The nihilst chick Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 I want to get away.Get out of the influence of people you know? I feel sad because my dad is making me retake a test so i can get into one of the more famous specialized high schools but i love the one im at. He is bribing me with a apple laptop trying to be diplomatic as he says. He doesnt give a f#$$ about me.Noooo he wants the fame of his daughter going to Bronx science and stupid Harvard. I am a effing trophy. If i say no hell make me do it anyway or call me lazy etc maybe slap me. I doubt hell get me the apple laptop because i was supposed to get a laptop for graduation but he always makes excuses. Im going to live everyday as if its my last i will lose friends lose hope etc everything is impermanet. And its causing me anguish and im just fourteen. I only need my dad for survival i dont love him and only reason he took me innis cuz of dna if not for that he wouldve left me with my mom. He is right i am my enemy because i listen to his bullcrap i cling to it i cling to every object etc in hopes itll fill the hole in me. It wont. Its futile. I feel worthless. And i am. Thats okay because rather than crying about it i can accept it and move on. Accept that everyone else is worthless or flawed.to not cling to them becuz theyll just disappear change. My brain is just a mess of thoughts im sorry if people are confused by my post i just want to get it out. I feel like im dying or sick.
Hawaii50 Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 nihilist.. chill out, life aint so bad. you got 1st world problems, wa wa wa. Dad wants the best things in life for me.. wa wa wa wa. what is that.. there literally billions of people in this world including the 14 yr old who make the F****** Apple products your dad baits you with, that would KILL to be in your position. And what, you just THINK and BIT** and CRY about it. Gimme a break. You have no idea..you're a clueless little spoiled something or other. no clue about life. NONE.
Hawaii50 Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 unappreciative too. daddy might slap me. psssssh I'd be head butting you for your arrogance, ignorance, and unwarranted piss poor views on life. disgusting. and now i'm going to get flagged again. lol. 2
Author The nihilst chick Posted October 28, 2012 Author Posted October 28, 2012 My dad doesnt give a eff about me its about looking good himself. I love my damn school okay i got friends and he is like ohh be more socail but now he wants to switch and i have to say bye bye now. His advice has only cost me more pain and he is not goingnto get me a laptop he lies as always my sisters could tell you this. He talks about how he is a better parent than there mother blah blah so when i got to harvard etc he can wipe it in her face. My dad has called me a bum said i look like a dude called me a disappointment and al kinds of stuff and then says have high self esteem then says being asexual or gay is disgusting. He blames my problem on meeee or my mom who i havent seen since i was five.Trying to put me on medication. So no he doesnt give a eff about how i feel its about control getting credit for himself. So im still some stupid spoiled brat now? And he is prolly cheating on my stepmother and they r getting a divorce so there!
amaysngrace Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Someone having a bad day? It's annoying when parents try to mold you into who they want you to be. I get that. My daughter has an expression "I'd rather be disliked for who I am than liked for who I'm not". She's 14 too. If you chill a little maybe you can get that point across to him in a mature manner. If you can't be semi-mature though he's going to keep on treating you like a child unfortunately. 1
Eve Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Speak to an Advisor at school who can arrange for you to have regular support/someone to talk to. Being 14 these issues are important to you and it would be good to have a safe place to vent about any or all of the things that are important to you. Just do well, ok. Your job right now is to do well in school. All else is secondary. Take care, Eve x 1
Author The nihilst chick Posted October 28, 2012 Author Posted October 28, 2012 Someone having a bad day? It's annoying when parents try to mold you into who they want you to be. I get that. My daughter has an expression "I'd rather be disliked for who I am than liked for who I'm not". She's 14 too. If you chill a little maybe you can get that point across to him in a mature manner. If you can't be semi-mature though he's going to keep on treating you like a child unfortunately. My dad is a boulder.Cant move him or nonthing.I actully hate him more than anything or anyone else. My stepmom too who is a parrot of what he says.I hate that i care because its weakness and he mocks me saying ohh your gonna cry blah its like i want to kill him so much i can imagine his blood on me and me be happy laughing like the joker. I have so much weight in my heart just stuff i ignore bottle up inside.Religion him and i clash my sexual orientation college etc. I no im a kid and i no he feels superior and stuff blah blah he had it worse ya he did and he uses what i had nonthing to do with a a excuse to be a buttface.my dad likes to present himself as so noble toughwhen he is scum.
amaysngrace Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Speak to an Advisor at school who can arrange for you to have regular support/someone to talk to. Being 14 these issues are important to you and it would be good to have a safe place to vent about any or all of the things that are important to you. Just do well, ok. Your job right now is to do well in school. All else is secondary. Take care, Eve x This is good advice. Where's your mom live? Do you see her regularly?
