Didact Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Hello everyone. I've been following the forums for a while now and I like the lively and opinionated community. I think this is exactly what I need right now. I have been in a good and loving relationship for almost 3 years now. Before this girl I was very shy, had erectile problems and was generally a very miserable and weak character. She changed everything for me and over time I became a confident and completely new person. And with this confidence has come many opportunities from beautiful women, which I have always wanted to pursue but didn't. I think now in retrospect the fact that I wanted to pursue these chances in the first instance was good evidence that I was heading towards a serious relationship I perhaps wasn't prepared for. I'm 22 and got a job that meant I needed a place to stay for a few months so I moved into her place with her and 4 other friends (who were my friends by proxy). Over time I started to resent her, not having my own space, not enjoying my life, feeling like I constantly had to spend time with her etc. This was not ungrateful, for I was truly glad of a place to stay (and I did of course pay my share of the rent), but just how I felt. Our sex life had really gone downhill as well. Through her own admission she said she just had a low sex drive. I said to myself I would see how it went. This was 6 months ago. Now I am back at university on a masters course, living close to her but not actually with her (I live with 2 old friends). I have been feeling increasingly more distanced and frantic - unable to decide whether I should leave her to have the space and youthful romances I so craved. I should have brought it up but there never felt like a right time to do so and I just carried on as normal. We are both quite busy people so it was quite easy to just pretend all was well. Last week a girl threw herself at me at a party and I didn't say no. I went back to her place and we did everything apart from sex. It was the most alive I'd felt in months. When I woke up I wept with guilt but couldn't decide what to do. Do I break up out of the blue? Do I tell her I cheated? Do I start doing suggestions that a break up could be on the cards? Last night I kissed a random girl at a party. When I woke up this morning I knew I had to sort my life out. I feel like a horrendous human being and I am so angry at myself for becoming such a cliché. I have never cheated before in my life and have always prided myself on my honest and gentlemanly manner with women. In short, I'm going off the rails and I feel horrible but also probably the most alive I've ever felt in my life. I need to break up with her but how would be the best way to do it? She is hopelessly in love with me and a sudden break up will crush her but it might be the best way for her. I also feel that telling her I cheated would be transferring some of the guilt I feel selfishly and needlessly onto her. P.S. Thank you for reading this and I'm sorry I couldn't articulate this with more brevity. P.P.S. If anyone is reading this who is thinking about cheating or having serious doubts about their relationship please just talk to your partner about it.
gamman Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 There's no easy way to break up with her. The one necessity is that you must do it face to face -- sit down and have the talk. Do NOT wait to do it. Do it now, if that is what you truly feel you need to do. Do NOT drop hints that a breakup might be in the cards. If you want to break up, BREAK UP. Do NOT drag it out. Do NOT tell her anything about you hooking up with that other girl. I repeat, do NOT say anything. Kinda have the feeling that you're in a GIG type situation, but who knows? Anyways, learn from this, and good luck.
oracle Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Agreed Be a man and set her free. As for the cheating. you would be an ass*ole to download that onto her for the sake of your conscience feeling more clean. Suck it up and take it to the grave. Just fasten your seatbelt. You are about to learn how the fun free sex with hot new people gets old and empty VERY fast. Its gonna send you scrambling back to the comfortzone you once knew. Again.. be a man, you don't deserve another chance there. Good luck There's no easy way to break up with her. The one necessity is that you must do it face to face -- sit down and have the talk. Do NOT wait to do it. Do it now, if that is what you truly feel you need to do. Do NOT drop hints that a breakup might be in the cards. If you want to break up, BREAK UP. Do NOT drag it out. Do NOT tell her anything about you hooking up with that other girl. I repeat, do NOT say anything. Kinda have the feeling that you're in a GIG type situation, but who knows? Anyways, learn from this, and good luck.
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