Eternal Sunshine Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Mishy, Yes, this man has a rotten character. He can't be "nice and kind" to one person, and treat another like s... Well, he can but it's only an act. His new gf is the one you should offer your condolences to. She probably has no idea what she is getting into as he is nice and charming to her now. He has basically used you for 5 years with no remorse. He is a complete piece of s.. and is worth nothing as a human being.
TooBroken Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Hi everyone, I decided to come here because no one I talk to can understand what I'm experiencing. I'm going through the worst break up of my life, and what makes it so bad isn't because we're fighting a lot but because I'm really in love with her and I keep getting hurt. She left me for her ex bf. We were only together for about 7 months but we became really close. I've been trying NC as a way to stop letting myself get hurt but I can't seem to let go of her. The truth is that I don't think I really want to let go of her. But I don't think she cares about me anymore because the last time we saw each other we couldn't seem to get along very well. That's because she's pushing me away though and I don't know why. Well I do know why, but it doesn't make sense. The point is, I really miss her... I still love her even though she keeps hurting me. I want her back but she wants to be with someone else. I think she's making a mistake though. And maybe I'm just fooling myself, but I think I'm the one for her, not her ex bf. I'm hoping that she will see this soon and realize that what we had was special. I'm very sad, I miss her a lot, but she doesn't seem to miss me. I've been NC with her for about a week and she hasn't tried to reach out to me. I fear she'll just forget me. NC is so hard for me. Every second I want to text her and tell her how I feel or just have her say all the things she used to say to me again. But whenever I do talk to her, she never says them and I feel so sad knowing that I'm the only one who cares.
NavyAirTraffic Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Well I do know why, but it doesn't make sense. The point is... The point is she is with someone else and you don't make her mind up for her. You can only control 1 thing, YOU. I suggest starting another thread. In the meantime read this. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/258925-me
TooBroken Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Thanks for that link. I have a lot to think about
geegirl Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 You did what you did. You can reverse it by not seeing him. OR You can engage and perpetuate your own self-destruction. If 5 years hasn't been enough to show you that there's a lesson to be learned from this, then as I said before, you haven't reached a level of being sick and tired of being sick and tired. There maybe something wrong with this man, but stop focusing on his shortcomings because YOU clearly have to look at yourself and ask what about your emotional and mental health is causing you to engage in unhealthy behaviors. There is nothing wrong with him at this point. He's doing what he's doing. The question is, what's going on with you? You keep saying he maybe a sociopath, may have serious emotional defect? But what about you keeps engaging with that? What does that say about you? How could any woman want to be with him? You did for 5 years and still going on strong. There are others like you out there. And he won't show these women who he really is. And once they attach, the true self will emerge. By then it's too late. But in making that comment, what does it say about you again that believes that no woman would want him, yet you do? 3
Tree_Salmon Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 I broke NC at 13 days. . It was breadcrumbs texting, i tried so hard not to and then i did it, i couldnt control myself. there is no hope for me. He has the girlfriend still, and i stupidly begged and pleaded:( And for what? He said he is coming over next week to see me and "talk about it" .He is coming over and he refuses to tell me how he feels via text, and said "no i will tell you" (when he sees me) That sounds like its going to be a really bad talk. Please dont say anything horrible to me, i am already beating myself up enough. I feel like throwing my phone away and disappearing Well this is a topic im very familiar with, but if you clean your your inbox we can PM.
taya Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 You did what you did. You can reverse it by not seeing him. OR You can engage and perpetuate your own self-destruction. If 5 years hasn't been enough to show you that there's a lesson to be learned from this, then as I said before, you haven't reached a level of being sick and tired of being sick and tired. There maybe something wrong with this man, but stop focusing on his shortcomings because YOU clearly have to look at yourself and ask what about your emotional and mental health is causing you to engage in unhealthy behaviors. There is nothing wrong with him at this point. He's doing what he's doing. The question is, what's going on with you? You keep saying he maybe a sociopath, may have serious emotional defect? But what about you keeps engaging with that? What does that say about you? How could any woman want to be with him? You did for 5 years and still going on strong. There are others like you out there. And he won't show these women who he really is. And once they attach, the true self will emerge. By then it's too late. But in making that comment, what does it say about you again that believes that no woman would want him, yet you do? omg i agree with you thats why i keep asking if she really going to let that man come over her house? tell him to not come over your house your done and moving on at least show him you have a little respect for your self now..hes going to come over and talk all that **** and you will feel worst and i dont think hes coming over to tell you he loves you so whats the point to tell you about his new gf?
