Mrlonelyone Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Not saying it's impossible to have a happy interracial relationship or anything like that. Is (or was) anyone here part of an interracial couple? In particular how uncomfortable were people with seeing you two in public displaying affection? I have my own experiences but they may not be typical. A thread here, and my recent relationship prospects got me thinking about it. Then I tried to find a old Spike Lee movie called "Jungle Fever" you know find it streaming online or something. Every other movie of his from that late 80's early 90's era is available on one service but not that one. Is it my imagination or is it considered some kind of a taboo, still, to depict interracial love? Just how accepting are we really?
xdahliax Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 I think most people are pretty accepting, especially in large cities. Around here, the problem is not interracial dating. The problem is the culture clash that can come along with interracial dating. FYI, I have been in an interracial relationship and am the product of one.
jolbell Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 I'm Asian American and date white men. I see inter-racial dating as normal and do not bat an eye.
somedude81 Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 I'm a white guy. I've had crushes and asked out Hispanic, Black, Japanese, Korean and Chinese girls. They all said no. From what I could tell, none of them dated outside their race.
mesmerized Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Explain what you mean by interracial. I'm not white If we go by what people tend to call white but I probably have paler skin than a lot of white people And my features aren't wildly different. I've dated white men and it wasn't a big deal and we got no looks. I think I might get looks if I date a black guy tho and that would probably be considered "interracial".
taya Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 yeah am a black woman and all my bf have been white ..lol alot as happen but i stll love my white men i will married one... one day hahaha 2
zebracolors Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Personally I have 0 problems with it, and Im sure my family line has no problems with it either. example, I have one uncle that actually met his wife in Mexico some 20 years ago, and they are still happily married and have a great family today. I wish it was a non-issue. Sparks can fly between any two people, ethnicity shouldn't even matter. But I feel for those couples that still, in 2012, encounter hostility, be it from friends, family or whatever:mad:
ThaWholigan Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Family makes interracial dating difficult for me. I still remember being 13 and my mother specifically warning me "not to bring white girls back to the house". I actually did talk with her about it recently, and I explained that when it comes to attraction race isn't going to be much of a factor to some people. She just thinks that black guys who date white girls exclusively don't like themselves. Me personally, I am comfortable enough with interracial dating that I would go against my mother's wishes if I really liked a non-black girl enough. Race doesn't factor that much into my attractions, and being that I am attracted to a variety of looks (with a few choice preferences ) I could easily date a girl of any race. 1
mesmerized Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Personally I have 0 problems with it, and Im sure my family line has no problems with it either. example, I have one uncle that actually met his wife in Mexico some 20 years ago, and they are still happily married and have a great family today. I wish it was a non-issue. Sparks can fly between any two people, ethnicity shouldn't even matter. But I feel for those couples that still, in 2012, encounter hostility, be it from friends, family or whatever:mad: I think It depends where that couple live. I think where I live most people don't care. Personally I see all kinds of. Couples from different backgrounds and I don't even give them a second look.
college_girl20 Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 I'll date any race as it really doesn't matter to me. Am I more attracted to a certain race? Possibly, I've mostly dated white guys but that has more to do with the community I live in and where I go to school. I briefly dated a black guy and hooked up *blush* with a latino guy before. I feel like skin color is insignificant but culture, religion, and family history matters more. 1
taya Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Family makes interracial dating difficult for me. I still remember being 13 and my mother specifically warning me "not to bring white girls back to the house". I actually did talk with her about it recently, and I explained that when it comes to attraction race isn't going to be much of a factor to some people. She just thinks that black guys who date white girls exclusively don't like themselves. Me personally, I am comfortable enough with interracial dating that I would go against my mother's wishes if I really liked a non-black girl enough. Race doesn't factor that much into my attractions, and being that I am attracted to a variety of looks (with a few choice preferences ) I could easily date a girl of any race. lol i love the pic you put as your avatar lol
hinatticus Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 I'm Japanese, my ex is Italian. I don't really care what people think. People may have stared, but it could've been cuz we looked good together. My son is beautiful!! Has the perfect combination of both of us. I'm sure the world as a whole has accepted it somewhat, but I'm sure there are parts of the world where it's still frowned upon. 1
mesmerized Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 I'm Japanese, my ex is Italian. I don't really care what people think. People may have stared, but it could've been cuz we looked good together. My son is beautiful!! Has the perfect combination of both of us. I'm sure the world as a whole has accepted it somewhat, but I'm sure there are parts of the world where it's still frowned upon. Mixed kids are gorgeous. 1
taya Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 I'll date any race as it really doesn't matter to me. Am I more attracted to a certain race? Possibly, I've mostly dated white guys but that has more to do with the community I live in and where I go to school. I briefly dated a black guy and hooked up *blush* with a latino guy before. I feel like skin color is insignificant but culture, religion, and family history matters more. i agree i have only dated white guys but i would date any race its about the operson and not the color ..
