raea Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Hi All, I'm going through a period of feeling really unconnected and seeking tips for regaining closeness with relatively little time. I've been quite happy with my boyfriend. We've grown a lot, learned to communicate early on and I feel more comfortable than I have in a very long time with another. I often prefer to be alone and so I had very strict standards when it came to what I tolerated in another, and I've seemed to be at ease finally. Which makes me wonder why I am feeling the way I currently am. We both work a lot. He gets up very early in the morning for work, so he goes to bed pretty early. (often, not long after I've gotten off work). I am a night person and terribly dislike mornings. However, we have always made it work. Recently, the hours at my second job have been amped up- so I'm now working doubles twice a week rather than once, leaving me exhausted on the other three days I'm not working until night. It's cut into our time to see each other. We've also had many obligations, so when we do see each other it has been social. As I mentioned, I'm somewhat an introvert so I thrive more on the 1-1 time spent. We've had birthday parties, halloween parties, and last weekend were at a music festival with many many others. I think this partially is where my feelings of being unconnected come from. Due to our schedule and social engagements, we also have not been intimate lately.. It dawned on me today this may again be something feeding into it. So, my question becomes this. Any tips for fixing it with the little time we have? Our schedules won't be changing anytime soon. In fact, like stated, mine have ramped up and i'm concerned I won't even be as available as I was before. I don't want to drop in, have sex and run off. While I feel that connectedness is important, doing it in that manner doesn't seem like it will make me feel closer, haha. We do communicate daily, and i don't see adding more time talking into it as being feasible. part of me also feels that this will ebb and flow on its own, and when our schedules realign I'll feel better... but I don't like sitting back and waiting. I also feel part of it is simply my personality - when I don't feel engaged, I tend to close off, which leads to more feelings of being disconnected, which leads me to close off more, etc. I don't want this pattern to take hold and ruin what I thought was a good thing. I feel like I'm asking the impossible... but any opinion from an outsider view?
Recommended Posts