taya Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Hi everyone, I decided to come here because no one I talk to can understand what I'm experiencing. I'm going through the worst break up of my life, and what makes it so bad isn't because we're fighting a lot but because I'm really in love with her and I keep getting hurt. She left me for her ex bf. We were only together for about 7 months but we became really close. I've been trying NC as a way to stop letting myself get hurt but I can't seem to let go of her. The truth is that I don't think I really want to let go of her. But I don't think she cares about me anymore because the last time we saw each other we couldn't seem to get along very well. That's because she's pushing me away though and I don't know why. Well I do know why, but it doesn't make sense. The point is, I really miss her... I still love her even though she keeps hurting me. I want her back but she wants to be with someone else. I think she's making a mistake though. And maybe I'm just fooling myself, but I think I'm the one for her, not her ex bf. I'm hoping that she will see this soon and realize that what we had was special. I'm very sad, I miss her a lot, but she doesn't seem to miss me. I've been NC with her for about a week and she hasn't tried to reach out to me. I fear she'll just forget me. NC is so hard for me. Every second I want to text her and tell her how I feel or just have her say all the things she used to say to me again. But whenever I do talk to her, she never says them and I feel so sad knowing that I'm the only one who cares. you say this ...But I don't think she cares about me anymore ... that alone should let you leave that girl alone stop texting her and calling and you will see she will start runing you down and dont tell me you cant stop your self from texting or calling her beacuse if i can do it so can you ,,MAN UP and stop making this girl mess up your head MAN UPand take charge of your life. MAN UP and stop making a woman walk the hell over you :o:o
Author mishy Posted October 28, 2012 Author Posted October 28, 2012 You did what you did. You can reverse it by not seeing him. OR You can engage and perpetuate your own self-destruction. If 5 years hasn't been enough to show you that there's a lesson to be learned from this, then as I said before, you haven't reached a level of being sick and tired of being sick and tired. There maybe something wrong with this man, but stop focusing on his shortcomings because YOU clearly have to look at yourself and ask what about your emotional and mental health is causing you to engage in unhealthy behaviors. There is nothing wrong with him at this point. He's doing what he's doing. The question is, what's going on with you? You keep saying he maybe a sociopath, may have serious emotional defect? But what about you keeps engaging with that? What does that say about you? How could any woman want to be with him? You did for 5 years and still going on strong. There are others like you out there. And he won't show these women who he really is. And once they attach, the true self will emerge. By then it's too late. But in making that comment, what does it say about you again that believes that no woman would want him, yet you do? he probably isnt a sociopath or any of those things, it just makes me hurt less if i attack him on here. I am sure many women want him, and fall for him he has charisma in person and it is very appealing. He would have broken many hearts i am sure. His girlfriend probably loves him to death.
Author mishy Posted October 28, 2012 Author Posted October 28, 2012 Well this is a topic im very familiar with, but if you clean your your inbox we can PM. haha i cleaned it!
Author mishy Posted October 28, 2012 Author Posted October 28, 2012 omg i agree with you thats why i keep asking if she really going to let that man come over her house? tell him to not come over your house your done and moving on at least show him you have a little respect for your self now..hes going to come over and talk all that **** and you will feel worst and i dont think hes coming over to tell you he loves you so whats the point to tell you about his new gf? i dont want to know a thing about the new gf.
taya Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 i dont want to know a thing about the new gf. but are you going to make that man come over ?
geegirl Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Even if he's not a sociopath or has an emotional defect, what about you makes you want a man that mistreated you? Are you going to see him?
taya Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 (edited) even if he's not a sociopath or has an emotional defect, what about you makes you want a man that mistreated you? Are you going to see him? its so funny we keep asking her that she wont answer .. I really think she will Edited October 28, 2012 by taya
geegirl Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Yes, she will see him. Pages and pages on the "5 years" thread isn't much of a reminder nor have the 5 years of mistreatment. He'll come by, she'll get emotional, he'll sweeten her up and have sex. Then he'll leave her again and she will feel empty and used again. Mishy will have to learn in her own way. Nothing anyone says will change the pull he has on her.
taya Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Yes, she will see him. Pages and pages on the "5 years" thread isn't much of a reminder nor have the 5 years of mistreatment. He'll come by, she'll get emotional, he'll sweeten her up and have sex. Then he'll leave her again and she will feel empty and used again. Mishy will have to learn in her own way. Nothing anyone says will change the pull he has on her. so so true but so so sad
KatZee Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 I just have to comment on the "manipulation" part. OP you ask why he's manipulating you... and that he must have something to gain by manipulating you. I honestly don't see him manipulating you at all. YOU'RE THE ONE who broke the NC. He didn't toss breadcrumbs at you, or say anything to you at all. He's out living his life, he's over you, he has a new girlfriend. He wasn't looking in your direction at all until you reached out and started begging and pleading. In response to your neediness, he said, "I'll talk next week." I don't see his refusal to answer you as being manipulative. I think it's him trying to tell you to take a hint. He has nothing to say to you. He doesn't want you back, he's not trying to win you back, he's not trying to fix things. He's out with his new girlfriend! I truly think that if you just started NC again today, and didn't reach out next week... you won't hear from him. He's not going to get in touch to "talk" because as I already said, he has nothing to say to you. I think he tried to just end the conversation as quickly as possible. It seems you're looking for some sort of closure, by asking him if he wants to end it fully for good? I'm not quite sure why you need this closure. He's with someone else. You guys ARE over. And based on the other threads you posted and how crappy of a person he was, why are you chasing that? What does he offer YOU? How does he lift up YOUR life? I'm pretty sure he contributes nothing but unhappiness and misery, so why do you keep going back there?
