Rubyemerald Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 Sorry this is so long! He came round and it was awkward at first, we made small talk about my new place and I offered him the dinner, which he accepted. I didn't go out and buy him a big juicy steak like I planned, didn't want to get my hopes up, so pizza it was. We went up to my room, he perched on the edge of my bed in silence. A bit of probing later, I finally clicked the problem. 'Are you feeling low' I asked him, the answer was yes. It appears his depression has made a come back, he told me I have done nothing wrong, that he still loves me and when I asked him if he REALLY wanted this outcome, he couldn't say yes. I asked him if the relationship had caused the depression, or the depression had caused the deterioration of our relationship, he couldn't answer, then said a bit of both. We both cried a hell of a lot. We sobbed. I promised him I would help him get through this hard time. My depression has taught me enough to know that you really need someone to lean on. I told him that his view on us right now could be clouded by his current state of mind, that when he gets himself better again he could look back and regret breaking up. He told me I'm a great friend to him, and he does want to still see me, I told him that if he is going to break up with me then I can't be his friend, I will have to do the no contact, this upset him. We came to the conclusion that we are going to have a break, I've told him I'll happily put our relationship on hold, at least until he is feeling better. I'll be his friend and companion until he feels happier, then and only then will we resume sorting out our relationship. I told him that trying to get over a break up and sort out his state of mind is a disaster waiting to happen, I'd rather put my feelings aside and make him better first. I know he needs me to lean on. We then kissed a lot, using the excuse that it might not happen again, we didn't have sex though. When he went I gave him my goodbye letter, told him that he still deserved to read this and it might give him an insight into how important our relationship really is. More crying, laughing, kissing and smiling. I love him so much, this is breaking my heart but I know that we stand a better chance if he gets better first. I have bought myself more time, which is bad of me, but I can't cut off contact with him in such a bad place, I had to ask him to postpone the break up. I simply can't heal without the no contact rule, and I'm not cutting off someone who needs me. Opinions?
gonefishin Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 Hey I've read this and your last post .. Think it's easy to see your having a tough time.. So I'll try say this nicely.. Don't take offence.. Do you think he possibly does want to break up And you kinda didn't accept that and he wasn't strong enough o stick to his guns as such. I think your trying to do the right thing to help a vey close friend but I really worry for you .. Your kinda living in hope and maybe when he's "fixed" he doesn't want you and your back to square one or maybe worse... Consider yourself in this .. Have a look at more posts here where people including myself have hung around in hope and got nothing but more hurt. Not saying this is the case but just be aware it could be . You gotta have a eye on number 1! Hope u get the result u want either way )
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