My messy break up. It has been 2 months, will she regret everything she has done?

October 28, 2012

Hi guys I am new to this but I have a VERY unique situation where my emotions got the best of me.

I met my (now ex) gf in january 2010. She was 16 and i was 21 (big age gap). She had initially told me she was 18. From the moment we both looked into eachothers eyes we knew there was something! The day I met her I kissed her. Then after that she told me she was 16 which freaked me out but I still continued a close friendship with her. We would meet up infront of her house and talk all night and she quickly fell madly and deeply in love with me...but I didn't because of the age gap.

Anyway, so as time progressed she made it clear to everyone how much she loved and adored me. She would say the most beautiful things to me and I sort of took it for granted (with reason). The problem is, she had hooked up with a few of my friends which REALLY turned me off. Also, she went out with my friends for 24 hours just so I can get her attention. She was pretty much doing anything to have me. However, I made it very clear she is too young and when she is 18 ill consider it.

Fast forward to August 2011, we had gone through a lot. She had been flirting with so many other guys and hooking up with random guys BUT still expected me to be faithful and not do the same. It wasn't until August 27th, 2011 we began dating. When we began, her insecurities, jealousy and psychotic side was revealed, but I was waaaayyyy too forgiving and I kept accepting her apologies. She would constantly block and hang up on me when she INITIATES the fights. I would always try call her back. She also had some SERIOUS insecurities issues where she made me feel guilty for leaving my house in case a woman would walk past me.

In December last year, I went to Thailand with my friends and that was a pivotal moment when she started changing her attitude towards me. She was convinced I cheated on her (i never once did). Anyway, she broke up with me randomly and I was hurt but I left it. 1 hour later she had called me crieing saying she didnt want to but her dad hates me (I am Muslim and she is Christian). I forgave her straight away.

In 2012, her insecurities and her pointless fighting and make up/break ups began to take its toll on both of us. She would always block and hang up my calls, only to call me back crieing saying im the best thing thats ever happened to me and she doesnt want to lose me. She took advantage of my forgiveness.

Up until July 2012 things where sort of fine until she started changing. She started fighting non stop and then she would absolutely beg for me back (after she broke up with me). Then I caught her with another guy who is engaged until 4am. A week later (our 1 year anniversary, she dumped me). She said she doesnt love me anymore and she never wants to speak to me.

I was confused, heartbroken. I had done everything for this girl. I got her to quit smoking, focus on University, to treat people better. I told her everyday how much i loved her, I would drop anything to be with her and i was so forgiving towards her.

The night she broke up with me, she met up with this guy until 4am AGAIN. I was furious and I lost the plot at her. She laughed and said (you will get over it by the morning and you will beg for me to come back). I was so hurt! I called her the next day saying WTF is going on and she said she doesnt want to be with me anymore!

I kept seeing this guy with her who has a fiance and it started driving me nuts! This girl was so deeply in love with me, now she is with another guy.

Mind you, she always accused me of cheating and she said it would take 6 months to a year to even get over me. I ignored her and then she called me a week later at 3am saying "i miss u, i dunno what i was thinking with him it was a mistake'. I was ecstatic so like an idiot i called her the next day and shes like "i just wanna be friends' so i begged for her back and she said NO NO NO NO and pretty much laughed it off to my face.

The next day I called her saying im seeing someone to make her jealous. She was pretty hurt......i wasnt seeing anyone btw. So the following day i saw her with a few friends. She started screaming and yelling and saying really disrespectful things.I tried calming her down but she called me a 'muslim cunt' and stuck her finger up at me which caused me to slap her (not hard). I felt terrible so i met up with her 20 minutes after and she came running into my arms and i kissed her and said im really sorry and she apologised for swearing at me. She said we will never get back together which I understood. I bought her flowers and chocolates to apologise. The next day she msgd me saying 'thanks for the flowers and chocolates'. I didnt reply. I saw her in the area and I started ignoring her which she didnt like whatsoever. She tried getting my attention but i ignored her. She messaged me saying 'hope all is well xx' and i replied 4 hours later saying 'good thanks'. A few days later i saw her with the guy with a fiance and i got so angry and i told him 'he has no respect for his fiance to be constantly meeting up with my ex'. My ex started crieing and she said, 'i dont know who u r anymore, how could u ignore me?' i said 'we r over arnt we?'

2 weeks after seeing them together I thought that i should see if he really is engaged. He was. After some snooping around i found his fiance and i told her that they were meeting up. She said that she thought they were. We ended up going to their work (they work together) and we busted them together walking to her car and he gave her a close kiss on the cheek. I got angry and I said 'u ruined my relationship' and his fiance got angry and started yelling at my ex. They denied anything but rachel told her that 'he tried kissing me but i pushed him away'.

My ex was so angry for doing that she put a restraining order on me and assault charges (because i slapped her). I spoke to her and she said she was going to remove them but the guy convinced her not to! I told her 'do u not remember who i am? i did everything for u, i cared about you more than myself, and u believe anyone and everything over me?'