Simon Phoenix Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Yeah, I'm not seeing the manipulation either. The OP is begging her ex for contact and then blaming him when he does.
Author mishy Posted October 28, 2012 Author Posted October 28, 2012 its so funny we keep asking her that she wont answer .. I really think she will No, I am letting it go. He doesnt want me and i have to accept that. It has taken a long time to even digest he has a girlfriend and its going to hurt for a while. But i am addicted to him and i have to break it for my own sanity. I have to accept that he never did want me and that i was just an option. So no, there wont be anymore breaking NC because im not doing anything. I've given up. I have a fairly high tolerance threshold for pain and anguish, but theres nothing more i can say to him. He has chosen Miss Two Weeks.
Author mishy Posted October 28, 2012 Author Posted October 28, 2012 I just have to comment on the "manipulation" part. OP you ask why he's manipulating you... and that he must have something to gain by manipulating you. I honestly don't see him manipulating you at all. YOU'RE THE ONE who broke the NC. He didn't toss breadcrumbs at you, or say anything to you at all. He's out living his life, he's over you, he has a new girlfriend. He wasn't looking in your direction at all until you reached out and started begging and pleading. In response to your neediness, he said, "I'll talk next week." I don't see his refusal to answer you as being manipulative. I think it's him trying to tell you to take a hint. He has nothing to say to you. He doesn't want you back, he's not trying to win you back, he's not trying to fix things. He's out with his new girlfriend! I truly think that if you just started NC again today, and didn't reach out next week... you won't hear from him. He's not going to get in touch to "talk" because as I already said, he has nothing to say to you. I think he tried to just end the conversation as quickly as possible. It seems you're looking for some sort of closure, by asking him if he wants to end it fully for good? I'm not quite sure why you need this closure. He's with someone else. You guys ARE over. And based on the other threads you posted and how crappy of a person he was, why are you chasing that? What does he offer YOU? How does he lift up YOUR life? I'm pretty sure he contributes nothing but unhappiness and misery, so why do you keep going back there? yes you are right, he has no intention of seeing me.
taya Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 No, I am letting it go. He doesnt want me and i have to accept that. It has taken a long time to even digest he has a girlfriend and its going to hurt for a while. But i am addicted to him and i have to break it for my own sanity. I have to accept that he never did want me and that i was just an option. So no, there wont be anymore breaking NC because im not doing anything. I've given up. I have a fairly high tolerance threshold for pain and anguish, but theres nothing more i can say to him. He has chosen Miss Two Weeks. good girl let him go i know your in pain but you have to do this
Author mishy Posted October 29, 2012 Author Posted October 29, 2012 i am going to write a list of qualities i would like in a guy, and a list of his qualities. Maybe if i see it plainly it will help me forget him. i remember other guys i have fallen for before and when i look back i dont even know why i got so caught up. They mean nothing to me now, and i really want to get to that place with him.
Leigh 87 Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 damn. I am really dissapointed in you.... Wake up to yourself; you have a great job, you sound like a really nice girl who would treat a guy well: SO WHY do you have NO self respect? Man. I don't even have a job, I am not that pretty, and on paper I have nothing much going for me, yet I only deserve the best from men in my life, and demand that!!!!!!!!!!!! You broke no contact. The best thing you can do now is to go no contact again asap. You know the best thing for you is to stop talking to him or having any sort of contact with him. You SAY you want to do what is best for you. Do it. 1
taya Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 damn. I am really dissapointed in you.... Wake up to yourself; you have a great job, you sound like a really nice girl who would treat a guy well: SO WHY do you have NO self respect? Man. I don't even have a job, I am not that pretty, and on paper I have nothing much going for me, yet I only deserve the best from men in my life, and demand that!!!!!!!!!!!! You broke no contact. The best thing you can do now is to go no contact again asap. You know the best thing for you is to stop talking to him or having any sort of contact with him. You SAY you want to do what is best for you. Do it. AMEN sister lol and your very pretty and your right we as woman have to demand respect and the best from a men and if he dont give it let him go
Leigh 87 Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 hahaha THANKS Taya, I consider myself very normal looking! YOU, on the other hand, are wow! Very pretty indeed! The thing is, even unnattractive women shuold demand their partner treats them well. Not that this man was ever her partner. But you know - I demand friends with benifits treat me well! If I am to sleep with even a friend with nos trings attached, I HAVE to know they treat me well as a human being! I am not just goingt o gibe my body up to ANY guy who treats me like crap! Friend or life partner, ALL men have to like me a lot, think Iam awesome, think highly of me, and NOT be embarrassed or against hanging out with me outside of the bedroom. ..If I am sleeping with even just a friend, I still need them to like being around me to the extent that they WANT to hang out with me.
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