. YOU GET ME? You must apply the 180's right now. Here is how you can find them. They are in the signature line of Jaymz's "Is It Over" Thread. He has been posting recently - under this section. Now, you will get a lot of different recommendations on this site. For a woman to do this unto you under these cicumstances you describe is not a good sign - I will warn you of that right now. Therefore, you must not make yourself appear weak of pathetic. I am going to refer you to what I believe is outstanding material - only to be used in dire situations. Think about it before you apply it. Pay careful attention to the "Three Sentence Theory." I really don't thing this material is going to hurt your situation - cause she pretty much has jumped ship. The auther is Homer McDonald, Google his name with the word "interview." You will find 5 FREE audios, and some free readings. Start listening to those audios. Not once either. It took me ten times to get it in my thick skull. I found listening to one tape over and over, first, before going to the next was the best method of really absorbing the depth of his material. Then do the readings - same mothod. All the info I gave you is free. I suggest you do this NOW. Don't let time go by. Because there are other methods you may want to consider, and you are going to get a lot of advice. It is early in the day. Most on LS will agree with 180's! Until we speak again, and you hear other advices, DO NOT BEG, PLEAD, TEXT, CALL, CRY, WHINE, ETC. YAS 1
mark982 Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 she can try and rush you all she wants, don't fall into this---slow the f down,she's in a hurry for a reason,you're going to have to find the reason for it.
Author Mrselfdestrukt Posted October 29, 2012 Author Posted October 29, 2012 Yas - thank you for the advice, I'll certainly take a look at the suggestions you provided now. Mark - she is rushing me, yes - but my worry is that she is refusing now to contribute anything towards our shared debts, saying her legal advisor tells her that as I earn double what she does, she doesn't have to. Unless I remortgage quickly, I'm not going to be able to afford to pay all the bills next month.
Yasuandio Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 (edited) Yas - thank you for the advice, I'll certainly take a look at the suggestions you provided now. Mark - she is rushing me, yes - but my worry is that she is refusing now to contribute anything towards our shared debts, saying her legal advisor tells her that as I earn double what she does, she doesn't have to. Unless I remortgage quickly, I'm not going to be able to afford to pay all the bills next month. Get an attorney before the end of the day - or at least start looking and have one tomorrow. Don't goof around. She will snap up your ass-ets so fast it will make your head spin like a manic priest's exorcism. Yas Edited October 29, 2012 by Yasuandio
Recommended Posts