After the restraining order, my friend met up with her and she said she is seeing a guy but she was comparing him to me. She was saying that i cared about her more than any1 else. She also wanted to remove the charges but she was scared what her friends and the guy she is seeing would say.

3 days later SHE CALLED ME ON PRIVATE crieing at 5am. I hung up. She called again crieing. May I remind u, she has a restraining order. I think she wanted to hear my voice again.

That was last week, now she is saying, she wants nothing to do with me and she is happy with her rebound and she wants to forget about me. She is 18 and every1 says she will snap out of it one day and realise what she has done to me and why i acted the way i did. She is in absolute guilt but chooses to ignore it. She wont mention the full details of the break up so it doesnt incriminate her either.

Also, this rebound was a 'friend' when we where going out and she had a past with 'guy friends' who wanted more than just a friendship. I know he is just a rebound and she doesnt really care about him because he really likes her and she said she wants to be friends ONE DAY....now she says she is happy with him and wants to move on.

ALSO, she is a chronic facebook stalker, she knows everything i do until this day and she even went to the extent on posting a jealous comment on my fb status because a girl told me to 'call her'.

ALSO ALSO. This girl has a history of not admitting to guilt until fuurther down the track and never likes to hear about her being in the wrong.

So, if she is so over me, why did she call me at 5am twice crieing? why does she continually stak my fb? why would she say to my friend that i am the only one who cares about her? AND what is going to happen with this rebound relationship?

What is going on in her head? Ladies.....

October 28, 2012

My man, I got about halfway through this and stopped reading it around the part where you told her that you'd drop everything for her. A couple of things here:

1.)If you have standards, then as soon as you knew that she had hooked up with your friends, you should have disqualified her from your set of options. That type of behavior in a woman will haunt you forever if you get involved with her, knowing that she has been involved with your friends in that manner. That automatically puts images into your mind that are very painful.

2.)You told her you'd drop everything for her and told her how much you love her every day? Bro, that's another area where you messed up. Even if she were the most straight laced person in the world, you never should have told her that you'd drop everything for her. Anyone, no matter who it is, will hear a statement like that and let it go to their head. By doing that (if you hadn't put her on a pedestal already), you elevated her 100 levels from where she was and caused her to feel that much more important. Don't ever tell another human being that you'll put your life on hold for them. You have to be cautious and not let love cloud your judgment- ever.

That's really all I'm going to tell you...the point is that if you have respect for yourself, then you shouldn't put yourself through that kind of pain- especially for someone who does not appreciate it or show any consistency in what they want, sleeps around, corrupts OTHER relationships, etc. You have to get over this fast. Find someone that deserves your effort. At the same time, do not indicate to anyone that you'll drop everything for them and do not give too much. Don't make the person who deserves your love suffer because of those who have hurt you, but just be careful. You need to love yourself first and advance your own life, incorporating that other person into it. You don't base your life on them. That, my friend, is where you give someone the ticket to walk all over you, and if you don't learn that quickly you will never stop being hurt. This is coming from someone who has been damn near murdered with heartbreak several times and is finally learning, so my statements are only intended to be constructive and helpful. I wish you much luck.

October 28, 2012

She is very immature and also doesn't sound like a particularly good person. You probably don't want to hear this, but you are best getting shot of her. Move on, cut her out of your life and don't look back. Unless of course you enjoy the drama as you'll get plenty of that if you keep running after this girl.

October 28, 2012

nahhh i know i will never put anyone on a pedestal again. I just loved to make her happy.....my biggest mistake! i did so much for her and she walked all over me! she used to chase me for so long then when i gave her everything, she took advantage of it!

October 28, 2012

My man, I got about halfway through this and stopped reading it around the part where you told her that you'd drop everything for her. A couple of things here:

1.)If you have standards, then as soon as you knew that she had hooked up with your friends, you should have disqualified her from your set of options. That type of behavior in a woman will haunt you forever if you get involved with her, knowing that she has been involved with your friends in that manner. That automatically puts images into your mind that are very painful.

2.)You told her you'd drop everything for her and told her how much you love her every day? Bro, that's another area where you messed up. Even if she were the most straight laced person in the world, you never should have told her that you'd drop everything for her. Anyone, no matter who it is, will hear a statement like that and let it go to their head. By doing that (if you hadn't put her on a pedestal already), you elevated her 100 levels from where she was and caused her to feel that much more important. Don't ever tell another human being that you'll put your life on hold for them. You have to be cautious and not let love cloud your judgment- ever.

