Timz12 Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 I was the dumpee, We've been broke up for 25 days now. Her reasons never made sense and I had suspected that our break up was because her old ex bf had been contacting her, and days after our breakup I found out she spent the night with him once. Initially I tried contacting her/trying to get her in my prescense but she wouldnt respond, so I dropped it and went no contact. Well a buddy and I were at the bar last week and she ran into him there and she found out I was also at the same bar, she called me and said she wanted to see me, so I walked up to her on the dance floor, she lit up like a x-mas tree, complementing me on my recent weight loss and such, then we began dancing, while dancing she started making out with me and from there she said lets go some place more quiet, so we go outside to talk and then she wants to go get something to eat, so we drive away, get something to eat, then long story short end up back in my apartment, and back in each others arms in my bed. While we were together she was all up in my business asking if I was seeing anyone and trying to drop little hints about guys trying to get on her at the bar and such, (assuming she was trying to get me jealous). For the most part when we were together it was like we never ever broke up, she would call me by old nick names and was reminiscing on old memories. She also kept saying I dont want anybody else I just want to be on my own for awhile.. I didnt ever bring up reasons and I really didnt respond much to that. I even caught her snooping through my phone while I was in the bathroom. She had mentioned several times during the night that she wouldnt mind just staying at home watching movies saturday night, I wasnt sure if she was trying to hint to me that I was invited or not or what but I never commented much on that. I did inform her of all my exciting up coming plans next week but I did not invite her to any of them, and I could tell it kind of bothered her. I havent talked to her since she dropped me off 4 days ago. I of course would love to see her again and would love to take her to the halloween dance I'm going to on wednesday. This whole ordeal kinda confuses me a bit, and I'm afraid she may be under the impression that getting together ment nothing to me and that im just being an ass. What do you guys think, should I text her an invitation? Wait to hear from her in the future, or try to keep the ball rolling now? I dont want her to think that we can never get together again. Any advice?
Author Timz12 Posted October 28, 2012 Author Posted October 28, 2012 Well she technically broke the no contact, and I think if I would have ignored her it would have made me seem childish or still not over it, not?
Author Timz12 Posted October 28, 2012 Author Posted October 28, 2012 She had a little buzz going on when we first met, but that faded fast.
Author Timz12 Posted October 28, 2012 Author Posted October 28, 2012 Ha yeah, sadly enough I do... Cant help it.
Author Timz12 Posted October 28, 2012 Author Posted October 28, 2012 I did not explain my entire story so I know it may not make complete sense, However we did have something very special, and I've never been with someone like her before. She also said that she's never felt this way about anyone ever before in her life and wanted to settle down and have kids soon, I actually had to turn her down on having kids at the very moment. Also I know she still has feelings for me and doesnt want to let me go either. The break up happened when she moved in with me and got re aquainted/caught up with her old SINGLE college skank friends in this new city and boom that was it, I cant help but think one day she will realize she made a big mistake and come back, but I do know I cant really sit here and believe that will happen, and also as to why, trying to forget someone you love is like trying to rememeber someone you've never met.
Author Timz12 Posted October 28, 2012 Author Posted October 28, 2012 You guys are busting my balls here, but I hear ya 1
Wings Of Love Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 I made the same mistake with my ex after we broke up, although the time period was considerably longer. He dumped me, I went NC, then more than a year later he walks back into my life and says basically all the things your ex said. Although he took it a step further and said he wanted me back. Long story short, he lied, he used me and I got hurt. I never saw him again. The whole situation showed me how much he had changed and gave me the strength to let go. I'm now happily in a relationship with a real man. I'm not saying the same will happen to you, but you need to be careful. Don't contact her. If she cared, she'd make the effort.
oracle Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 What Starts in blood ends in blood. It may have taken 13yrs, but history eventually DID repeat itself in my relationship scenario. I went back once... after being dumped, it happened 13yrs later again. Though its sooooooooooooooooooo much more complicated now.
KatZee Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 It's kind of obvious what this chick is doing. She said she didn't want anyone else, she just wants to be single--- however she doesn't want you moving on or finding anyone else while she's off "discovering herself" or whatever she intends to do during this split. That's why she's tossing breadcrumbs at you, acting interested but then NOT asking to get back together--- she's just keeping you on the back burner and attached to the leash she has you on for if and when she feels like taking you back. Honestly she's playing you like a fiddle. She knows she has you, she knows you're still interested and not going anywhere--- and as long as she knows these things she's free to do whatever she wants for as long as she wants while you're at home posting these questions on loveshack. I think you hold the power OP. time to man up and be like "I still care about you and I want to be with you. I'm confused by what happened a few days ago, either commit to me or stop jerking me around, I'm not your f.uck buddy." If she knows you're serious and going to move on it may kick her in gear but what she's doing right now really isn't fair to you at all.
Author Timz12 Posted October 29, 2012 Author Posted October 29, 2012 You have a very good point there, it makes perfect sense. However there is the old saying that some women must first be "broke" so to speak, before they are really willing to settle down. With that being said do I set myself up for failure if I say the whole confused speech too soon, before she has much of a chance to "discover herself"? I do know this crap, and totally not fair to me, but my heart is just to damn big.
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