AlexDP Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 in the relationship, wasn't allowed female friends (these were long term i might add), couldn't go out with mates on my own... told me to keep everything she gave me for "memories" told me to keep the ring... even during the first month of me trying, she would have mates laughing down the phone at me. She sounds like a horrible, horrible person. And you want to be with her. What does that make you?
Author frederickkk Posted October 29, 2012 Author Posted October 29, 2012 i couldn't really care if she had to tell her new mates. if i ever see them, i will just ignore them, and if they have anything to say, i'll direct them here.
AlexDP Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 i know i can find somebody far better, who isn't manipulative, nor controlling, but the problem is i am in love, and i won't get over. sure, i can put on a strong mindset and try and move on, but that won't bury feelings. No, you don't. You think you can't. If you thought you could, you'd be over her.
Author frederickkk Posted October 29, 2012 Author Posted October 29, 2012 i won't be contacting her again. and i did all of that to keep her happy.... she has a lot of growing up to do. i can go for a very long time of leaving her alone.
Author frederickkk Posted October 29, 2012 Author Posted October 29, 2012 she is the attention seeking drama queen type. now there is no attention, i do wonder whether she will ever get into contact with me. but its her choice to move on. and thats it. its her loss. 1
CopingGal Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 she has a lot of growing up to do. i can go for a very long time of leaving her alone. Frederickkk, I think you have a lot of growing up to do. But it's cool, man we all do. Peace 1
Author frederickkk Posted October 29, 2012 Author Posted October 29, 2012 you know, i bumped into her in a pub, we leave, stuff happens, we come back in, everyone around me is telling me to move on, she is watching smiling, walking out of the pub, smiling. she's a case.
veggirl Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 you know, i bumped into her in a pub, we leave, stuff happens, we come back in, everyone around me is telling me to move on, she is watching smiling, walking out of the pub, smiling. she's a case. She sure is, and you lack the self-respect to walk when you realize someone is a nutjob user. You need to work on that or you will find yourself in this type of relationship over and over again.
Author frederickkk Posted October 29, 2012 Author Posted October 29, 2012 she clearly never properly loved me? **** , i dont know what a waste of time effort
Author frederickkk Posted October 29, 2012 Author Posted October 29, 2012 i really am that close to emailing her....this is worrying..someone snap me out of it.
geegirl Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 i really am that close to emailing her....this is worrying..someone snap me out of it. Please email her. Show her what a case you actually are. Show her you have no self-respect. Show her you love to be humiliated. At this point, there's clearly something disconnecting with you. Stop calling her a case. Even after being warned by cops and her changing a part of her life around to get away from you, you continue the obsession.
Author frederickkk Posted October 29, 2012 Author Posted October 29, 2012 i wont email her. but i probably wont ever contact her ever again. and thats that. that day i got rejected at coffee, i had some kid pick up the phone laughing at me. it says it all really.
Mack05 Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 (edited) Frederick I was you 18-21 months ago. I was totally obsessed with a girl. Logic went out the window. I too was threatened with the police. Think she went to the Police twice. She also went to my family and pleaded with them to make me stop contacting her. No one person could get through to me. To say I made an idiot of myself is beyond an understatement. I emailed all her friends, broke promises to my family. I could go on and on believe you me. Right now your 'logic' is completely out the window. U are an addict looking for a hit. Despite people trying their best to advise you right now, its literally in one ear and out the next. Wasted advice sadly. The fact she has threatened you with the police. The fact she has changed her number. You still want to email her? I did too..18 months on I say to myself "what the hell were you thinking!". I can't believe that was me..Can't believe my behaviours. Even now. Still learning the lessons.. The reason you want to email her is that you have an 'addictive personality'. The reason you want to email her is because you have no self esteem. The reason you want to email her is because you are drowning and you are looking at the one person who you believe can save you...She can't and never will. I don't know your story, I don't need to. She deserves better. I'm sure she is no angel but that is not my point. Unless you are truly happy in your own skin, you shouldn't even dream of entering into a relationship. If you are not happy inside, you are looking at someone else to fill the 'emptiness' inside. No relationship (no matter how good the start) can thrive under such circumstances.. There is nothing anyone can say to you right now. You will still go backwards, still reason with your own 'logic' such is the addictive personality. I have been there, believe me. What needs to happen is that you need to hit rock bottom. You need to get a shock to your system to make you realise what is truly important in your life. Once you hit rock bottom, then you can focus on looking upwards. You can focus on making new plans, new goals, new dreams. You have lost emotional control. Until you get it back all common sense has gone right out the window... Edited October 29, 2012 by Mack05 1
veggirl Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 i wont email her. but i probably wont ever contact her ever again. and thats that. that day i got rejected at coffee, i had some kid pick up the phone laughing at me. it says it all really. How old are you guys? I am guessing very young?
Author frederickkk Posted October 29, 2012 Author Posted October 29, 2012 Mack05, bang on. I won't be contacting her. if she ever contacts me, i will tell her its to sort things out or nothing. no friendship. won't work. Veggirl, i am old enough to know better and leave someone alone. she is younger than me and in her second year of university.
spaniard Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 (edited) What you truly need now is a little regiment I used to do in the first few weeks after the break up. You have extremely low self-esteem. You are not a man. I'm sorry to say that but it's the truth. You DEFINITELY need to man up. First, enough of the pity party. This **** has happened to MANY guys before you. Second, instead of pursuing your ex, start working out. Hit the gym, run, swim, whatever you can do. This will naturally raise your own self-esteem and help divert your crazy thoughts of that girl to something more useful. Third, download manly movies. You think my nick is spaniard because I'm Spanish? No, I'm not Spanish. My nick is spaniard because of the movie Gladiator. After the break up I felt I was a kid, not a man. I needed to feel that I'm on the top of the food chain and I'm a real, tough man. Watch Gladiator, Expendables, Robin Hood (2010 version), Rocky Balboa, John Rambo. These brainless movies are for males. They are especially helpful after a break up. Fourth, leave that girl alone. Try focus on improving yourself and a being less psycho. Edited October 30, 2012 by spaniard
Author frederickkk Posted October 30, 2012 Author Posted October 30, 2012 ok spaniard. I don't wish to lose this girl. So if I was to email her, how long do I give it? Its her birthday on boxing day.
spaniard Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 Maybe because she went to police to make sure you will never contact her again?
Author frederickkk Posted October 30, 2012 Author Posted October 30, 2012 she joked about it over coffee...then didnt like the idea i was moving on....meeting new people....wants to see if my course ran through the summer aka am i available...
spaniard Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 If she wants anything from you, she will contact you. If you write her an e-mail, you will push her even further. But honestly, the best would be if you tried to move on.
Author frederickkk Posted October 30, 2012 Author Posted October 30, 2012 ive pushed her enough. i went ****ing wild trying to sort it out. if you aren't given closure, it pushes you for closure. there hasn't been absolute closure. she changed her number because i was texting her at a rate of 2 an hour. i fell into the trap after that coffee...
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