Author The nihilst chick Posted October 28, 2012 Author Posted October 28, 2012 Chilling ive been told that so many times and i feel like when i do the rage i feel is just dormant always triggered by our conversations. My stepmom says we only talk me andmy dad when im in trouble or if its about school how im socially retarded etc which is true. I think i resent him because he makes me feel inferior alot or i expect him to do one thing and he does another.Its like dont take it personal but it IS personal. He wouldnt let me go on a trip cuz he thought id have sex which is bull but before he said i look like a bum so its like its funny if my own dad thinks i look like a bum boys will too so he doesnt have to worry about me getting knocked up im ugly like he says or implies.
Hawaii50 Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 you're one of the smartest 14 yr old girls that I've ever met (and for the record I stopped meeting 'em at 15.) You cannot tell me you are not smart enough to realize how temporary the living situation is with your father and how he can't really do much after you're 18, right? you portray your father as a douche, and I believe you. He doesn't care about you in the way a father should, that's obvious.. just hang in there, do what you gotta do, but be smart, like you are. I'm sorry I suck at giving advice to 14 yr old girls. I want to just tell you to BE a 14 yr old girl and try to enjoy the resemblance of life you have. 1
amaysngrace Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Chilling ive been told that so many times and i feel like when i do the rage i feel is just dormant always triggered by our conversations. My stepmom says we only talk me andmy dad when im in trouble or if its about school how im socially retarded etc which is true. I think i resent him because he makes me feel inferior alot or i expect him to do one thing and he does another.Its like dont take it personal but it IS personal. He wouldnt let me go on a trip cuz he thought id have sex which is bull but before he said i look like a bum so its like its funny if my own dad thinks i look like a bum boys will too so he doesnt have to worry about me getting knocked up im ugly like he says or implies. I don't mean to speak badly of your dad but he doesn't sound like he's that great of a parent. Unless you're not telling the whole story. Have you gotten into trouble?
Author The nihilst chick Posted October 28, 2012 Author Posted October 28, 2012 you're one of the smartest 14 yr old girls that I've ever met (and for the record I stopped meeting 'em at 15.) You cannot tell me you are not smart enough to realize how temporary the living situation is with your father and how he can't really do much after you're 18, right? you portray your father as a douche, and I believe you. He doesn't care about you in the way a father should, that's obvious.. just hang in there, do what you gotta do, but be smart, like you are. I'm sorry I suck at giving advice to 14 yr old girls. I want to just tell you to BE a 14 yr old girl and try to enjoy the resemblance of life you have. Thank you alot i know itll be three more years but its torturous! And ya he talks about deciding what college im going to its like noooooooooo! I want to study abroad at 18 or 19 he is like ill cut you off from medical. Not a lot universities or colleges have freshman going abroad but there are alot. I dont know if my old man is exaggerating or i really will be dependent on him till im 24 he said under the law he is still considered responsible for my education till im twenty something and if thats true what shall i do???
Author The nihilst chick Posted October 28, 2012 Author Posted October 28, 2012 I don't mean to speak badly of your dad but he doesn't sound like he's that great of a parent. Unless you're not telling the whole story. Have you gotten into trouble? Oh yeah ive gotten in trouble but nonthing recent. Look if i lie or whatever i deserve punishment.now that im older its more like getting in trouble for having a different belief im a atheist he never discussed Islam but after i came out the closet he isblike u gotta join muslim club or u cant go to the clubs you want. He is like cant do everything u want ya cuz he wants to do EVERYTHING HE WANTS. If daddy wants it hell get it. He says u cant listen to kids too much or theyll trample u but i think completely ignorin them is bad too shouldnt there be moderation? I get in trouble not for misbehaving so much bad grades but for disagreeing with him its a battle of ideologies. Its more emotional we have egos but his is monsterous and he will point out ur faults but never his own.
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