That's really all I'm going to tell you...the point is that if you have respect for yourself, then you shouldn't put yourself through that kind of pain- especially for someone who does not appreciate it or show any consistency in what they want, sleeps around, corrupts OTHER relationships, etc. You have to get over this fast. Find someone that deserves your effort. At the same time, do not indicate to anyone that you'll drop everything for them and do not give too much. Don't make the person who deserves your love suffer because of those who have hurt you, but just be careful. You need to love yourself first and advance your own life, incorporating that other person into it. You don't base your life on them. That, my friend, is where you give someone the ticket to walk all over you, and if you don't learn that quickly you will never stop being hurt. This is coming from someone who has been damn near murdered with heartbreak several times and is finally learning, so my statements are only intended to be constructive and helpful. I wish you much luck.

lol for sure you make some good point...she mess with him beause she knows he loves her so much ..but that show you she is know good

October 28, 2012

but do u guys think she will come to her senses or she will blame me for everything and never realise? I find it strange that she would call me crieing and then the next day to her friends she acts like she is completely over me

October 28, 2012

People never stay the same. When they realize that they are getting "too much" love from their partner they stop putting effort in the relationship and start taking you for granted.

For a good relationship balance of love and power is very important. While loving someone and being loved we forget about this important balance and get lazy, delusional. We think that person we love so much would always stay with us forever. Instead of depending on ourselves we start depending on others

Its better to move on when things are not working which is hard way but its for your own good. Life doesnt stop on one person, there are many opportunities life.

October 28, 2012

but do u guys think she will come to her senses or she will blame me for everything and never realise? I find it strange that she would call me crieing and then the next day to her friends she acts like she is completely over me

What do you expect? This girl is just a baby.

October 28, 2012

yeah she turns 19 in a month so she is still young and silly

October 28, 2012

nahhh i know i will never put anyone on a pedestal again. I just loved to make her happy.....my biggest mistake! i did so much for her and she walked all over me! she used to chase me for so long then when i gave her everything, she took advantage of it!

you know why beacuse she is not the right woman for you sorry to say it but the right woman would never do that they will love you right back ..this girl she will always be this way do you really what a woman you cant love to your fullest think about it scared to love her fully beacuse she may use it to walk all over you ??

October 28, 2012

yeah i have learned to not overly love someone! but i am her first true love and she is mine (i know at 23) its abit old lol

October 28, 2012

yeah i have learned to not overly love someone! but i am her first true love and she is mine (i know at 23) its abit old lol

hahahaha its ok just becareful with that girl lol:p

October 28, 2012

exactly, but i believe there should be a level of balance! i was WAAAYYYY too loving and expressed it too much! i think that i compensated for her lack of love.

If we balanced the love, it would have been much better

October 28, 2012

so what you going to do now???

October 28, 2012

BTW the guy that she is seeing reaaaallly likes her and I think he may do similar to me and she wont learn

October 28, 2012

Well......

1. She put a restraining order on me. One day she regrets it, the next day she doesnt.

2. She shows sign of jealousy even until this day and she calls me crieing.

3. To her girlfriends, she talks like she has completely moved on and never wants to hear about me.

i dont understand how that is possible. I think she needs to either grow up, or she is just pure evil.....which i hope she isnt

October 28, 2012

BTW the guy that she is seeing reaaaallly likes her and I think he may do similar to me and she wont learn

too bad for him see am a girl and i know a few girls like her they wont change they will always mess with guys and run them down and when they get you and you give in they let you go and move on to the next one

October 28, 2012

Well......

1. She put a restraining order on me. One day she regrets it, the next day she doesnt.

2. She shows sign of jealousy even until this day and she calls me crieing.

3. To her girlfriends, she talks like she has completely moved on and never wants to hear about me.

i dont understand how that is possible. I think she needs to either grow up, or she is just pure evil.....which i hope she isnt

the thing i see you doing tho is still worring about her and not your self she i,,are you going to move on?

October 28, 2012

i am trying to move on, just the situation has made my life hell. I heard a lot of girls like her go through a spiral of disastrous relationships and they always regret losing the first person that truely loved them (me)

do you think this is true?

btw, a few of her friends are like that! they warned her not to lose me or else she will end up miserable

October 28, 2012

also, she has got a lot of regrets losing me and she said 'i know u r the only one in this world who truely cares about me' 2 weeks after we broke up

October 28, 2012

also, she has got a lot of regrets losing me and she said 'i know u r the only one in this world who truely cares about me' 2 weeks after we broke up

and even tho she say that she is still with the other man right ? so what that tell you come on your 23 stop playing kids game with this girl wake up she still acts like 5 years old find someone eles ..wake up time to move on do you want live your life runing after a 5 year old ?

October 28, 2012

Yeah you are right! the day she wakes up to her self, i will be loooooooooooooooonnng gone!

October 28, 2012

Yeah you are right! the day she wakes up to her self, i will be loooooooooooooooonnng gone!

good am sure you will find a mature woman soon to show you what a real relationship should be like ... i dont know her but this girl i know is playing with you for sure

October 28, 2012

she said to my friend a few months ago

'i know that regardless of what i do, he will always forgive me'

i think that if she sees that i have moved on and found a new girl, it will be her biggest wake up call because she has some SERIOUS jealousy problems

October 28, 2012

she said to my friend a few months ago
'i know that regardless of what i do, he will always forgive me'

i think that if she sees that i have moved on and found a new girl, it will be her biggest wake up call because she has some SERIOUS jealousy problems

lol not just jealousy it seem that girl have some seriouse problems period

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My messy break up. It has been 2 months, will she regret everything she has done?

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