frederickkk Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 (edited) so, had a warning from the police not to contact ex. been together two years, tried hard for 3 months to change her mind. i went 3 weeks, caved and texted. sent her a text a day. with an email. got to the saturday, bumped into her, completely random, both on bikes. we go for coffee. things she said: "whos this singer youve met, she better than me?" hints of jealousy? "you cant go out in (city), you will have to study all the time" she is out all the time as she studies, is she trying to stop me from meeting new people? "does your course run through the summer?" asking to see if i will be available over the summer? she almost joked about the police calling me. Me: "when i eventually move on...." her: "huh? move on?" coffee ended, she walked away, i was in tears, i then went after her, she was in tears. then left her be. called her in eve, her mate answered laughing down phone. texted her for a week solid, she changed her number, as opposed to giving me a restraining order. what now? Edited October 28, 2012 by frederickkk
Author frederickkk Posted October 28, 2012 Author Posted October 28, 2012 you are right geegirl. I will keep busy and keep going. its her birthday 26th december. should i bother emailing her happy birthday?
geegirl Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 you are right geegirl. I will keep busy and keep going. its her birthday 26th december. should i bother emailing her happy birthday? You shouldn't email on her birthday because it will derail your efforts to move on and it's pretty clear she doesn't want you in her life. I hate to be harsh but it's time to focus on you and let the obsession die until you've completely moved on and indifferent. She doesn't care that you can't contact her so you shouldn't feel hard pressed to show her you still do.
Author frederickkk Posted October 28, 2012 Author Posted October 28, 2012 (edited) she knows i have this ring here, and has told me to "keep it"....keep it for what? and its not obsession...i will still feel this way in years to come. Edited October 28, 2012 by frederickkk
Author frederickkk Posted October 28, 2012 Author Posted October 28, 2012 I couldn't give a toss that she tells everyone. If I'm asked about it I will tell them what went down, because the games that have been played have well and truly ****ed me up.
spaniard Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 You need to move on and have to accept the extremely painful fact that it's over.
Author frederickkk Posted October 28, 2012 Author Posted October 28, 2012 good point spaniard, for how long, until when.... ?
geegirl Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 good point spaniard, for how long, until when.... ? How long? It takes as long as it takes. There is no timeline. When? Again, you'll know when the thought of her makes you feel nothing. Even knowing she's married with babies doesn't flinch you.
Art_Critic Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 and its not obsession...i will still feel this way in years to come. That is what an obsession does for you My take.. if you don't leave her alone you are going to get the RO filed on you.. The police have called you.. she has changed her number.. what are you missing ? While you may not want to move you are being forced too.. contunue to contact and you will find yourself in court... Good luck 3
Author frederickkk Posted October 28, 2012 Author Posted October 28, 2012 it will flinch me. im 25. she was it. ill be on this forum in 10 years feeling the same.
geegirl Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 it will flinch me. im 25. she was it. ill be on this forum in 10 years feeling the same. I'm sorry you feel that way.
CopingGal Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Listen, leave this gal alone. She's threatened to call the police. You have to just leave her alone. She giving you mixed signals. Stay away from her. Take care of you.
Renard99 Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 (edited) it will flinch me. im 25. she was it. ill be on this forum in 10 years feeling the same. I hate to be harsh but with that attitude you are destined to repeat everything that has happened and you will never heal. My ex was my 'one'. I was 27 and I believed no one could ever beat her....... then she broke up with me after 7 years..... I was certain that I would be forever alone and that I would die feeling like crap because all I wanted was her.............. Now, if I continued to think the same way you are I would still be in that position, but, I didn't. I stopped texting and emailing her. I steered clear of her manipulating friends and went about mentally healing myself. I went from saying 'I will like this in 10 years time' to 'I will not be like this in 10 years time' Fast forward to only 2 years from the break up and I'm now with somebody who blows my ex out of the water. She's far better in nearly all respects. Just try and start the changing the little simply things, like 'will' to 'will not' and you'll be amazed at how things can start to look a little easier. We're all here for you, you're not alone in going through this and we all wish you well! Edited October 29, 2012 by Renard99 Spelling 1
Author frederickkk Posted October 29, 2012 Author Posted October 29, 2012 i know i can find somebody far better, who isn't manipulative, nor controlling, but the problem is i am in love, and i won't get over. sure, i can put on a strong mindset and try and move on, but that won't bury feelings.
Renard99 Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 i know i can find somebody far better, who isn't manipulative, nor controlling, but the problem is i am in love, and i won't get over.. The problem is that you won't find someone better when you tell yourself you won't get over your ex. I'm not say you don't love her and I'm not questioning your feelings... I was there, I felt them to..... but it's your idea of how to handle the future that will simply hold you back, keeping you at square one. You will get over her if you let yourself do it. I actively went about doing other things, getting fit, going out with friends to let myself get over her. I still had feelings for her and it still hurt every day, that never changed, but knowing she didn't want me made me move forward, it made me want to heal. As soon as I realised this (a couple of months after the break up) I actually began to 'heal' I know it seems like nothing will ever change and that your world has caved in because you're still love the person (again, I've been there, I know that feeling) but the sooner you realise that you can and will get better the sooner the healing process can begin.
Author frederickkk Posted October 29, 2012 Author Posted October 29, 2012 but the problem remains in that i know i couldve been better in relationship, and so couldve she.....far better....so now i feel i have to wait
Author frederickkk Posted October 29, 2012 Author Posted October 29, 2012 so close to emailing her right now.
veggirl Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 so close to emailing her right now. NO! Omg, what more does she have to do? She has involved the police and changed her phone #. You are going to get yourself slapped with a RO or arrested! Do you think you are the first person to be in love and get his heartbroken? You aren't. Millions of people have been through this, millions more still will. How do you think all those people survived? Do you really think what you had was so much better than what they had? How arrogant! Of course it is hard! But you are barely trying. Try harder! Post here instead of stalking her and getting yourself in legal trouble!
geegirl Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 so close to emailing her right now. Stop. Nothing is more unattractive than a man obsessively chasing a woman that does not want him.
Author frederickkk Posted October 29, 2012 Author Posted October 29, 2012 well i go strict no contact then and leave her alone.
Author frederickkk Posted October 29, 2012 Author Posted October 29, 2012 i feel like ive been well and truly shafted. what a way to treat someone.
AlexDP Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 it will flinch me. im 25. she was it. ill be on this forum in 10 years feeling the same. No you won't. No one ever feels the same 10 years on.
AlexDP Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 NO! Omg, what more does she have to do? She has involved the police and changed her phone #. You are going to get yourself slapped with a RO or arrested! Do you think you are the first person to be in love and get his heartbroken? You aren't. Millions of people have been through this, millions more still will. How do you think all those people survived? Do you really think what you had was so much better than what they had? How arrogant! Of course it is hard! But you are barely trying. Try harder! Post here instead of stalking her and getting yourself in legal trouble! The fact that she has the police go after him, but then has a cup of coffee with him speaks volumes about the girl too. She's obviously a twisted, sick individual.
Author frederickkk Posted October 29, 2012 Author Posted October 29, 2012 in the relationship, wasn't allowed female friends (these were long term i might add), couldn't go out with mates on my own... told me to keep everything she gave me for "memories" told me to keep the ring... even during the first month of me trying, she would have mates laughing down the phone at me.
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