Arabella Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 (edited) I'm White, my boyfriend is Chinese. We get a lot of stares when we're just chilling in public places holding hands or whatever. We never do anything that would make people too uncomfortable PDA-wise (close-lipped kisses on occasion) so I have to assume it's because of the racial difference. The people staring are usually White. Interestingly enough, he's only mentioned having heard Asian people talking about us once. It could be because he doesn't notice these things as much as I do, and I wouldn't know if Asian people talk about us, since I don't speak Chinese. However, based on our experience, it makes me think that White people might find it more odd than Asians do. I also think he cares about it more than I do... as he has mentioned having issues with his Asian friends seeing us be affectionate towards each other, even though they know we're together. He doesn't care when we're out in public though. I don't care about it at all... let them look, I say... but I try to be respectful of the cultural difference. Edited October 28, 2012 by Arabella 1
somedude81 Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 i agree i have only dated white guys but i would date any race its about the operson and not the color .. Hey Taya. You're hot.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted October 28, 2012 Author Posted October 28, 2012 Interesting responses. It sems it all depends on the people in the RLship and if they care very much about what people think of them. A great many people let the opinions of random strangers effect them. As for me. The women I have been with none have been African American. Two hispanics, two white women, and one East Indian woman. In those cases the families and cultures were a real sticking point. Patriarchy vs Matriarchy, paterfamilias vs weroansqua, very different ways of viewing relationships and family organization. My parents were just as bad about it as theirs were. Thinking back most of the men I have been in relationships with were all African American except for three, one East Indian the other white. Some of those were more secretive than others. Depending on how comfortable the guy was with who he was. Believe it or not many people are that much more bigoted towards interracial Queer or just Queer enough looking couples (i.e. a masculine but female ID'd woman with a man. Or a bi or straight drag queen/CD'er with a wife. Oh yeah, that happens pretty darn often.) In all cases when I was with someone I was so into them that I didn't even notice dirty looks while I'm sure we got them.
Woggle Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 It depends on where you live. In my part of the country most people don't care but I know other places are different.
kaylan Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Some people care, and others dont. It really depends on where you live. Also, generally more people of the younger (under 30) generation seem to be fine with it. One thing though. Last week I was on facebook and heard about that new ABC show "Happy Endings". One of the main characters is gay, and two others are an interracial couple (black man, white woman). And one of the pics on the page had the couple kissing and you should have seen some of the idiotic comments. One guy even complained about "gays and interracial couples being forced fed to us in the media". And he mainly whined about the black guy with the white woman. I mean really? Gays and IR couples cant get exposure in the media without people complaining? Some folks ignore the fact that our media is overwhelmingly straight and white...and usually if I see IR couples in any media, its typically a white guy with a woman of another race. I didnt see anyone complaining when "I Love You Man" was in theatres. Hell, when Will Smith did "Hitch" they almost cast a white lady, but then thought people wouldnt like it, so they cast a latina instead. Look it up...not making that up. All in all, some people are stuck in the past....but some folks are smart and moving towards the future. 1
yongyong Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 When I express my feelings about getting stared at to white people like 'people stare at me when I am with a white girl', they usually think I have an misunderstanding or have an insecurity problem. (basically 'you have an issue) I don't know if it's because they just can't stand in my shoes Or choose to lie instead of being honest. If I say this to other minority guys, they will understand 100% straight up. I also noticed other races stare at us too. I guess having a white girl next to me is quite novelty or accomplishment? The thing is she and I know about this but I can't address the issue unless we are really into each other because she will look at me as a guy with a racial issue. So why did you choose to stay with him if you get stared by people? Everybody wants to feel comfortable in a group. That's why we act and dress certain way not to stand out. Let's say you carry this item on you and it makes people stare at you. what would you do? get rid of it, leave the group or deal with pressure, right? I guess you are staying with him because he is worth more than those staring eyes? But what if you just started dating him and you are feeling those pressure from others? I can't blame you if you ditch him not to deal with those in the beginning stage. (showing him to your friends, mentioning his race to your parents, walking in public etc) I'm White, my boyfriend is Chinese. We get a lot of stares when we're just chilling in public places holding hands or whatever. We never do anything that would make people too uncomfortable PDA-wise (close-lipped kisses on occasion) so I have to assume it's because of the racial difference. The people staring are usually White. Interestingly enough, he's only mentioned having heard Asian people talking about us once. It could be because he doesn't notice these things as much as I do, and I wouldn't know if Asian people talk about us, since I don't speak Chinese. However, based on our experience, it makes me think that White people might find it more odd than Asians do. I also think he cares about it more than I do... as he has mentioned having issues with his Asian friends seeing us be affectionate towards each other, even though they know we're together. He doesn't care when we're out in public though. I don't care about it at all... let them look, I say... but I try to be respectful of the cultural difference.
taya Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Hey Taya. You're hot. lol i just saw that thanks 1
GirlontheLam Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 I've dated interracially. And I also have my own race preferences. My family doesn't care at all, and have made that clear since I was a kid. (my closest aunt is married to her second white guy at this point, and there are some interracial couples on both sides of the family.) I put a much much higher priority on maintaining diverse friendships than ethnicity. I find that no matter who you are if all of your friends tend to only be of your ethnic group then it is a bad fit for me.
MrCastle Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 I'm comfortable with it. I encourage it. I'm all for it. I question people who hold the opposite view. With all the different cultures in this world and how different we all look, I just don't understand how you can only be attracted to one type every single time. Sometimes I feel like white meat, other times asian cuisine, other times spicy latin, other times soul food. Different girls turn me on for different reasons. The people that date one carbon copy after another are truly missing out. Variety is the spice of life.
Biscous Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Considering most my attraction is to women outside my race I'm comfortable with it. I'm comfortable with it for the right reasons though. I strongly attracted to white women. Seriously some of them have this deadly combination to drive me ****ing nuts. I'm attracted to black women as well as other women . With that said I'm strong in who I am being black and would not change that. I recall convincing my ex (white) that reading Malcolm X was a good idea
taya Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Considering most my attraction is to women outside my race I'm comfortable with it. I'm comfortable with it for the right reasons though. I strongly attracted to white women. Seriously some of them have this deadly combination to drive me ****ing nuts. I'm attracted to black women as well as other women . With that said I'm strong in who I am being black and would not change that. I recall convincing my ex (white) that reading Malcolm X was a good idea lol ok we ear ya
Recommended Posts