jolbell Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 (edited) I was going out with a new guy for about a month. Let's call him G. By "going out," I mean we went on dates once or twice a week. We met online. There was physical attraction and our dates were awesome. We were not seeing other people. We did not establish exclusivity. We did not have sex. We're mid/late-20s. The last time we went out, things got a little steamy at his place, and I told G that I didn't want to have sex with him yet. For the 2 following days, G contacted me daily at his normal times, as he had done for the entire 5-6wks we were going out. After that, I stopped hearing from him for TWO WEEKS. My last text went unanswered. I texted G after a week. His friend got hold of his phone and said he saw my picture and thought G should marry me. G texts back to apologize for his drunk friend and said "let's talk soon." Now, 1 week later (almost 3 weeks since I last saw him), he calls me out of the blue. I was busy and said so. He asked that I call back. WWYD? Edited October 27, 2012 by jolbell clarity
RachR Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 I would pass...Three weeks without contact except a "let's talk soon" text is a long time when you haven't been dating but just over a month.
Balzac Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 "We were not seeing other people. We did not establish exclusivity" Sounds to me as if he took out another woman, maybe got lucky, but is testing the opportunity with you. What are you looking for. Mid twentyish means you've been in the dating game long enough to get it. Sex is a part of the equation. You're entitled to not be ready just as he's entitled to seek other options.
NoMoreJerks Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 OP - forget him and move on. He probably had someone else to busy himself with (read: a girl), and it didn't pan out, so now he's back to focusing on you. Even if not, 2-3 weeks without contact/meeting up is just a big no-no, especially when it happens at the beginning of the courting, when he is probably on his best behaviour? No. You deserve better than that. And unanswered text = definite NO.
River Rain Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Yeah, that's too long without contact considering you saw each other so many times...I would try to forget about this one.
jcrew11 Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 I was going out with a new guy for about a month. Let's call him G. By "going out," I mean we went on dates once or twice a week. We met online. There was physical attraction and our dates were awesome. We were not seeing other people. We did not establish exclusivity. We did not have sex. We're mid/late-20s. The last time we went out, things got a little steamy at his place, and I told G that I didn't want to have sex with him yet. For the 2 following days, G contacted me daily at his normal times, as he had done for the entire 5-6wks we were going out. After that, I stopped hearing from him for TWO WEEKS. My last text went unanswered. I texted G after a week. His friend got hold of his phone and said he saw my picture and thought G should marry me. G texts back to apologize for his drunk friend and said "let's talk soon." Now, 1 week later (almost 3 weeks since I last saw him), he calls me out of the blue. I was busy and said so. He asked that I call back. WWYD? If he met you with online dating, then he also had contacted other women before he met you. After a month, he was expecting sex, and when you turned him down, he contacted some of the other women from online and went on dates with them. Its so easy with online dating to meet many women and get many dates. Don't feel bad, he just found somebody else. After one month, you should really decide if you want to be monogamous or when you will have sex. Some guys just have a lot of options and they don't want to waste their time and money on a girl who doesn't want sex. Why do you want to date him again, if you don't want to have sex or monogamy with him?
Author jolbell Posted October 28, 2012 Author Posted October 28, 2012 I really did like him! He was cute, funny, smart and made me laugh a lot. I really wanted to sleep with him but did not want to risk him disappearing afterward. Funny how that worked out, eh?? I really wanted him to ask me to be exclusive or told me he wanted to head that way. I think I would've expressed my own intentions if a few more weeks passed and things continued to go well. Basically, I wanted to make sure it'd be a relationship and not a ONS/booty call kinda thing. I saw real potential so I was wanted to be patient with sex and to not ruin a good thing. If it makes any difference, I "poofed" on him too after our 2nd date. I didn't think it went as well as the 1st one. After ~2wks, I emailed him an apology and we then began going out for a month. 1
NoMoreJerks Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 I really did like him! He was cute, funny, smart and made me laugh a lot. I really wanted to sleep with him but did not want to risk him disappearing afterward. Funny how that worked out, eh?? Worked out to your benefit, IMO. A guy who does a disappearing magic trick after you tell him you don't want to have sex YET (you didn't say EVER, did you?), is not worth your time, energy, emotions, etc.
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